You Outfit The Description

| Orlando, FL, USA | Working | October 2, 2014

(I’m coming into the park through the backstage area to go to my attraction. I’m in full uniform. A security guard stops me at the gate.)

Security Guard: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “Oh, uh, sure.” *gives him ID*

Security Guard: “We got a call that a guest was walking around backstage and you match the description.”

(Without taking into account that I’m obviously wearing a themed outfit for an attraction, not to mention I JUST handed him my employee ID, he still calls his supervisor.)

Security Guard: “Ah, never mind. Looks like they found her. Have a good day!” *gives me ID back*

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

(He never seemed to realize his mistake!)

Age Gap Trap

| Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | Friendly | September 13, 2014

(I am on a middle school field trip. I am 14 and am noticing boys who I think maybe I could date. At the theme park in the town, there is a guy manning a shop. He looks 16, so not too old for me to flirt with. I should mention I look older at the time because I’m well-endowed. We chat for a bit…)

Me: “So, I’m gonna have to leave soon. We have to meet up with our teachers to get ready to go.”

Guy: “Okay. Can I give you my number?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I take his number and notice there’s other business numbers.)

Me: “Huh? How many jobs do you have?”

Guy: “Oh! I do the photography thing on my own. It’s just a side job.”

Me: “Wait… How old are you?”

Guy: “26. How… How old are you?”

Me: “14!”

Guy: “Oh, my GOD! I thought you were 18 and on a high school trip!”

Me: “Middle School! I thought you were 16! ”

Guy: “Yeah, that happens a lot. I’m so sorry…”

Me: “You’re not the first to think I’m older, too.”

(The man was thoroughly disgusted with himself when he learned my real age! I’d had a friend with me the whole time, who subsequently laughed her butt off.)

Not The Best Way To Manage The Numbers

| Williamsburg, VA, USA | Working | August 9, 2014

(It is my first year working at the amusement park. I am 16 years old. I work hard in the area I was placed in, always show up on time or early, and get along great with my coworkers. Towards the end of the year I get called into the office by my manager.)

Manager: “Ah, [My Name], there you are! You have been a model employee and you work like two of your coworkers combined. Do you plan to come back and work next year?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I really love working here.”

Manager: “Good! Good, I plan to make you the manager next year because I’ve been bumped up to area manager.”

Me: *slightly confused* “But… I’ve only been here for one season and I know [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] have been working here for years! Shouldn’t they have the manager job?”

Manager: *snorting* “They both slack off too much! You work harder than them both! So are you going to take the manager job or not?”

Me: *timidly* “But isn’t there an age requirement for being a manager?”

Manager: “Yes, but it’s only 18, and you’re like 25, so it’s no problem.”

Me: “But… I’m 16… I’ll only be 17 next year.”

Manager: *stares at me blankly for a few seconds before angrily waving me out* “Oh s***, I completely forgot. Get out!”

Me: “Yes, [Manager].”

(I leave and head to the back where my coworkers are waiting.)

Coworker #1: “Did you get into trouble?”

Coworker #3: “I bet she got in trouble.”

Coworker #2: *in a sing-song voice* “She’s in troubleeee!”

Me: “Nah, [Manager] just tried to give me the manager’s position next year.”

(My coworkers’ jaws drop.)

Coworker #1: “Did you take the job?! The pay raise would be awesome! And you’ve only been here a season. That is a hell of a feat!”

Coworker #3: “I wish I was offered that job…”

Me: “I didn’t take it. [Manager] forgot I don’t meet the age requirement.”

Coworker #2: *suddenly goes dead still* “Wait… What do you mean you don’t meet the age requirement?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, aren’t you 21?”

Me: *suddenly very curious* “How old do you all think I am?”

(They all make various guesses between 21 up to 25. I burst into a fit of laughter before collecting myself.)

Me: *still laughing a bit* “Guys, I am 16. I am still in high school!”

Coworker #3: “Oh, s***, man!”

(While the rest are laughing and talking about how they had no clue about my real age Coworker #2 has gone rigid and looks horrified. After a few moments while the rest of us are still chattering he yells out.)

Coworker #2: “Oh, my god! *runs out the back of the building*

(Everyone stops and stares in shock.)

Me: “Wait… How old is [Coworker #2]?”

Coworker #1: “He’s 22.”

Me: “Oh, s***! I thought he was 18!”

(Coworker #2 and I had been flirting with each other almost all year. I thought he was 18, and he thought I was 21. When he realized I was under age he had quite the reaction!)

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(Wed)Locked On Target

| UK | Friendly | August 6, 2014

(My best friend and I have gone together to a theme park in June. It’s a few weeks before schools are due to break up. We are both 25, but my friend is very petite and is frequently mistaken for a 12 year old. When out together, I’ve been mistaken for her mother more than once. Whilst we’re eating a woman walks past and glares at me.)

Woman: *to me* “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “Taking your daughter out of school to take her to a theme park! You can be fined for that, you know, or even jailed!”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you—”

Woman: “And you must have had her when you were a TEENAGER! Teenage pregnancies outside of wedlock! What a disgrace! This country is going to the dogs.”

(She continues on in a similar vein, drawing stares from others around us. I’m opening my mouth to protest again when my friend cuts in.)

Friend: “Oh, for f***’s sake, lady! I’m 25, and so is my friend. I’m not a tween, or a truant, or any of that other crap, and she isn’t a teenage mother! So, how about you go away and let us eat our food in peace!”

(The woman turned very red. She mumbled an apology, and then walked away.)

An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out

| England, UK | Right | July 25, 2014

(I work at a famous English theme park, specifically in the sea life centre. As part of my job I supervise the rock pools where customers can touch and feel starfish, cleaning shrimp, crabs etc. The customer has been standing with his child with his hands in the rock pool for a good ten minutes, despite the queue behind him.)

Customer: “Can these shrimp live out of the water, then?”

Me: “It is quite dangerous for them to be taken out of the water for long, sir.”

Customer: “What about the starfish?”

Me: “They also should be left in the water at all times.”

Customer: “Can my son hold one?”

Me: “He can hold them under the water, sir, but we don’t permit guests taking the sea life away from the water. He can also let the cleaner shrimp clean his hands under the water, but they can’t be taken out either.”

(The customer and his son completely ignore what I just said and grab a starfish, holding it in the air.)

Me: “Sir, I’ll need you to put that starfish back in the water! You really can’t take the sea life out of the water, and although you’re more than welcome to come and queue again the other customers are waiting their turn.”

(The customer mutters to his son while laughing, despite the fact that I can clearly hear them.)

Customer: “Get a shrimp, d***-head!”

(The next thing I know the boy has walked away practically crushing a cleaner shrimp in his hand. It took me and three other co-workers to escort the now swearing man and his not-so-pleasant son out of the sea life centre. And yes, the little boy killed the poor cleaner shrimp.)

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