An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out

| England, UK | Right | July 25, 2014

(I work at a famous English theme park, specifically in the sea life centre. As part of my job I supervise the rock pools where customers can touch and feel starfish, cleaning shrimp, crabs etc. The customer has been standing with his child with his hands in the rock pool for a good ten minutes, despite the queue behind him.)

Customer: “Can these shrimp live out of the water, then?”

Me: “It is quite dangerous for them to be taken out of the water for long, sir.”

Customer: “What about the starfish?”

Me: “They also should be left in the water at all times.”

Customer: “Can my son hold one?”

Me: “He can hold them under the water, sir, but we don’t permit guests taking the sea life away from the water. He can also let the cleaner shrimp clean his hands under the water, but they can’t be taken out either.”

(The customer and his son completely ignore what I just said and grab a starfish, holding it in the air.)

Me: “Sir, I’ll need you to put that starfish back in the water! You really can’t take the sea life out of the water, and although you’re more than welcome to come and queue again the other customers are waiting their turn.”

(The customer mutters to his son while laughing, despite the fact that I can clearly hear them.)

Customer: “Get a shrimp, d***-head!”

(The next thing I know the boy has walked away practically crushing a cleaner shrimp in his hand. It took me and three other co-workers to escort the now swearing man and his not-so-pleasant son out of the sea life centre. And yes, the little boy killed the poor cleaner shrimp.)

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It’s Scary What They Want Refunds For

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | June 17, 2014

(A woman walks into our haunted house with her 10-year-old son, buying admission for the two of them. After she comes out, she storms over to me, a look of anger on her face.)

Customer: “Refund. Now!”

Me: “Ma’am, as you can see by this sign, we have a strict ‘No Refund’ policy.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I want my money back, and I want it now! I want to speak with the manager of this place.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I am the manager.”

Customer: “Well, then you can give me a refund.”

Me: “Before we take this any further, I’d like to know why you want a refund.”

Customer: “Do you have any idea how bad this place scared my child? He was terrified!”

Me: “Well, in that case, I certainly cannot give you a refund.”

Customer: “Oh? Why’s that?”

Me: “You see, ma’am, this is a haunted house. Our job here is to scare and frighten everyone who comes in here. You said you son was scared when he went in. Then you got what you paid for.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t think it would scare him THAT bad!”

Me: “Then we’ve exceeded expectations.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! You scared a little ten year old boy to death!”

Me: “As I stated, that is our job. It is up to the family of children to decide whether the child should go in or not.”

Customer: “I think it would be up to the workers here to not scare a child who’s coming through!”

Me: “Then they wouldn’t be doing their job, ma’am.”

Customer: “So, I can’t get a refund?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “You should change the policy about refunds, then.”

Me: “I have no power to do that. I’m the manager, but not the owner. And he has told us that if we were to give out refunds, we would have no profit, because people would abuse the refunds right. This is why we can’t do it.”

Customer: “No refund?”

Me: “No refund, sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then I’m NEVER coming back to this place ever again!”

Me: “Okay.”

(The woman looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds before she briskly walked away, murmuring something to herself.)

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A Text In The Wrong Direction

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Right | May 26, 2014

Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

A Hard Ruling

| Tampa, FL, USA | Friendly | May 23, 2014

(In middle school we took a trip to a theme park. I was reading the rules for a ride.)

Me: “Please keep head erect.”

Friend #1: “Wait, what?”

Friend #2: “You know what that means, right?”

Me: “No…” *clicks* “Oh, my god! I did not just say that!”

(We are now in our 20s and I still hear about it.)

Mom Is Getting Into The Swing Of It

| USA | Related | May 2, 2014

(It is Halloween, and my mom and I are going through a haunted house in a theme park.)

Guy With Chainsaw: *suddenly pops up and revs chainsaw at my mom*

Mom: “Aieee!” *swings punch at guy*

Guy With Chainsaw: *dodges* “Hey! No touching!”

Me: “Mom, you’re not supposed to hit the people that work here!”

Mom: “I didn’t hit! I only took a swing!”

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