(I work in a bank as a receptionist. I don’t handle any money and have very few things I can help customers with personally. I usually just direct them to other people in the bank. I’m working one day when a man comes RUNNING into the bank, which immediately scares me half to death. He bolts up to my desk, arms flailing.)

Customer: “I need a cashier’s check!”

(I’m trying to not have a heart attack because I thought he was about to do something to me or the bank, but answer him calmly.)

Me: “The tellers up front can help you with that.”

(I point to the teller line about six feet away. There is one person at each window, and no one in line behind them.)

Customer: “I don’t have time for this bulls***!”

(He maybe waited a total of 45 seconds before a window opened up, and he then started to rush the teller into getting the check printed. She’s a pro, though, and wouldn’t let him rush her. Still, it took him a solid five minutes to figure out how much he needed it for and who it was going to be written to. She waited patiently.)

(A customer calls asking about a bedroom package.)

Customer: “Hi. I want to know how much the [bedroom package] costs.”

Me: “It’s normally [price], but right now it’s on sale for [significant discount]!”

Customer: “Can you do any further discount on that price?”

Me: “No, unfortunately not. We already give a small discount on all the items when they’re purchased in a package, and you’re saving [large amount] on top of—“

Customer: *interrupting* “It’s just that I’m in [Competitor] right now, looking at the same item, and I want to know if you can go any cheaper.”

Me: “Unfortunately not. You’re already saving [large amount] on top of our regular discount; we can’t go any lower.”

Customer: “Okay, then, goodbye.”

(I think that’s the end of it until I get a call back ten minutes later.)

Customer: “I just wanted you to know I bought the package from [Competitor].”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “And I paid more for it, too. Think about that.”

Me: “…”

(I have no idea what I’m supposed to “think about,” or what I did to tick this guy off so much!)

(I am a customer grabbing a quick lunch in a hospital cafeteria. I see that they have a self-serve salad bar, so I make myself a salad, but I realize they are out of croutons. I notice an employee filling up the empty bin of tomatoes, so I approach her.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss, when you get a chance, would you be able to refill the croutons? It seems you’re out, and I love those things.”

Employee: “Sure thing! I can do those right now; just give me a sec…”

(Another customer standing nearby interrupts her.)

Customer: *in a very angry tone* “Don’t you dare put any more croutons out; those are like little calorie bombs! They are so bad for me; they will kill me. My mom is already in the hospital and now you are trying to kill me.”

Employee: “Well, ma’am, you don’t have to put any on your salad if you think they will make you sick, but other people…”

Customer: *interrupting again* “WHO GIVES A FLYING F*** ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE?! THEY ARE CALORIE BOMBS AND THEY WILL KILL ME!” *turns to me* “And they will kill you, too, if you’re not careful. CALORIE BOMBS!”

(She then literally ran out of the cafeteria while the employee and I just stared at each other. She refilled the croutons, and I put some on my salad, but I have to say I now think twice every time I use a salad bar when loading up with “calorie bombs.”)

(I’m walking down International Drive when I pass a gator exhibit with a man holding a small alligator, offering it to tourists.)

Man: “Would you like to pet an alligator?”

Me: “Yes!”

(I’ve held an alligator before; however, this time I hesitate as I reach out towards it. When I do, the man thrusts the alligator towards my face, in a way that is sudden and intrusive yet does not disturb the alligator.)

Man: “Yah!”

Me: “Ack!”

(I’m very easy to startle, and I cry out and jump back. The man laughs.)

Man: “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

Me: “You saw weakness and you zeroed in on it. I should have seen it coming.”

(I then proceeded to pet the alligator to my heart’s content.)

(A regular comes up to my register with a full trolley.)

Me: “Hello. Looks like you’ve had a good haul today!”

(She stops in front of me, but does nothing except squint her eyes.)

Me: *after a few awkward seconds* “Would you like me to put this through for you?”

Regular: “I don’t trust you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to perhaps earn that trust?”

Regular: *pause* “No.” *abandons trolley and leaves the store*

(I haven’t seen her since. I had to put her trolley back out.)