I work at a toy store, and, as you’d expect, I interact with a /lot/ of kids. I’m usually manning the register, and am usually a kid’s first “spending their own money” experience, so I tend to up my patience/friendliness just for these instances.  

One day, I check out a little boy who is around five or six. I had answered a boatload of questions for him while he shopped; once I gave him his change, he plucked out a quarter and slid it across the counter.

Boy: “And that… is for you.”

Me: “Oh, no, bud, this is your change! You get to keep it!”

He threw his hands up and stepped back from the counter.

Boy: “No, it’s yours! I’m tipping you! Mom, I’m tipping her!”

Mom shrugs apologetically at me.

Me: “Are you absolutely sure? You can put this towards your next visit.”

He started to walk towards the door and called back over his shoulder.

Boy: “You’re welcome!”

It was the best gumball of my career.

I am in the middle of checking a woman out at the registers when the code for a missing child is called. People spring into action blocking doors, and on our walkies, we are given a description of the missing child. I can hear the mom panicking not that far away. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a child matching the description. I apologize to my customer and tell her I am going to step away for a moment. I walk five feet away to ask the child for their name.

Thankfully, the mother who has been nearby hears me asking the kid and comes rushing over, sobbing over the child. The missing child alarm is canceled, and everything is right in the world.

I stepped away from the register for literally around twenty seconds.

Customer: “That was extremely unprofessional, you know.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I am your customer, and I am spending money. Your focus should be on me and not wandering away.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but there was a missing child. A child being potentially kidnapped will always be more important than buying new clothes.”

I’m a self-checkout attendant in a grocery store. I can’t tell you how often this happens.

Customer: *Flagging me down* “Ma’am? Miss?”

Me: “Hello! Do you need any help?”

Customer: “It said to take my card out and I’m ready to pay, but nothing’s happening!”

I reach towards the screen and hit the big, glowing, animated PAY button, and the machine immediately starts to process the payment.

Customer: “…”

Me: “Do you need any more help today?”

Customer: *Sheepish* “No, I’m okay. Thank you.”

Sometimes I’ll give a short spiel about how many people make that mistake and how the register and card reader don’t communicate until they hit the pay button to try to make them feel better, but sometimes I don’t have time. It’s always a little funny to see their mild embarrassment.

I am working as a cashier. A guy in his mid-thirties comes in wearing an “Avengers” T-shirt.

Me: “So, are you excited about the Avengers movie?”

He looks at me like I’m stupid.

Customer: “Uh, no? Should I be?”

Me: “Oh, I thought you must be a fan since you’re wearing an Avengers T-shirt.”

Customer: “Oh. No, the last X-Men movie I saw was Green Lantern.”

I didn’t bother correcting him. It was obvious he had his own problems to deal with.

I am a cart attendant but backup as a cashier if it gets busy. One day, these two full school buses pull up with a bunch of high schoolers. This is far from the norm, and I’m still not sure why they went out of their way to come to our store.

I get called in because there are now a ton of high schoolers waiting in line to check out and get back on the bus. I come in from outside, jump on a register, and wait on my manager to bring over the cash bag since this is the first time we have used this register today.

Me: “Apologies for the wait.”

I hear this one dude whisper:

Customer: “Oh, great. We got the slow cashier.”

I make eye contact, and he knows I heard him. He just smirks.

My manager shows up shortly afterward and hands me the bag, filled with nothing but coins, as the bills are already underneath the removable tray — but they don’t need to know that. I start checking people out, and I finally get to this guy; he’s only about third in line, and he’s paying cash. Everyone else up to this point has paid with a card.

I ring up his stuff. It’s something like $7 and he pays with a twenty.

I proceed to give him his change in all quarters. He gives me an “Are you f****** serious?” look.

Customer: “Can I have some bills instead of just quarters?”

Me: *Putting on my fake customer service voice* “Sorry, I only have coins right now. You can wait for my manager to come back with the bills if you want, though.”

He declined, grabbed his receipt, and walked toward the doors, clearly annoyed that he just got about $13 in just quarters. Only then did I pull out the stack of bills from their hiding place and continue checking people out as normal.

I got a few snickers from the group immediately afterward, but no one sold me out to him when he turned around and asked, “What’s so funny?”

I can only imagine how annoyed he got when he found out that other people after him got bills back instead of just coins.

Be nice to retail workers, people! They got enough crap to deal with and don’t need your BS commentary on how they do their jobs!