(Due to an inheritance, we have actual cash in hand to buy a car. We know exactly what we want and can pay for the entire thing up front. We walk into the dealership very excited. No one is in the showroom, but the offices along one side all have people in them. Despite several of them looking right at us and clearly talking about us, we stand around for half an hour waiting for someone to come help us. We finally decide to just leave in frustration. Suddenly, I have HAD IT. I turn around and walk back into the showroom, and one of the men from the offices comes right over to ask if he can help me.)

Me: “Well, you should have. We stood in here for thirty minutes waiting for someone to help us. I know you saw us because you made eye contact with me. My husband and I came in here with cash to buy a [Car] today, but you just lost the sale.”

(He begins to sputter and says that he isn’t a salesman and that they are all in a meeting.)

Me: “I don’t care what your job is; you could have come over when you saw that your store had customers and asked if we needed anything. Instead, you can explain to your boss when he gets my complaint why you sat on your butts and lost him a nice sale. Have a nice day.”

(I only have one other coworker who has exactly the same position as me in our department. He’s a nice enough guy, but staggeringly incompetent at our job, which frustrates me to no end because cleaning up his messes dramatically complicates my duties. I was excited when we brought him on, because the department was a lot for me to handle alone, but he makes so many mistakes I’m not sure I’m actually working less. We used to work side-by-side frequently, but the schedule recently changed so now we mostly work opposite shifts except for overlapping on one day. This means I’m not around to babysit him as much as before. It’s important we communicate about what work is being handed off, and I always make clear to customers which days I’m in the office and which days they will catch him instead. One Friday, close to closing time, the phone rings.)

Receptionist: “[My Name], can you take a call? She asked for [Coworker], but he’s off today; when I told her she got pretty pissed. I’m hoping you can help her.”

(I end up talking to her for quite a while, getting the situation untangled. Afterwards:)

Receptionist: “Were you able to get it figured out?”

Me: “Yeah, and I don’t blame her for being angry. [Coworker] worked with her last week, and she talked to him again Monday. He told her, ‘I promise I’ll call you by the end of the day Friday. I’m writing it in my calendar so I don’t forget.’ That’s awfully specific, and sounds like something he’d say; I don’t think she was lying. And she never heard from him today, so that’s why she called.”

Receptionist: “…but he didn’t work today.”

Me: “Yep. He only worked Monday and Tuesday this week. I know he’s usually here Wednesday, too, but last Friday is the only Friday he’s worked since the schedule change, because I traded for Wednesday. He NEVER works Friday otherwise. And he definitely never told me about her.”

Receptionist: “Wow.”

Me: “And, get this: I checked, and he never actually ordered the parts to fix her car in the first place. Both when she first came in, AND when she talked to him again.”

Receptionist: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yep. I took care of it and booked her for Monday when he’s back. Unlike what he did to me, I’ll actually tell him what’s going on, so he doesn’t get blindsided.”

(What I happened to know that WOULD blindside him is that he would be written up Monday, twice, for two separate mistakes that cost the department over a thousand dollars, a week after getting written up for doing a horrible job helping a different customer. I don’t think he’ll be with us much longer.)

(We are saving for a trip to Savannah, so our Girl Scouts are having booth sales everywhere. A car dealership invited us to have a sale at their lot, and it is slow. Not many people come to a dealership to buy cookies. My girls are Juniors, aged 9-11, and are bored. My daughter is standing at the table asking everyone who walks by to buy cookies, and finally a man comes up, with the owner of the dealership.)

Man: *asking my daughter* “How much for a box of cookies?”

Daughter: “$15,000, and I’ll throw in that truck.”

(The owner burst out laughing, and told her that she had a job anytime she wanted it, once she was an adult! The man bought two cases before we went home.)

This story is part of our Girl Scouts roundup!

Read the next Girl Scouts roundup story!

Read the Girl Scouts roundup!

(My coworker likes to occasionally “pick on” some of the sales managers, but it’s all in good fun, and they know she’s just joking.)

Coworker: *shouting out the window of the office to one of the managers* “[MANAGER], ARE YOU IMPOTENT?”

Me: “[Coworker], you can’t say that!”

Coworker: “Why?”

Me: “Do you know what that means?”

Coworker: “Doesn’t it just mean, like, unimportant?”

Me: “No! It means a guy can’t get it up!”

Coworker: “Oh.”

(At this point, the manager comes over, and he’s just dying of laughter.)

Me: “Never say that again!”

(My dad was a church pastor for years, and this is one of his favorite stories about not letting what you see fool you. The chairman of our church board is an old, widowed, retired pastor who, in his retirement, has acquired several businesses and made them moderately successful. This means he drives very nice luxury cars from [High End German Brand]. However, he’s taken a liking to the styling of a new [High End American Brand] sedan, and decides one day to stop into his local dealer and test drive one. He’s just finished mowing his very large yard, and as such, is dressed the part: cutoff jean shorts, a somewhat grimy T-shirt, and grass-stained tennis shoes. He pulls up in his work truck and enters the showroom. He waits for thirty minutes before anyone even acknowledges his presence. He approaches the reception desk and asks to talk to a salesman.)

Reception: “I think they’re all with other customers, sir.”

(He looks around, sees several sitting in their offices, drinking coffee, reading, or otherwise NOT with customers. He begins to figure this out.)

Chairman: “That’s okay, ma’am. I’ll just look around a bit.”

(He looks around, finds the sedan he’s interested in, and manages to get a salesman to talk to him for a few seconds.)

Salesman: “Yes, sir, that’s a fine automobile. Just started getting those in last week. Here’s a brochure and my card. When you’re ready to pick one up, give me a call.” *He then walks away.*

([Chairman] leaves and goes home. He showers, shaves, and puts on a suit. Then he drives back up to the dealer in his [High End German Luxury Car] and parks. He doesn’t make it to the door before three salesmen are trying to corral him. He stops them.)

Chairman: “I’m here to see [Salesman].” *holding up the business card he was given*

(They dutifully go and get [Salesman]. [Chairman] greets him warmly and shakes his hand and asks how he’s been since they’ve talked last. The salesman looks puzzled.)

Salesman: “Have we met? I know you have my card, but I don’t think we’ve met…”

Chairman: “We sure did, not 90 minutes ago. I was the old guy in cutoff jean shorts who was prepared to drop fifty thousand bucks on that car in your showroom. Remember me now?”

(The salesman’s jaw dropped and he stammered out that he did, indeed, remember. [Chairman] sat down with him and his sales manager, they had a long talk, and much discounting of the sale price of the car went on. Finally, [Chairman] stood up, thanked them for their time, and walked out, without the car. He drove thirty extra miles to buy it from a competing dealer, who, when he showed up there in his cutoffs and grass-stained shoes, immediately offered him a seat and a cold drink, asked him how they could assist him, and got him a salesman in less than five minutes. He’s driven that brand ever since.)