This took place in the summer of 1975. At the time, my sons were nine and seven, and they were in the Cub Scouts. Like most kids, they quickly made friends with the other kids, and as a dad, I made friends with the other dads that volunteered. Most of us got along well with the families except for [Mother] and her son.

[Mother] was extremely clueless about her own son and basically refused to parent him. She was more into the lifestyle of a mom, being in mommy groups, and spending her husband’s money rather than being a good parent to her son. The dad was a good person but worked a lot so he was absent. Their nine-year-old son, [Kid] was a NOTORIOUS BULLY. He was overly aggressive, he hit other children, he stole items, and he was extremely disrespectful toward other adults. When the other parents brought this up, [Mother] would make constant excuses for him.

Mother: “He’s just a boy! He’s just expressing himself! Your kids started it!”

What made it worse was that [Mother] would pacify her son’s behavior with sweets, toys, and other things that he wanted.

Because of this, the other parents and I didn’t invite [Mother] and her son to events that took place outside of Scouts. [Mother] would often call our home about getting sleepovers or having her son play with our kids, which we were adamant about not happening. If we didn’t give in, she said:

Mother: “You’re bullying my son by excluding him! How could you do that to a child?!”

She also threatened to call the governor for discrimination because she’s a baptist.

In late June, the other parents and I were talking about a beach trip to Santa Cruz and bringing our families with us. We talked through everything among the ten other moms and dads, planning this out. [Mother] must have overheard what we were saying.

Mother: “Can you take my son with you? I have to do something with my husband.”

Me: “What?! Where?”

Mother: “To Santa Cruz.”

Me: “Uh, no. You and your son are not invited. This a friends-only trip.”

Kid: “You’re a big meanie!”

He kicked me in the leg and ran away.

Mother: “Look what you did! Child hater!”

She chased after him.

Because this was a big trip, we decided to go shopping and hit the road on Friday. We had to do lots of shopping in bulk to reasonably feed twelve adults and eighteen kids.

My wife and I, along with four other parents, were watching the cars and keeping the kids occupied. For a brief moment, I turned my attention to my car to turn the air conditioning up cause my kids said that they were hot.

I turned back around and [Kid] was there with his bag and [Mother] was peeling out in her station wagon. We are all just in shock, asking ourselves, “Is this really happening to us?”

The boy’s mother had given him a note that listed his allergies and an emergency phone number. We called — no answer. We couldn’t leave the kid there alone and we were not going to bring him with us, so we opted to call the police. We put the kid in the car to keep him out of the sun, and we made the call. We report [Mother] for the abandonment of her child. They sent an officer out in about fifteen minutes.

As the other parents and I were heading back to the cars to wait for the police, we saw that [Kid] was pulling my four-year-old daughter’s hair. The reason why? The kids had some snacks in the cooler and didn’t want to share them with [Kid]; he didn’t ask them nicely, just demanded that they give him food.

As we ran toward the cars, ten of the boys pulled [Kid] off of my daughter and started to BEAT HIS A**! Now, the kids had two years of rage toward this kid bottled up inside, so what took place wasn’t surprising.

By the time we got there and broke up the fight, [Kid] was bleeding and crying. He called us all mean and started cussing us out and hitting things.

Kid: “I want to go on the trip! I want to go on the trip! I want to go on the trip now!”

He kept parroting this over and over again until I yelled at him to shut up, which only made him cry more. Now, I will admit I was probably in the wrong here. Maybe I should have extended some compassion, but my child was crying and being harassed.

The police arrived soon after and we explained what had happened.

The police took [Kid], and apparently, he was dropped off at his father’s job. [Mother] received a child neglect charge. When she saw that our kids had beaten [Kid] up, she tried to charge our kids for assault. It was dropped because it was self-defense.

I work in customer service and handle all the returns. One slow night, a woman comes in to return a 13″ MacBook Pro. Normally, returning laptops isn’t a big deal as long as they’re within the return policy of thirty days. While making the usual small talk, I glance at her receipt and see that she bought it about a month and a half ago. Okay, now we can only return or exchange it if there’s something defective with it.

Me: “I’ll put in the register that it’s defective and see if the system will let me return it; some companies make us send their products to the service center before they’ll authorize the return.”

As soon as I say this to her, she starts freaking out.

Customer: “You mean I won’t be able to exchange this right now?!”

Me: “I don’t think so, ma’am. What’s wrong with it, exactly?”

Customer: “I got a link in an email that went to a website where some really mean-looking guy’s face took over my screen and started saying satanic messages, and now my computer is acting all funny, so he must have given me a bug!”

I assure her that that’s very unlikely while browsing around on her computer, which is working fine. She starts yelling.

Customer: “But that’s what happened! How dare you call me a liar?! I have to have this laptop for work to access my work email! This defect is already costing me money!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but as your computer is outside the return policy, we can’t return it.”

Customer: “SO, I MIGHT AS WELL SMASH THIS COMPUTER TO PIECES ON YOUR COUNTER?!”

Me: “It’s well within your right to do so, but then you definitely won’t get your money back.”

She just stares at me. I finish putting it into our system, and lo and behold, it won’t let us return it without sending it to our service center first. Cue epic freakout. I call my supervisor over while this woman starts crying hysterically about how this isn’t her fault, she just wants her money back, that scary mean face gave her a bug, we’re so evil, etc.

The general manager of the store comes and takes over, along with the supervisor of tech support. They both examine the laptop and determine that there’s nothing obviously wrong with it and tell the woman the same thing: we have to send it to service before we can exchange it.

She starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs.

Customer: “This is bulls***! You’re f****** me over! You’re not giving me any f****** choice here!”

Customers were now wandering up from the very back of the store to see WTF was going on. The woman screamed something about threatening us with a gun, which is when my general manager motioned to the supervisor to call the cops. Being that this is Montana, there was a good chance that she DID have a gun — or at least easy access to one. She kept screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs and added in that she had cancer and we were killing her.

The cops showed up, patted her down, and hauled her away.

Years back, at a store where I used to work, I had a customer I’ll call Lambchop Larry. He was an older gentleman who loved lamb. When it was on sale — maybe once every four to six weeks — he would happily ask me for fresh, custom cuts of lamb chops, which I would do for him.

Unfortunately, when the lamb was at its normal price, he would throw a fit. He would shout about how ridiculously expensive it was, sometimes causing a scene where even his friends and other customers would tell him to calm down. He would demand I reduce the price or give him a coupon, and every time, I stood firm with a “No”. Usually, my store director would have to come down, and thankfully, he had my back and wouldn’t give in, but aside from not getting a discount, Larry faced no real consequences.

Time passed, and I was transferred to another store, but I kept in touch with many of my coworkers. I ended up hearing of the time Lambchop Larry went too far.

The store had a live lobster tank out on the sales floor near the deli counter. There were several signs telling customers not to put their hands in the tank and to ask a clerk for help. As anyone who’s worked in a grocery store can tell you, most people lose their ability to read as soon as they walk in, and Lambchop Larry was no exception.

Elbow-deep in the cold, salty water, he was grabbing each lobster he could. A deli clerk asked him to take his hands out. Surprisingly, he obliged, but he had a mischievous smirk on his face. Larry then took a few steps to a large barrel of pickles that customers could buy individually. He opened the barrel and stuck his lobster-water-soaked hands into the brine.

The clerk immediately called the store director, who had now had enough of Larry’s antics. All of the pickles had to be thrown out, the barrel had to be completely decontaminated, and Larry was kicked out and banned from the store for a year.

Years later, I still shop there sometimes, and I have yet to hear about any further incidents with Lambchop Larry. I would like to think he’s learned his lesson.

I’m a professional, dressed in a suit and tie. As I’m a bit over six feet tall, I’m often asked to get things off the upper shelves for shorter shoppers when I’m shopping. If asked nicely — 99.9% do ask nicely — I’m glad to help. That .1%, though…

I have just gotten off work, and I need to buy groceries for the week. A grandmotherly-looking lady who’s maybe 4’10” asks me if I’d please get something she couldn’t reach. She is very sweet, and once I’ve gotten her item, she thanks me and goes on her way.

At that point, a man who’s maybe 5’2″ yells at me from halfway down the aisle.

Man: *Rudely* “Come get this [item] for me!”

He makes it sound like an order — no please or anything. I ignore him. This pisses him off, so he gets louder and begins cursing very loudly. I walk past him, just doing my shopping and ignoring his outburst.

Man: “Hey, dumbs***, I’m talking to you!”

I stop.

Me: “You need to lower your voice.”

Man: *Even louder* “You helped her; now f****** help me!”

Me: “She was nice and polite. You’re a jerk, so no.”

Man: *Now screaming* “I WANT YOUR MANAGER!”

I break up laughing.

Me: “When did this store’s employees start wearing suits?”

People are watching at this point. I start to walk away, but this jerk grabs my arm and tries to pull me around.

Sadly, I have a severe case of PTSD from a situation when I was a teen. I spin around and punch him his the face; I don’t mean to, but it’s a reflex to being bullied. He goes down, bleeding from his now broken nose.

People start rushing over. I’m beside myself, saying I’m sorry. The man gets up screaming about having me arrested.

I guess someone called the cops or they were already in the store as they appear in what seems like seconds.

Man: “This guy just walked up and punched me!”

A couple dozen witnesses tell the officers what really happened. One officer goes to watch the security video and comes back.

Officer: *To me* “Would you like to press charges for assault?”

Then, the guy freaked out and took a swing at a police officer. He was arrested for assault, assault against a law enforcement officer, and public vulgarity. I didn’t even know there was a law about that last one.

I found out at the trial that this was his fourth time being arrested for similar offenses and that he’d been banned from four other stores in the area. As a repeat offender, he received six years in state prison and to $10,000 fine.

Years ago, I worked at one of the first big box hardware stores. I worked at the service desk for a while and saw all sorts of crazy people.

One time, a guy was trying to make a return, and the front-end manager just kept telling him no. This made him unhappy, so he picked up one of the plastic signs sitting on the counter and clocked her in the head with it.

Then, he ran off. The lumber department supervisor just happened to be in the front end and tackled him at the doorway. Dave was a big guy. I’m sure this customer regretted his actions.