I’m cashiering on a register that holds all the smokes and alcohol. It’s 10:00 pm, and two men in their early twenties come up to the counter. They have three random novelty items; it’s strange and unusual to get odd items this late at night, but maybe it is for some fraternity, I don’t know. It’s a college town, so I get weird stuff from frats a lot.

I scan the items.

Me: “Your total is $22.14.”

Grinning at each other, they reach into their jackets and slam down two-gallon Ziploc bags, full of only pennies. I stare them in the eye, but they don’t even look back at me. Everyone else in line groans and goes to other registers. These two kids know what they’re doing, but they don’t know what they’re in for because I am prepared for this; I knew this was going to inevitably happen.

I grin with them because I am gonna get paid during this no matter what happens.

Me: “Is this $22.14?”

Ringleader: “…”

Me: “Did you count it?”

Ringleader: “Nope.”

Me: “Are you going to?”

Ringleader: “Nope.”

Me: “Is it at least $22.14?”

Ringleader: “Don’t know.”

Me: “Nice.”

My coworker tries to “save” me.

Coworker: “Hey! You guys can use the self-checkout. It can take all of your coins at once.”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry about it, [Cowor]—”

Ringleader: “Nope, I don’t trust them, lady.”

His partner laughs.

Coworker: “What? Why?!”

Ringleader: “Doesn’t count all your change right.”

Coworker: “I’ve used them before. It really works!”

Me: *To [Coworker]* “I got this.”

I unpack the Ziplocs and throw all the pennies on the counter. It’s a beautiful, massive s***storm of a mess. I start digging into it; I am Frank in a dumpster in “It’s Always Sunny”. The two, still avoiding my gaze, start chuckling as if they are taking away my dignity. They whisper to each other, “Dude, oh, my God,” “Dude, yeah,” “Dude, hilarious,” etc.

I count each penny, one by one. My coworker comes up to me.

Coworker: “Guess I’ll help you count this.”

Me: “Don’t worry about it.”

She looks at me, confused. Then, she puts on her “get down to business” look.

Coworker: “I got your back.”

Me: “Oh… Okay.”

We work up a system where we count the pennies into stacks of ten, and then put them into piles of ten to make a dollar. We make progress slowly but surely. Some customers come to the line, but we advise them to try another line. Some of them look confused, but when they see the counter full of pennies, they understand. Another register in the liquor department opens, so it isn’t too bad for other customers.

We get to about $12, about ten minutes in, and then I “accidentally” knock over the piles.

Me: “Oops. Sorry.”

My coworker looks at my grin. I give her a wink and tilt my head, motioning her to leave.

Coworker: “You know what? I think I’d better let you do this.”

Me: “Ha, all right.”

My coworker leaves. I look at the two guys. They are absolutely stunned at the fallen piles of pennies.

Me: *To the ringleader* “Yeah, I’m going to have to count all of this again.”

Ringleader: “…Okay.”

I start from zero. I count slower than ever and make my way back up. The duo is entirely silent. I get to about $7.

Me: “Drats. I lost count. I’d better start all over again.”

Ringleader: “Really?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Man…”

Ringleader: “Why?!”

Me: “I lost count, sir. I could be in trouble if my register doesn’t have the right amount of cash, and I don’t want to rip you off.”

Ringleader: “…”

It’s about half an hour later. My manager walks past and looks at me. I smile at him, he looks at the counter, and he walks away without a word.

I eventually count all the change, and surprisingly, they have only $18!

Me: “Hmm, I think that this is $18.”

The duo has been dead silent. They look done for the night.

Me: “I’ll recount it.”

I f****** recount it.

Me: “I think this is actually $19.25.”

Without a word, the ringleader whips out a $5.

Me: “Seriously? You had cash?”

Ringleader: “Needed to get rid of my change.”

Me: “No problem. I’ll just recount this again. I want to make perfectly sure that this is $19.25 since I counted $18 the first time.”

Ringleader: “Are you kidding me?”

I shook my head no, completely serious.

The ringleader took a twenty-dollar bill straight out of his pocket and threw it at me. Internally, I died because they were smart enough to have a backup plan, and the fact that he was touching his cash in his pocket the entire time kinda messed with me.

I took the cash, did the transaction, gave him his change, thanked him, and wished them a good night. The two started to put their pennies back in the Ziploc bags, and I didn’t help them at all. I watched them just as they had watched me.

Lots of pennies dropped to the floor, but they didn’t care to pick them up. It looked like their souls had been sucked out of them.

Related:
In For A Penny, In For A Whole Bunch Of Pennies

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I work in a larger newsagency in a shopping centre in Australia. It is a Saturday, and there is a very large lottery jackpot being drawn tonight, upwards of $120 million AUD. We have all three registers at our lottery counter open, which is a very rare occurrence, and have scheduled extra staff to deal with the huge number of people buying tickets today. The line for the lottery counter wraps the entire way around the store and down a few aisles.

Me: “Hi, who’s next, please?”

Customer: “Hi. Can I please have five $20 quick-picks for tonight’s draw?”

Me: “Sure, no worries.”

I print them for him.

Me: “That comes to $100. Was that cash or card today?”

Customer: “Cash, please.”

He pulls a giant bag of silver coins out of his bag and starts pulling out a handful of coins to start counting them.

Me: “Absolutely not.”

Customer: “What, why?! It’s legal tender.”

Me: “Are you serious? I’m not accepting that.”

Customer: “But why?! You have to take it!”

Me: “I do not. Aside from the fact that I legally only have to accept up to $5 worth of coins, have you looked around? All of these people are waiting, and no one has time to wait for you to count out your coins and for me to then double-count them to confirm you have paid the correct amount.”

Customer: “But you could just—”

Me: “No. Either find some notes, pay by card, or get out of the store.”

He complains, but he pulls out a card and pays while staring daggers at me.

Me: “Thank you, and have a nice day!”

Next Customer: “Was that guy for real? What an a**hole!”

I was at a rather popular big-name retail store looking to get a game that had been released that day. I had to wait for the sole cashier at the store’s electronics department to be finished with a couple of customers before they could get me the game from behind a locked glass door and then ring me up. All of a sudden one of the customers decided to get on his phone for… too long.

The cashier noticed me and told me to wait a minute, which I was willing to do because stuff happens. They must have noticed my patience for the customers was starting to run thin, as they put the customers’ order aside, got the game I wanted out, canceled their order after informing them they were on the phone and holding up the line for too long, and then rang me up.

To that cashier: you didn’t have to do that, but kudos, and if you’re reading this, I hope you’re having a good day.

Our store lost power for a few minutes, and our systems are powering back up. The lines at the checkout are waiting patiently, as they know it’s not our fault. Well, most of them…

A customer near the back of the line pipes up.

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I insist you serve me first!”

Me: “Everyone has been inconvenienced, sir. We’ll be starting the line up again in just a moment.”

Customer: “Yes, and when you do, you should serve me first!”

Me: “Everyone has to wait, sir.”

Customer: “That’s not fair!”

Me: “Sir, these people have been waiting longer than you.”

Customer: “That’s different!”

Me: “And why is that, sir?”

Customer: “Because they’re not me.”

I am coming back from my break and have to pass the self-checkout station. The clerk on duty sees me and calls me over to help her with a customer.

Clerk: “This is [My Name]. She works in that department, so she might be able to answer your questions.”

Customer #1: *Holds up a wooden thing* “Yeah, what is this, and how much is it?”

I am holding back a giggle, not because she doesn’t know what it is but because she wants to buy it.

Me: “That is actually for store use only. It’s to hold up the dishes for display.”

Customer #1: “Well, it was in the clearance section.”

Me: “That was probably because we had clearance dishes on it at one point and they’ve all been sold.”

Customer #1: “…Oh.”

She handled it pretty well. That is not always the case.

I am not in any type of boss-like position, but we have a night where there is no boss. Since I have worked there the longest, the responsibility falls on me. I am doing a walkthrough, seeing if anyone needs to go on break before I start my next project when a customer stops me.

Customer #2: “Hey, can you do a price check on this for me?”

He holds up a round container.

Me: “Oh! Actually, that is not for sale. It’s an item used for display.”

Customer #2: “But I want it.”

Me: “I know, I’m sorry. But it’s just the thing that holds the items we are selling.”

Customer #2: “The customer is always right, so you have to sell it to me.”

Me: “…I can’t. It’s not in our system because it’s not something we sell. It’s for store use only. I’m sorry. We sell similar things over here, though.”

Customer #2: “No, this one was on the sale table, so you have to sell it to me.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

The customer stares at me for several silent moments.

Me: “…Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, you can get me the barcode so you can sell this to me.”

Me: *Takes the item* “No. Have a nice day.”

Customer #2: “You can’t tell me no! The customer is always right! Get me the person in charge!”

Me: “Unfortunately, that is me tonight. Have a good night.”

And I walked off with the item while he cursed me out. Being able to tell a jerk “no” felt awesome!