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Didn’t Pick Up The Name At The Pickup

, , , , | Right | May 26, 2020

My store offers curbside pickup for groceries. The customers have to tell us their names through the call box before we bring their groceries out. I get a call for a delivery.

Me: “Hi, can I get the last name for pickup?”

The customer is garbled because his loud truck is running, but I’m able to hear the ending.

There are two names with that specific ending at this point. However, I just spoke to one of these two customers and she said she was on her way over. For our purposes, let’s say the two names are Johnson and Williamson.

Me: “Was that Williamson?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be right out.”

I grab the groceries and the card reader and head out to meet the customer. Every single bag has the customer’s name clearly labeled in large, bolded, capital letters. By the time I get out to the car, pushing out the cart of groceries, the customer has turned the truck off and is waiting outside the vehicle for me.

Me: “Hi, Mr. Williamson?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, your total is $226.52.”

Customer: “All right.”

He hands me a credit card.

Customer: “Can I start loading?”

I notice the name on credit card.

Me: “Um, wait. Are you picking up for Williamson or Johnson?”

Customer: “Johnson.”

The customer notices Williamson on the tags finally.

Customer: “Wait, are there two Johnsons?”

Me: “No, there’s not. I thought you said Williamson, so I grabbed that order. I’ll be right back with your order.”

I get that maybe he couldn’t hear me over the truck the first time I asked, but the truck was off the second time I asked. How unobservant are you that you don’t notice your last name suddenly has, like, five extra letters and an extra syllable, and starts with a different letter of the alphabet? Especially after you look at it?

Final Destination: The Ride

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

One of the more popular rides in the theme park where I work has been closed for a considerable amount of time due to maintenance issues. 

Customer: “So, we can’t ride [Roller Coaster] today?”

Me: “Not unless you wish to die.”


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The Brain Cannot Exist On Salad… Clearly

, , , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

I’m on register when a customer comes through my line. One of her items is a container of salad from the salad bar. I put it on the scale, punch in the code, and move it off to the side to be bagged.

Customer: “Wait, I thought the salad was $7.99 a pound.”

I glance at the screen, which clearly labels the salad at $7.99 a pound.

Me: “It is.”

Customer: “Then why is it $8.46?”

Me: “You have more than a pound of salad here. $7.99 a pound times 1.06 pounds equals $8.46.”

Customer: “But it’s $7.99 a pound.”

Me: “Yes, but since you have a little over a pound of salad, the total will be a little over $7.99.”

Customer: “But it’s supposed to be $7.99 a pound.”

Me: “It is.”

I point on the screen where it says, “1 large salad, $7.99 at 1.06 lbs,” immediately above the total of $8.46.

Me: “Look, you have 1.06 pounds of salad. Multiply that $7.99, and you get a total of $8.46 for the salad.”

Customer: “But I thought the salad was $7.99 a pound.”

I said nothing and quickly scanned in her remaining items. I don’t know how else I could have explained it to her, especially since the equation was printed on her receipt. And she kept saying “$7.99 a pound” like she knew it was a weighted item.

Truly Vile Customers Are A Cancer

, , , , | Right | May 17, 2020

I work at a large big box store. It’s early in the morning, and we aren’t terribly busy yet. I notice one customer avoiding another register to come to mine. As I’m checking him out, I discover this isn’t a coincidence as he starts to badmouth a few of my coworkers.

Customer: “I really didn’t want her to ring me up. She has a terrible attitude.”

I look to see who he’s talking about. The coworker in question is known for her exuberance and enthusiastic attitude, even if she pushes the store credit card pretty hard.

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Customer: “Yeah, if I heard she had cancer, I would just laugh so hard.”

He goes on in this vein for a while, and I simply try to ring him up and get him out. To make this worse, I actually know the coworker has health issues and will be taking some time off for them soon. Finally, he’s done and leaves. I turn to the next customer.

Second Customer: “And he’s complaining about someone else’s attitude?”

Me: “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

Complaining So Much You Just Throw In The Towel

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2020

I work for a resort in a very tourist-heavy area. I’m not at the front desk, but I’m basically your dial-zero-and-ask-for-extra-whatever person, and I delegate it out to whomever. 

Guest #1: “Hello, can I please get extra towels, about four?”

This guest is staying in a room where only two people can stay, according to Virginia fire code laws; therefore, they can only get two towels per day without an upcharge. I don’t want to upcharge them, because the guest who’s currently calling has been very polite with me.

Me: “Let me see if I can do that for you. Normally, we can only give two towels a day and others are an upcharge. What’s the reason for needing so many towels?”

Guest #1: “Ah, well, there’s a lot of water on the floor in my bathroom because of my son taking a bath.”

It’s a bulls*** excuse, but it is enough to placate a manager if the need arises, so cool! I’m good!

Me: “All right, no problem. I’ll have them up right away, no charge.”

The call ends. Not two minutes later, the same room calls and I get another guest. She is very rude, very irate.

Guest #2: “How dare you question why I need towels?! It’s my birthday weekend! I live locally and I don’t have to spend all this money to stay. I could just stay home but I chose to come here, and you’re such a horrible person for not giving me customer service! We should have more towels in the room, anyway! You do not want to go there with me!”

I try my best to calm her down, again reiterating that I’m only asking because I admitted that I’m supposed to charge for towels beyond the daily amount, and that we give two towels for her room type because of the Virginia fire code law.

Also, I just want an excuse to cover myself while still providing them towels without charging them. When you work in customer service, you cling to those corporate policy excuses and laws to try to get you off the hook and pray and hope an irate guest understands you are only trying to do your job.

The fire code law sets her off, and she goes on again, this time calling me a b****, saying I’m the worst customer service ever, she wants to speak to my manager, she’ll be on her way downstairs, and it’s none of my d**** business how many people are in her room.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, okay.”

I was not apologizing or trying to defend myself anymore. She commented on how I obviously didn’t care that she was upset — she wasn’t wrong — and called me a b**** again. I honestly believe she was looking for anything to report me on, and I wasn’t giving her the satisfaction. You work in customer service long enough, you learn when s***ty customers are trying to bait you for free stuff and want to use how “rude” you were to them as the excuse.

Finally, I got off the phone and checked her reservation. She was a Groupon customer; she had not spent lots of money AT ALL. Not only that, but she had apparently been absolutely horrible to everyone she’d come in contact with. Yeah, we record in comments and notes under your reservation any time we interact with you if it gets ugly or you had a complaint. This is pretty standard at any resort or major hotel.

She got her karma, though, because I immediately emailed my superiors, explained EVERYTHING, including me trying to get away with not charging her towels and my kindness apparently being what set her off. She had gone downstairs and went off and was given a complimentary dining card to basically shut her up.

Later that night, she got evicted for multiple noise complaints from other guests, playing music way too loud, and smoking weed. Groupon reservations are also non-refundable.

Her room was totally trashed to the point we had to charge her for damages and, of course, the weed smoke in the room; we had to use special machines to get the smell out. We charge on that ALONE $250 for smoke damages.

To be honest with you, it’s normally let go because the paper trail involved is a headache for upper management — incident reports, pictures to be taken, witness statements, etc.

Not for her, though.