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It’s Changed Since My Gay

| Friendly | August 25, 2015

(Overheard from outside, are a bunch of kids (roughly 14?). They are being super loud:)

Kid: “Gay! Gay! Gay!”

Older Kid: “Hey! Not cool, man. Gay ain’t an insult, s***-head! Penalty box!”

Kid: “I’m sorry! I won’t say it again!”

Younger Kid: “Okay, but if you do I’m kicking you in the foot and you get DOUBLE penalty!”

(They all go back to playing ball.)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Troi Again

| Friendly | May 6, 2015

(The walls between apartments are a little thin, but not so much that we can hear every little thing in the neighboring apartments. Sometimes my neighbor has the volume up a bit too high on their TV and one day I happen to realize we’re watching the same show. This happens part-way through the episode.)

Neighbor: *yelling, possibly without realizing it* “I know that voice! What’s her name!?” *swears and repeats the question*

Me: *yelling a little so they can hear me* “The lady talking to [Character]?”

Neighbor: “Yeah!”

Me: “It’s that gal from [90s Cartoon], right?”

Neighbor: “Yeah!”

Me: “Marina Sirtis!”

(There’s a pause; I assume the neighbor is checking it.)

Neighbor: “I KNEW IT.”

Climbing The Stairs Of Unreason

| Related | May 6, 2015

(My dad is a bit overprotective, and he has come with me to look at apartments. He has been trying everything he can to keep me from moving out.)

Rental Agent: “So, this apartment is about 800 square feet: one bed, one bath, with a balcony.”

Dad: “Wait, it’s on the second floor?”

Me: “I prefer to be on the second floor, actually.”

Rental Agent: “Yes, it’s nice not to have anyone above you. Plus you have vaulted ceilings.”

Dad: “But all those stairs!”

Me: “Dad, stairs are good! Great workout.”

Dad: “But… what if you meet a guy, and he takes you skiing, and you break your leg?!”

(The rental agent and I were both speechless. For the record, I’ve never skiied, nor have I ever expressed a desire to do so!)


This story is part of the Overprotective Parents roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Stories About Parents Who Are Going To Get Their Children Killed

 

Read the next Overprotective Parents Roundup story!

Read the Overprotective Parents roundup!

Losing The Niceties Of Self-Importance

| Right | February 27, 2015

(My job is to sit at the front desk, a kind of helpful concierge, transferring calls, accepting packages. I am there to let people know that the company cares about their problems, and that there’s a human manning the lobby for security.)

Me: “Hello, welcome back.”

Young Man: *flings up his arm* “Don’t talk to me! I’m important!”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I won’t do that again.”

An Emerging Emergency

| Right | January 27, 2015

(A tenant was upset that she had called the maintenance emergency number at midnight on a Saturday night, and they did not respond immediately. She came into my office the following Monday morning to explain her ’emergency.’)

Tenant: “I had a leak from my bathtub faucet. I put a bucket in the bathtub to catch the leak. It got worse and the bucket overflowed. Don’t you consider that an emergency?”

Me: “Did the overflow go down the bathtub drain?”

Tenant: “Yes.”

Me: “Did any water leak outside of the bathtub?”

Tenant: “No.”

Me: “No, we do not consider a leak contained in the bathtub as an emergency.”