A friend owned two adult shops in the same town. One was in a high-end section of town and was set up as a boutique geared towards couples. The other wasn’t in the best part of town and was more of a smut shop. Depending on demand, he would move stock between the stores.

One day, he decided to move some stock from the high-end to the low-end shop. When he got out of his car when he arrived, a bunch of guys stepped out of the shadows, shoved him down, grabbed his bag, and ran away.

The cops later caught up with the guys who apparently thought they were stealing a laptop, but instead found themselves with a large bag full of adult toys!

(My friends and I are on a road trip and we stop to get snacks. The store is bustling, and we go through the self-checkout section, thinking it will be faster as we each just have a drink and a food item, and the lines are long at the staffed registers. These self-checkout registers state at the beginning that they do not provide cash back, and you have to hit a button that says you understand before you can go through with scanning and paying. I check out and then wait on my friend, who is taking an extra long time to ring up her couple of items. After a minute or two, I go over to see what’s taking so long.)

Friend: “It’s giving me an error! All I wanted was cash back.”

Me: “You asked for cash back? Didn’t you see the message at the beginning?”

Friend: “Oh, I saw it had a message, but I just hit okay and didn’t read it.”

Me: *facepalm*

Friend: “Oops.”

(An associate ended up having to come over to clear the message, and then they had to open the machine to pull out the cash back that had been calculated by the machine already. She didn’t seem too happy, but we apologized profusely for being THOSE customers. I’m sure her Saturday had been full of people like us already!)

Related:
Cash Back Attack, Part 5
Cash Back Attack, Part 4
Cash Back Attack, Part 3

(Another cashier has just come to my register to relieve me. The next customer, who is an attractive, older woman, looks up and notices the switch. She is confused.)

Me: *talking to the customer while walking away* “Oh, I’m so sorry, ma’am. You were so close to having the cute cashier.”

(She laughs and rolls her eyes.)

Other Cashier: “Don’t worry; he doesn’t have a personality. You can thank me later.”

(The customer laughed out loud. I blushed and quickly went to clock out. My ego still hurts.)

(I am riding a train to Tennessee for a relative’s wedding. I just got off of a train and I am transferring to another one. My previous train was delayed, so I arrived four hours late. My next train is starting in a few minutes, so I take a ride on a cart to get there faster. Suddenly, an old lady approaches the driver.)

Lady: “Sir, could I please get on? My train leaves in two hours and I would like to be there early.”

Cart Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this young man is already on, and with his luggage, the cart is too full to take another person.”

Lady: “I’m eighty f****** years old! I deserve the cart more than this man!”

Cart Driver: “His train leaves in a minute, ma’am.”

Lady: “Well, I’m old, so I have privileges!”

Cart Driver: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. Your train leaves in two hours. This man’s train is leaving very soon.”

Lady: *starts hitting the driver with her purse* “Who the h*** do you think you are?”

Cart Driver: “Ma’am, I will come back for you. Let me just take this man.”

(He drives away, and luckily, I make it to my train on time. Once I’m on, I see a younger woman approach the driver with the same old lady.)

Younger Woman: “How dare you not take my mother on?! You should be fired!”

Cart Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Younger Woman: “You should be! My mother and I have to make it to our train!”

(As the train left, I felt sorry for the poor guy.)

When I was still in middle school, my mother worked as a principal for an elementary school. When she was employed there, the school used a bus company called “The Little Britches Buses” for the kindergartners to pick them up and drop them off from school, as well as to take them on field trips.

One day, due to a scheduling error the buses ended up running very late, so, as the principal, my mother had to send out an email notifying all the kindergarten teachers of this occurrence. The computer in my mother’s office was a pretty old model, and some of the keys were a bit sticky, especially the R key.  

She was kind of in a rush to get those emails out, so she didn’t notice her mistake until it was too late, and ended up sending an email that read:

“The Little B****es Buses are going to be late today.”

Thankfully, all the teachers either understood her mistake or were laughing too hard for her to get in any trouble.