(I work in a local bakery and café that has gelato. Occasionally we’ll have Italian ice cream in stock, but we’ve been out of stock for months, even though it’s still on the menu board. I like to warn customers before they order.)

Customer: *with her daughter* “We’re going to have some of your ice cream.”

Me: *seeing the future* “Just so you know, we only have gelato.”

Customer: “She’ll have a lemon ice.”

Me: *beginning to worry* “Sorry, we’re out of that; all we have is the gelato. “

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *turns to daughter* “Honey, do you want a vanilla custard?”

Me: *weakly, losing hope for humanity* “We only have the gelato…”

(I work in a small bakery with usually one other coworker. The most we do for cake customization is writing on the cake. A lady comes in right when rush hour is starting up.)

Customer: “Can I reserve a cake, but with a chocolate macaroon on it, instead?”

(We don’t normally do this, and many customers are coming in. My coworker says she will call our manager — who is not present —  while I handle the other customers. Not even two minutes after, the lady comes up to me while I’m helping another customer and starts going off.)

Customer: “You people are always slow; this happens every time I come here! Even though I come in first, you never want to help me first. This is ridiculous!”

(My coworker comes out while the lady is yelling and says we can give her the chocolate macaroon.)

Customer: “Finally! It’s about time I got some service.”

(I take her name and number for the reservation and she leaves, looking smug. We handle the rush hour. My coworker then informs me about the lady:)

Coworker: “She came in here before while I was working, noticed the rush hour, and said, ‘Go ahead and help them first; I’ll wait,’ and then screamed at me after for not helping her first!”

(It’s closing time for the day, and I’ve gone through almost the entire closing routine; the remaining bread that wasn’t sold for the day has been picked up by a local homeless shelter, I’ve counted the register, and I’m just in the process of getting a broom for the floor when I hear somebody enter through the door. I look out into the store to see a woman standing by the counter, talking on her cell phone. I watch her for about ten seconds before she looks up from her conversation and sees me.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

Customer: “But your door was open.”

Me: “Oh, I was sure I closed it.”

(The door is old and the lock can jolt back unless you give the door a push when you lock it.)

Customer: “Oh… ’cause your door was open.”

(She starts looking at the empty shelves, the empty glass counter, and the empty bread baskets. There’s nothing left that I can sell her.)

Me: “Well, we’re closed, sorry. We closed half an hour ago, and all the bread and buns have been picked up by a local shelter we donate to, and the register is closed and counted for the day.”

Customer: “Oh… Okay… Because your door was open!” *leaves*

(I lock the door properly behind her.)

Me: *to coworker* “What did she expect me to say? ‘Oh, of course, I was wrong; I thought we closed, but apparently we are open! Let me go and bake a new loaf of bread for you!’”

(I work in a bakery that specializes in Jamaican products. For our wholesale customers, I provide a notice asking them to please call if they are unable to pick up their order. If we do not receive a call, their order will not be saved for them. We have one customer who NEVER comes for his order on the day he says he will, and so far he has received two notices, both of which I witnessed him read.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have your order because it was supposed to be picked up last Saturday.”

Customer: “Oh, it wasn’t for pick up today?”

(Today is Tuesday.)

Me: “No, the invoice here says last Saturday. I can see if I have anything extra that I might be able to get you, but your order was used since you didn’t call.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, I won’t get mad.”

(I’m thinking to myself, “No, you can’t get mad, because I saw you read that notice and you never called, so you have no right to be mad.” I go check to see what I have available.)

Me: “Okay, here is what I was able to get you. I didn’t have any [bread]. Would you like to come for it tomorrow?”

Customer: “Okay, but not tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, when?”

Customer: “The other day.”

Me: “Which other day?”

Customer: “You know, the other day.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *light-bulb goes off in his head* “Wednesday!”

Me: “Okay, sure, no problem. Have a nice day.”

(I work in the bakery of a grocery store. A customer comes and stands at the employee opening to the bakery, holding a half pie he bought the previous day.)

Me: “Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “Is [Coworker] working today?”

Me: “No, she has the day off. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “When does she work next?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t tell you that.”

Customer: *getting agitated* “Why not?”

Me: “It’s against store policy to give out the schedule of employees to anyone. My manager and assist manager are both in today; would you like to speak to one of them?”

Customer: *now angry* Yes.”

(The manager comes down and talks with the customer. The customer takes a new half pie and walks off.)

Manager: “What happened with him?”

Me: “He wanted to know when [Coworker] worked next, and I refused to tell him.”

Manager: “He said you were very rude to him and refused to help him.”

Me: *explains what happened*

Manager: “That makes more sense. Okay.” *walks off*

(I turn around to see the customer hovering by the counter, listening to see if I got in trouble.)

Me: *“Have a nice day.” *smiles at customer and returns to work*

(I found out a week later he called head office to complain about me. Wish I had been a fly on the wall for that call! “That’s nice, sir; here’s a coupon.”)