A Measure Of Common Sense

| UK | Right | December 31, 2014

(My sister and I have taken our younger brother to a popular UK theme park. We see that the queue for the tea cups is very short, so we begin to get in line. Just as we do, we notice a woman at the front of the queue with a small child obviously too small to ride. She’s talking to the ride operator.)

Woman: “So, I walked all the way through the queue, only to be told he’s too small to ride! You twat!”

(As she begins to storm away, my sister sends her a death glare before turning to me.)

Sister: *loudly* “Maybe we should go back and measure [Brother].”

Me: “Why?”

Sister: *still loudly* “Because we don’t want to walk barely a meter only to be told he’s too small to ride. If we don’t want to look like utter idiots, we need to measure him before queuing up.”

Me: *catching on* “Yeah. That’s what anyone with COMMON SENSE would do.”

(The woman, who had been demanding to see a manager, turned bright red before hurrying away with her child. The ride operator gave us both a high five.)

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Different Cast, Same Script

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | November 28, 2014

(When vacationing at this company’s theme parks, I am often asked questions as if I work there, even though I don’t dress or look like their typical employees. It may be just because I plan ahead and look like I know where I’m going. I am walking with my two sons, both of whom are under ten years old. Two 20-something guests approach:)

Guest #1: “Excuse me, which direction does the parade come from?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m not a cast member.”

Guest #1: “Huh? Then what do you do?”

Me: “What?”

Guest #2: “What DO you do for [Theme Park Company]?”

(First and only time I’ve said ‘I’m not a Theme Park cast member,’ yet the guests still thought I MUST still work for the company!)

Your Childhood Just Melted Away

| FL, USA | Related | November 15, 2014

(My mother, my brother, and I are on the ferry to Disney’s Magic Kingdom. In front of us are a woman and her two young children, and an older girl trying to engage the children in a conversation.)

Older Girl: “Who’s your favorite character?”

Child #1: “Olaf! I want to see him when we get there!”

Older Girl: “Well, I don’t know if they have Olaf here.”

Mom: “Yeah, maybe he melted.”

(The two children turn around, wide-eyed. My mom quickly tries to backtrack.)

Mom: “But he’s magic… so he’ll just… un-melt!”

Me: “How did I have a relatively normal childhood again?”

The Longest Year

| Orlando, FL, USA | Working | October 20, 2014

(My parents in America for their honeymoon, and decide to go to the adult only part of a well known theme park.)

Attendant: “I just need to see some ID.”

(My mother proceeds to pull out her passport and show the attendant her date of birth.)

Attendant: “I’m sorry ma’am you aren’t old enough for this attraction. You have to be 21.”

Mother: “But I am 21.”

Attendant: “No, you’re not. According to your passport you won’t be old enough for another few months.”

Mother: “Oh, no, sorry. We’re from England, so the date is reversed. I am old enough.”

Attendant: “I’m not stupid; you don’t really date that way over there.”

Mother: “Yes, we do.”

Attendant: “You’re not fooling anyone. You just want to get in here under age.”

(At this point my father steps in and shows the attendant his passport.)

Father: “In that case would you mind telling me which is the 30th month?”

(The attendant went bright red, and quietly let them in.)

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Fairness Is Limited

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | October 16, 2014

(Customers have the option of buying a single-ride coupon or an unlimited rides ticket. It’s a particularly busy day, and the queue line on my ride is over 45 minutes long. The ride has just finished and most people are exiting, except for two customers.)

Me: “Hey, gentlemen, the exit is out that way, when you’re ready.”

Customer #1: “We’re staying on for another go.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you will have to line up again to ride, especially since it’s so busy.”

Customer #2: “But we have these.” *shows me his unlimited rides ticket* “See, unlimited.”

Me: “Yes, you can go on multiple rides in the park, but you still have to line up every time. It’s only fair.”

Customer #2: “But we have these!”

Me: “As do most of the people in this queue, sir.”

(On cue, most of the guests in the queue started waving their tickets at the pair. They finally left.)

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