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23 Stories About Wine, And The Customers Who Shouldn’t Be Drinking It

| Right | June 14, 2020

Dear readers,

It’s Sunday! A perfect day to relax, have a glass of wine (if you’re old enough!) and relax to these specially selected 23 stories from our archives. Note how they have a hint of ignorance, a bouquet of arrogance, and a finish of sharp hilarity.


If You’re Rude, You Get Screwed –  This story is a real corker!

Raisin Wine Awareness – Their knowledge on the subject is not grape.

Momma Likes To Wine And Whine – Careful, kids are like sponges. They’ll soak up all that wine.

Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet, Part 2 – Whoever comes up with the best ‘alternative’ wine names in the comments wins!

Getting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 3 – Mmm, I am detecting notes of canal water!

The Fine Wine Between Pleasure And Pain – Maybe the universe is giving them a sign?

We Can See Through Your Whine – They should just go malbec where they came from.

This Side Uppity – Learning French, one wine at a time.

Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar – It’s what the terrorists drink.

… And This Is Before He Got Buzzed – The same people who think chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

I Like My Italians Color-Coded, Too – The more you read this, the worse it gets.

You’re Only As Old As You Act – This is totally adorable, and deserves a glass of wine in applause.

Is That A Pinot Noir In Your Pocket… – Endowed with a strong sense of justice!

Cash For Baby Bumpers – This wine took years to make and your child ruined it in seconds… PAY UP!

No Wonder He’s Always Stuffed – No harm in having a real conversation.

Free Cop Holder With Drink – They think the loophole is big enough to fit a wine glass through – but nope!

In A (Lone Star) Drunken State – But… but… Texas!

How To Ensure A Blanc Stare – This one has aged beautifully.

Sounds Like They’ve Had Too Many Bottles Already – They should move on to holy spirits.

Picking On Pockets – Waitresses have seen it all, so don’t even bother going toe to toe with one.

Should Have Heard It From The Grape Vine – I love cooking with wine, sometimes it even ends in the food! Fnar fnar fnar!

No ID, No Idea, Part 7 – This customer’s brain is corked.

The Grapes Of Telepaths – Just give them milk and be done with it!


We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories! Know any that we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to submit your own story? Do it here!

Stay safe, everyone!

Have you been enjoying our roundups? Check out more here to see if you’ve missed any!

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