It is Black Friday, around 6:00 pm, and most of the merchandise that was in the big sale has been gone since about 7:00 in the morning. I have been straightening the store. A male customer in his forties approaches me.

Customer:
“Can you tell me where [products in the ad] are?”

Me:
“I am sorry but I believe all of these have been gone since this morning. It was a very popular item.”

Customer:
“Well, I was really hoping you had some left. Can you show me where they were so I can make sure they are all gone?”

Me:
“Of course. I believe they were in the men’s department.”

Customer:
*Very awkwardly* “Can I tell you something? Your blue eyes are cuter than a baby penguin in Antarctica.”

Me:
“Um… Thanks.”

I call for a coworker who is working in the men’s area who has overheard the exchange.

Me:
“This is [Coworker]; he works in the men’s department and can show you where they were.”

After showing the customer that we are, indeed, out of the particular product, he comes back.

Coworker:
“Did that guy just say your eyes were cuter than a baby penguin in Antarctica?”

Me:
“Yep, weirdest compliment I have ever received.”

This story is part of our Black Friday 2023 roundup!

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I pour samples of various alcoholic beverages in retail stores. The stores require we ID everybody, and we take down their names to prove they have been carded. 

Customer:
“I’d like a sample.”

Me:
“I just need to see your ID, please.”

He hands me his ID. As I start to write down his name, he asks why. I explain that it is just to prove I carded him.  

Customer:
“No! No! Give me my ID back and forget the sample! The government will know I drink! 

I explain that this is only shared with my employer.

Customer:
“F*** you! You just want the government to know I drink!”

The customer stalked away from the table, turned, and gave me the bird. I stood there speechless for a good couple of minutes.

This actually happened to my dad, but I arrived to see the tail end of it. My dad works in one of the major grocery stores as a cashier and has done — at this store — for nearly 28 years, so he’s seen a lot of weird customers. I think this one takes the cake, though.

A middle-aged woman came into the grocery store one afternoon. She grabbed a trolley and started to go up and down the aisles. It looked like she was doing a weekly shop, and the trolley ended up piled high with stock. She got into line at my dad’s register but didn’t load anything onto the belt. Slightly odd, but some customers won’t when there’s someone in front of them. However, when the current customer left — there’s not enough room to get out of the registers if someone has a trolley in front of you because they’re not that wide — the woman looked at my dad and the register… before walking right out of the shop!

I arrived outside to pick my dad up from work in time to see one of the front end supervisors and a security officer chasing after the woman with a full trolley of goods. She claimed that she didn’t think she had to pay, that she thought they were having a giveaway. They escorted her back to the store and requested that she either pay or leave with nothing. 

Just to clarify, this woman spoke English with an Australian accent, was well dressed and well presented, and didn’t appear to have anything wrong with her.

I don’t know if she truly was just confused or if she attempted to scam them. Either way, it’s definitely one of the stranger experiences that Dad has had!

I’m working in a grooming salon when a father and his teenage son come in with a dog.

Me:
“Hi! Who do we have here?”

Father:
“This is Nugget. Can you please shave him?”

Me:
“Okay, do you have an appointment?”

Son:
“No. Please, it stinks!”

I end up able to take the dog, and when referring to the dog, I ask the sex of the dog, as some customers get upset if you say the wrong pronoun.

Son:
“You can look underneath and check!”

The son holds up the dog and then puts the dog down, and he starts playing with his belt as I’m talking to the dad. 

Son:
“I don’t know if I’m a boy or a girl; I need to check!”

Luckily, the dad stopped him before his pants went down, but after they left, I decided to go on break!

I work at the front desk at a hotel. A guest is checking in but the debit terminal at the computer is out of order.

Manager:
“Hello, and welcome to the hotel. Do you have a reservation with us?”

Guest:
“Yes.”

Manager:
“Okay, we have you in for one night. The total will be $150; how do you wish to pay today?

Guest:
“Debit, please.”

Manager:
“Okay, sounds great. Unfortunately, my debit terminal is out of order so we will have to use this other one just next to us.”

The working debit machine is literally a three-step side shuffle away.

Guest:
“RACIST!”

They stormed out, and to this day we still don’t know what happened.