(This happens every single week with the same woman, without fail. This lady digs through our bread, then approaches the counter.)

Customer: “What’s the date today?”

Me: “It’s [date].”

Customer: “This bread goes off [two days from date]!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It’s freshly baked bread with no additives; it goes stale quickly.”

Customer: “This is unreasonable. Why doesn’t it have a longer date?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing we can do. There’s no more bread in the shop and if there was, it would have the same date.”

Customer: *storms out*

(I work in a bakery. Our registers often require a manager’s card to do some functions, such as deleting things or putting through refunds. Company policy states that managers must not let their cards out of their sight at all during their shift. However, because of the hindrance it causes to go searching for a manager for every minor issue, managers at my store leave their cards at the registers and instruct us to hide them, just in case the owner comes in. We have a manager who was recently demoted and transferred to our store, so she is eager to prove herself. We always have two managers on, unless it is early morning or late at night. It is the middle of lunch rush and we have a drastic computer failure. Transactions are going through, but then the orders are not showing up on the screens, and are not being filled. About twenty minutes after this is fixed, a customer comes up to me with a receipt.)

Customer: “Hello, I placed my order about half an hour ago and I haven’t gotten it yet.”

Me: “Can I have the name on the order?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [Customer].”

(I run over and check if there are any orders under that name, but it appears to be missing.)

Me: *to customer* “So, it appears that your order never showed up on the screen, and was never completed. You have two options. Either I can bring them your receipt and they will fill your order as fast as they can, or I can refund you and give you a free bakery items for your troubles.”

Customer: “I’d like the refund. I can’t afford to wait any longer.”

Me: “All right, just come on over to my register and I’ll get that for you.”

(I pick up the manager card and swipe it, opening up the refund menu. However, the new manager notices me and drops what she is doing to run over. She snatches the card out of my hand.)

Manager: “[My Name], what in the world are you doing with [Other Manager]’s card?”

Me: “I was just processing a refund, and she left it here for us to use.”

Manager: “No! I will do it for you.”

(I cringe, because I know that her old cafe used a different system, and she has not been fully trained on the one we use. She exits out of the refund menu, and then stares blankly at the screen for a minute before asking me what to do next. I reach to press the button to bring up the manager menu, but she swats my hand away.)

Manager: “No. I will do it. Just tell me.”

(I direct her towards the right button. It continues like this the entire time, her pausing for a minute at each step and asking me for help, but not letting me do it myself. Thankfully, the customer is relatively easy-going about it, and keeps meeting my eyes and smirking.)

Manager: “And do you want that in cash or back on the card?”

Customer: “Cash, please.”

Me: “Please, can I count out the cash? I really don’t like it when other people do it on my drawer—”

Manager: “No! And here is your $17.”

(I watch, appalled, as she hands over $28, having grabbed a 20 and an extra 1.)

Customer: “You gave me extra change. I need $17, not $28.”

(She makes a point of handing the money to me instead of to my manager. I count out the correct amount and give it to her.)

Manager: “There! All refunded! Now I will go give [Other Manager] her card back.”

(She walks into the back, looking extremely pleased with herself. Once she has turned the corner, the customer starts laughing.)

Customer: “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry you have to deal with her. She seems terrible!”

Me: “She’s always like that, but I’ve learned to live with it. Now, about those free bakery items I promised you… Which one do you want?”

Customer: “Can I have one of those warm chocolate chip cookies?”

(I made sure to give her two as an apology.)

(We sell crumble cake in various sizes; we can sell the whole plate, half of it, or a quarter. My coworker has a customer who already ordered a coffee and is now looking at the cake we offer.)

Customer: “Oh, I’ll take some of that crumble cake there; that looks delicious!”

Coworker: “Sure! Would you like the whole plate or half of it?”

Customer: “Ha, half of it will do; I’ll never finish that whole plate.” *laughing* “Well, unless you want some of it, too!”

Coworker: *also laughing* “Well, I wouldn’t say no to that, and I’m sure my coworkers won’t, either!”

Customer: “Well, then. Take the whole plate, please. I’ll pay for both halves, and one is yours!”

(My coworker starts laughing again, but she quickly realizes the customer is actually serious.)

Customer: “Yes, I mean it! It’s almost Christmas, and I love coming here. You are always friendly, all of you here, and the cake is awesome. Take it as an early Christmas treat.”

(They finished the transaction with my coworker thanking him, then she took our half of the plate into the back and related the story to us. My other coworker and I thanked the customer, too, before he left. It really made our day, and that cake was awesome.)

(I work in a bakery that takes a lot of large orders. We usually send invoices to customers for these large orders. I am in charge of dealing with emails. One customer wants me to add an extra $1800 fee to his invoice, and then forward the cash to his event planner. I tell my coworkers about it, and the following happens:)

Me: “It’s a scam.”

Coworker: “How do you know?”

Me: “Have you never heard of that before? People try to do this all the time. He even tried to offer an $80 tip, even though I told him there’s an extra gratuity included.”

Coworker: “But how would it be a scam? He’s giving us money and we’re giving it back to him.”

Me: “It’s probably a stolen credit card, or it would somehow work out that his payment wouldn’t go through after we gave him the money.”

Coworker: “I don’t know; it doesn’t make sense to me.”

(Not even two weeks later…)

Coworker: “A customer just called and asked if we could add a fee to her card when we charge her, then give cash to someone else. Can we do that?”

(I work in a bakery. The customer places her order and I slice and bag her bread. All goes normally.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice afternoon.”

Customer: “It won’t be; I have five boys I have to go home to.”

Me: “Well, I hope it’s not too bad.”

Customer: “I didn’t want kids, but Jesus says we have to have as many as possible.”

(I look at my senior coworker with a WTF look.)

Customer: “Are you married? You should have kids. Jesus says we have to have kids.”

(At this point she starts yelling at my coworker and me that we have to have children. Finally, there is a pause in her ranting and I try to get her out of the store.)

Me: “Have a nice day. See you next time.”

Customer: *shakes her head but finally walks off*

Me: *to coworker* “What was that?”

Coworker: “You have finally met a crazy. We get a few.”