He’s About To Go Old Testament On Their A**es

, , , , , | Related | December 7, 2019

(I’m with my family watching a funny TV show about a ridiculous, hyper-observant guy that pretends to be a psychic in order to help the police. His best friend is a much more respectful, grown-up character. While solving a case, they come across a Bible and the main character, who is hilariously sacrilegious, throws it over his shoulder to get it out of the way. A terrific conversation ensues between the characters… and my father:)

Friend Character: “I can’t believe you did that!”

Main Character: “What? It doesn’t mean I don’t respect it.”

Friend Character: “Please. Have you ever even read the Good Book?”

Main Character: “Duh. Of course, I have.”

Friend Character: “Okay, fine. What are the first five books?”

(For those who don’t know, the first five books of the Bible are Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.)

Main Character: “Uhhh… Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan, Doooooo… the right thing?”

Dad: *pauses show* “Wait! He forgot Numbers!”

Me: “Really, Dad? As a pastor, the most important thing that you noticed was that he skipped one?”

Dad: *laughing* “Of course! That’s obviously the important part!” 

Family: “Okay, fine. What would you have said?”

Dad: *very focused* “Hmm… Let’s see… Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan… Numerology!”

(I’m not sure if we actually finished watching the episode that night, and almost ten years later, it’s still a running joke!)

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