Accents Aren’t Horrible, People Are

(Due to family issues, I moved around every few years when I was younger so I don’t really sound like I’m from anywhere. Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of American and Canadian shows and I have a fair few American friends, so sometimes I can unintentionally talk with an American twang. Customers often ask where I’m from and are very surprised when I tell them the UK. I try my best to smile about it but I can often get very self-conscious about how I’m talking.)

Me: “Hello there. How can I help?”

Customer: *looking at me suspiciously* “Yeah… Can I have a popcorn combo?”

Me: “Regular or large?”

Customer: “I want someone else to serve me.”

Me: *panicking that I’ve accidentally insulted him in some way* “I’m sorry; is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your voice is too weird. I don’t want you serving me.”

Me: “Too weird?”

Customer: “I want someone else to serve me.”

Me: “Are you having trouble understanding me? I’m sorry. I’ve been told I can be hard to understand sometimes.”

Customer: “Just get someone over here who talks normal so I can get my d*** popcorn.”

(I am the only person on this area, so there is no one else to serve him, and we’ve got a popular film about to go in so we’re expecting a rush any minute.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The only other place you can be served by someone else is over there.” *pointing to nearby area that also serves everything I do*

Customer: *angrily* “F***’s sake! Just get me my food, and don’t talk to me while you do it!”

(I’ve had enough and honestly don’t feel like talking anymore at this point, so I just finish the transaction as quickly as I can and in silence.)

Customer: *having paid* “Get yourself one of those d*** speech therapists!” *storms off*