(This happened a couple of summers ago. It had been a wet and warm summer, so the mosquitoes had been abnormally bad. So, when a young two-and-a-half-year-old boy come through my lane I tried to make conversation…)

Me: “Hi there, buddy!”

Boy: *big smile* “Hi!”

Me: “Looks like some mosquitoes bit ‘cha.”

Boy: “Yeah! Here…”

(He points to a bite on his arm.)

Boy: “Here…”

(He points to another bite on the same arm.)

Boy: “Here…”

(He points to yet another bite on the same arm.)

Boy: “And here!”

(The last bite is on his middle finger, which he shows me by flipping me off.)

Both the mother and me: *laughing hysterically*

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(I am working at a daycare and eating my lunch while the kids are having nap time. One of the kids, a two-year-old girl, has woken up early this day.)

Child: “[My Name] drinking Diet Pepsi?”

Me: “Yep, I’m drinking a soda.”

Child: “Daddy drink Diet Pepisi.”

Me: “Daddy drinks Diet Pepsi?”

Child: “Yeah.”

Me: “[Child’s Name] doesn’t drink Diet Pepsi, right?”

Child: “No, [Child’s Name] drink juice. Daddy drink Diet Pepsi. Momma drink wine.”

Me: “Momma drinks wine?”

Child: “Uh, huh. Momma drink wine. Momma drink a LOT of wine.”

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(It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

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(I am a customer shopping through DVD sales on Black Friday. A young boy runs up to look as well.)

Boy: “Look, Dad! Star Wars!”

(The boy picks up the movie and looks closer. It is Episode 2, with Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman on the cover.)

Boy: “Wait. This isn’t the real Star Wars. What is this? Hey, Dad, why are they pretending to be Star Wars?”

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(I work as a cashier at a popular retail store in a town that is near Amish and Mennonite communities. It is not unusual to see them around town.)

Boy: “Look, Mommy! It’s Abraham Lincoln!”

(Confused, his mother and I look where he is pointing and see an Amish gentleman standing off to the side looking a bit out of place. At this point, both his mother and I are having a hard time keeping a straight face.)

Me: “No sweetie. That’s not Abraham Lincoln. He’s Amish.”

(The little boy gasps and his eyes widen in disbelief. He leans forward and whispers to me.)

Boy: “You mean, he’s allowed in here?”

Me: “Of course he is! This store welcomes everyone’s money!”

(The little boy stares at the man, shocked, as I finish ringing up his mother’s purchases.)

Boy: *as they’re leaving* “Bye, Mr. Lincoln!”

This story is part of our Presidents Day 2024 roundup!

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