Has Twenty-Twenty Vision

, , , , , | Right | October 7, 2018

(I am working the express lane for those who have twenty items or less. I really hate being on it because I often get customers with a lot more due to the fact that the sign is hard to see. I try to have them leave by letting them know ASAP so I’m not wasting their time, but sometimes I don’t notice them in time and let them through, which clearly frustrates the customers with only a few things. I am ringing up a customer with only a few items and there is no one else in my line. A woman with a full cart comes in.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am, this line is only for twenty items or less.”

(She stares at me, and I quickly revert my attention back to the customer I was helping, assuming that she is going to leave. However, she doesn’t and starts to put her stuff on the belt.)

Customer: “Oh! This is for twenty items or less.”

(She then proceeds to SEPARATE ALL HER ITEMS BY TWENTY. As she is doing this, the store progressively starts getting busy as a stream of customers with only a few items in their hands make their way to my register.)

Me: *whispers* “Kill me now, please.”

How Much Jam Did Someone Stuff Down There?

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(One of the offices I assist remotely is allergic to doing troubleshooting that requires any amount of effort on their part, preferring to just replace everything any time there’s a problem, and charge it to the company. This is my favorite ticket from these guys:)

Ticket: “The printer downstairs in the south wing has a paper jam. I believe the best course of action would be to replace the printer.”

Never Feed Them (Hours) After Midnight

, , , , , , | Legal | September 12, 2018

(I am seventeen, working in a popular fast food place. Being a minor, there are restrictions on when we can work; we can work 28 hours a week, and not past midnight.)

Manager #1: “Hey, [My Name] can you work closing tonight?”

Me: “Well, I can work part of closing. But I need to leave at midnight.”

Manager #1: “Why?”

Me: “I’m a minor; I cannot work past midnight.”

Manager #1: “Oh. Well, what we can do is have you clock out at midnight, then, just keep working. Then I’ll make an adjustment to your time.”

Me: “Um… Well… It is a Friday and I have no school tomorrow, so… okay.”

(I happily work the extra hours. This repeats itself many times over the next couple of months; I have a ton of “adjustment” hours I get paid for and am happy with the money. Then, one day…)

Me: “Do you need me to work closing tonight? It’s a weekend.”

Manager #2: “You cannot work past midnight; you are a minor.”

Me: “Oh, [Manager] always has me work closing, then just puts the extra hours on my time card as an adjustment.”

Manager #2: “Um, they shouldn’t be doing that; it’s against the law. I need to look into it.”

(The manager who was doing that was demoted, and a very strongly-worded memo came out that stated very clearly that all minors must leave by midnight. Oops! I didn’t mean to get them in trouble; I was just happy to have the extra money!)

Unfiltered Story #115147

, , | Unfiltered | June 18, 2018

I am shopping at a well-known retail store whose employees wear red shirts and khaki bottoms. I am wearing black jeans, and a dark blue tee with my agency’s name – a name whose acronym or full name don’t even come close to the retail store – printed on the FRONT and BACK of the tee. A customer starts to walk up to me as I’m using the price check scanner…

Customer: Do you know where I can find belts?

Me: … I don’t work here.

Customer: Oh… *walks away*

(For specifics, I was shopping at Target. My tee on the front stated “Asian Americans for Community Involvement” and on the back had the acronym “AACI” with three other words. No clue how price checking a bunch of items = an employee whose attire don’t even come close to what’s expected)

Get The [Beep] Out

, , , , , | Related | March 11, 2018

(I am 12, and I have scoliosis. This causes the spine to bend in unnatural ways and can even lead to full paralysis. I am lucky; my doctors catch it at an early curve, and I am moved to a specialized hospital where I undergo corrective surgery. Much of the family comes to visit, some of whom I’m not a fan of, specifically my older brother. During my time in the ICU just after surgery, I am hooked up to a press-button mechanism which delivers pain-killing meds to my system with an audible beep. While in the ICU I am constantly exhausted, surrounded by family and being annoyed by nurses and doctors. One day, I’ve had enough. I’ve been suffering traumatic nightmares and hallucinations, which leaves me spiteful, this morning especially. I have also forgotten that the machine which gives me medicine has a tendency to beep. My family walks in, led by the head nurse.)

Nurse: *gently* “[My Name], wake up; your family’s here!”

Me: *groans and glares at family*

My Brother: *teasingly* “So, [My Name], how are you feeling today?”

Me: *glares some more, presses button*

Machine: *BEEP*

Me: *startled and confused* “Huh?”

My Family: *laughs*

Dad: “Well, I guess that answers that question!”

(I couldn’t help but laugh, myself.)

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