Won’t Be Digging Your Nails Into This

, , , | Right | January 6, 2018

(My friend and I are at a nail salon where I am a regular, getting our nails done. We are chatting with the nail technicians when a young girl about four or so comes in with her high school-age sister. They are greeted and go to pick their nail colors. The four-year-old breaks several bottles of nail polish and starts yelling at us to clean it up.)

Four-Year-Old: “Clean it up! Clean it UP!”

(The staff do so, with the four-year-old and her sister glowering. Neither of them says sorry or apologizes. The sister starts getting her tips done, and the four-year-old waits for her. After about ten minutes, their mom shows up. She blazes into the store with her son in a shopping cart, crashing hard into the glass door and nearly breaking it, too.)

Mom: “I understand I owe you for some nail polish that got broken?!”

Staff Member: “Oh, no, it’s fine. It’s okay. No charge.”

Mom: “No, I would like to pay.”

(She goes over to examine her little girl, and notices the several colors of nail polish streaked down her leg. One is glitter pink and one is a deep blood red.)

Mom: “Oh, MY GOD! She CUT HERSELF and you didn’t even do anything?”

Sister: “Yeah, mom, she asked for a bandage and they said NO!”

Four-Year-Old: “Yeah, mom!” *starts to cry*

Mom: “I’m so sorry that she broke your PRECIOUS NAIL POLISH. How could you deny her a bandage, though? You’re more worried about the nail polish than my little girl?!”

(The staff attempt to explain but she does not let anyone finish a sentence.)

Mom: “You bunch of stupid immigrants don’t even speak enough English to know what I’m saying anyway!”

(She wheels out of there and the staff begin speaking quietly to each other in Vietnamese. Mom comes blazing back in.)

Mom: “You have something to say to me? Huh? You can say it to my face; we’re all adults here. Huh?! HUH?!”

(She is screaming and red in the face. Her kids are bawling. Finally I have had enough.)

Me: “Ma’am—”

Mom: “I cannot BELIEVE—”

Me: “MA’AM! Your child did not ask for a bandage. They already said they won’t charge you for the polish she broke.”

Mom: “Of all the nerve! You’re telling me all my kids are lying?”

Me: “Ma’am, no one asked for a bandage. Even if she did, this is not a pharmacy. They’re not obligated to have one. IF she had, I have several and would have given her one. Besides, this is not a daycare. We’re not obligated to watch your child.”

Mom: “Rude. All of you are rude and selfish, and I’m going to sue all of you.”

Me: “Ma’am, this corner of the mall is covered by several security cameras including one right behind your head. We can certainly review the footage.”

(Mom realizes she is beat and wheels out of there, but not before giving us the finger. The employees were very nice and gave me and my friend a 10% discount! Stupid indeed?)

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Just Round Up Or Down

, , , , , , | Learning | January 4, 2018

(I’m in algebra class and we’re learning a rather difficult topic.)

Girl Across the Classroom: “Man, you either get this, or you don’t, and I’m in the middle.”

Me: *facepalms as I realize the impossibility of this statement*

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Unfiltered Story #102688

, , | Unfiltered | January 2, 2018

(It’s a few days before Christmas. My brother is pushing shopping carts in from the parking lot. As he enters, he passes a woman on her way out. She is wearing a Santa hat.)

Brother: “Merry Christmas!”

(The woman spins around and glares at him.)

Customer:  *rudely* “It’s ‘HAPPY HOLIDAYS!’”

Kitted Out For This Situation

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2017

(We have four sizes based on number of scoops: toddler, small, medium, and large. People tend to refer to the “toddler” size as the “kiddie” size, but we know what they mean. A woman and her maybe three- or four-year-old girl come in while I am working with my other coworker.)

Mom: “She will take a kiddie cup, vanilla.”

Me: “All right!”

(I add one scoop to the Styrofoam cup and hand it to the mother, who then hands it to the girl. The girl pouts.)

Little Girl: “Aw, Mommy! I wanted the kitty cup!”

(We all started laughing at the sheer cuteness. My coworker took back the “kiddie” cup and drew a kitty picture on the cup with a sharpie, making it the “kitty” cup she wanted. They were both very pleased, and left a nice tip!)

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Only 51 Days Left!

, , , | Related | December 26, 2017

(I am out shopping with my mom. At the front of the store is the seasonal display. Because Christmas is over, they have pulled all the Christmas stuff off the seasonal display.)

Mom: “NOOOOO!”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “That!”

(I look over and see that the seasonal display is now full of Valentine’s Day stuff.)

Mom: “It’s not right! It’s the day after Christmas!”

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