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Grandfathering In The Discount

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2019

(My father tells me a story of a time he worked for my maternal grandfather in his video rental store which also offers repair services for VHS players. This is back at a time where said players, as well as the tapes, are quite expensive. While my dad is working, a customer comes in to pick up his repaired player, but is outraged when my dad says the price is $30.)

Customer: “I’ll have you know I’m a good friend of Richard—” *my grandfather* “—and I’ll have you fired!”

(This is a dead giveaway, as nobody who actually knows my grandfather calls him Richard; he is known as “Rip.” My grandfather hears the commotion and steps out of the office.)

Grandfather: “What is going on?”

Customer: *angry* “This a**hole is trying to charge me $30 for my repair!”

Grandfather: *calmly* “Oh, well, that a**hole is my future son-in-law. I’ll tell you what; he says $30, I say $50.”

(The customer angrily left the store without paying — or collecting his repaired VHS player — and vowed never to return. My grandfather ended up selling it as used, as according to store policy. The irony is by refusing to pay, the customer would have had to pay hundreds for a new player!)

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

, , , , , | Working | August 13, 2018

I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

Another Titillating Tuesday

, , , , , | Friendly | July 24, 2018

(My husband tells me this story about a friend of his and her dad doing a painting job downtown, repainting the outside of a store front. As they are working, two women come walking down the street, hand in hand, without a stitch of clothing on.)

Friend: *to Dad* “Don’t. Say. Anything.”

(As they walk by, the dad says to the two women:)

Dad: “So, what’s the occasion?”

Ladies: *shrugging* “It’s Tuesday.”

(They continued on their way.)

A Little Dishonesty To Earn An Honest Buck

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2018

(I work at a pretty popular bank in a small city. We’re really focused on good customer interactions, so I greet each and every customer with a smile. On this particular day a father and his three sons walk in and come up to my window.)

Me: “Hi! My name is [My Name]; how can I help you today?”

Man: “Hi! My son, [Son], found this 100-dollar bill on the ground! And I want you to look up who it belongs to.”

Me: “What?”

Man: “You know, the codes on the bills… I want to make sure it wasn’t stolen money or anything like that. Can’t have my kids handling dishonest money! So, yeah, just track it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not able to track a bill. There is no way to find out where it was or who it belonged to.”

Man: “Oh, I see. So, it doesn’t belong to anyone else?”

Me: “Well, it…” *I think hard about whether or not I want to continue to deal with him* “No, it didn’t! It’s all yours!”

Man: “Great! See, [Son]? You have $100 now!”

When Do We Not Need Chicken Nuggets?

, , , , | Romantic | April 30, 2018

What My Husband Said: “Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans.”

What I Heard: “Thank you for putting up with my chicken nuggets.”

(I tell him what I heard.)

Husband: “You need sleep, my wife.”

Me: “Or maybe I just need chicken nuggets.”