One of my jobs is taking in email addresses sent in by the clients of a pension fund. Obviously, not every client has an email address. Some people, after all, don’t own a computer, especially some of the elderly. These are some of the replies about this.

Client #1: “I cannot afford an email address on my pension!”

Client #2: “Are you mad? You really think I want a computer? There is so much hacking! Computers can’t be trusted!”

Client #3: “I don’t own a computer! I’m over seventy! Show some respect to elder people!”

I’d say that it would be far more disrespectful to automatically assume that all people over seventy do not own a computer, but who am I to judge?

Related:
Email Fail, Part 34
Email Fail, Part 33
Email Fail, Part 32
Email Fail, Part 31
Email Fail, Part 30

I’m one of those people who often have trouble telling their left from their right. Sometimes I have no trouble at all, but most of the time when someone directs me to the right I go left, and vice versa, with complete confidence until someone calls me back and sets me straight. I’m a little worried about this when I start taking driving lessons, as I’m a perfectionist and have gotten in trouble because of this “handicap”, but thankfully, my driving instructor has a habit of pointing to where he wants me to go. One day, however…

Driving Instructor: “At the next intersection, I want you to turn left.”

He does not point this time. I just say okay and make the requested turn… or so I think.

Driving Instructor: “Okay, you executed that turn very well, but I told you to go to the left, and you turned right instead.”

I start apologizing profusely and manage to stammer that I can’t always tell left from right. I expect the same telling-off I have gotten in the past from teachers or others for “not paying attention,” but instead, he reassures me.

Driving Instructor: “It’s okay; lots of students have trouble with left and right. The point isn’t getting the directions right but driving safely. You can take a wrong turn anytime, even on the exam, and it won’t be a big deal as long as you don’t panic and try to correct in an unsafe way. Every driver makes mistakes, but as long as you don’t endanger yourself or others making them or trying to correct them, it doesn’t really matter. Okay?”

Me: “Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Thanks.”

Driving Instructor: “No problem. That’s why I’m here. Just make sure to mention it during your exam so they know to point the directions, and remember to stay calm. Now, I think this has given us a nice opportunity to practice U-turns, so pick a spot.”

I mulled that speech over for a while, and it really made me less nervous while driving because I realized I didn’t have to be perfect, just safe. That lesson made its way into other parts of my life, as well, and I became much less of a perfectionist, which made my life quite a bit easier. All because I turned right instead of left. Oh, and I passed my driving exam, too.

I’m doing my weekly grocery shop at 8:00 am. I see an older lady doing her shopping and she comes out of the store with a cart, which holds about twelve bottles of wine and nothing else. She ends up in front of the elevator. She walks toward it, goes back, looks at it, and turns around. She spots me and walks toward me.

Customer: “I, eh… don’t know how it works.”

Me: *Confused* “Oh, well… you press that button and…”

Customer: “Oh, but I’ll have no idea where I will end up!”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry, you—”

Customer: “I’ll just take the escalator.”

This escalator is more of a flat surface, so it’s easy to go up with a cart.

Me: “Eh… okay, then, I guess…”

I am confused: first, because she does not seem to know how an elevator works, and second, because I thought she asked for assistance and now she’s completely ignoring me.

I just go up on the escalator and I see the lady again. She needs to go up one more floor, but that floor can either be reached through the staircase escalator or the elevator. She looks a bit… panicked. 

Customer: “I… I have no choice but to take that elevator, right?”

Me: “Yeah, if you need to go up… Let’s press this button for you.”

Customer: “But how will I get out?”

Me: “Don’t worry. See those doors over there? Those will open when you get up. Now, remember, you are at ‘-1’ now, so you will need to press the ‘0’ button, to go up.”

Customer: “The ‘0’?”

Me: “Yes, I know it sounds weird. The grocery store is in the basement, we are now at ‘-1’, the garage, and ‘0’ is the ground surface with all the other stores.

The doors opened and the lady went in. I once again mentioned that she needed to press the ‘0.’ I could have joined her, but confined small spaces worry me. I hurried up the other escalator, and when I got up, the doors opened and the lady walked out. She acted like nothing was amiss. She even seemed to ignore me.

I don’t know if she was confused, but her responses did confuse me.

We sell tickets to the theatre, musicals, and various events.

Me: “[Ticketing Bureau], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “What was your name again?”

I know this isn’t going to be a fast call.

Me: “It’s [My Name with a spelling of my last name].”

The caller is obviously writing things down. I hear papers shuffling.

Customer: “Thank you, [My Name]. I’m calling because I ordered tickets for [Musical] on [date] for [seat numbers] with your coworker, [Coworker]. I called at [time].”

A few seconds pass as I wait for him to continue. He doesn’t. 

Me: “All right, and what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Well, I ordered tickets for [Musical] on [date] for [seat numbers] with your coworker, [Coworker]. I called at [time].”

Me: “Okay, but what can I help you with today?”

Customer: *Slightly annoyed* “I ordered tickets for [Musical] on [date] for [seat numbers] with your coworker, [Coworker]. I called at [time].”

Me: “I get that, sir, but I don’t know why you are calling right now.”

Customer: “Oh, I haven’t gotten my tickets.”

Me: “Oh, I can see how that can be a problem. Were you supposed to receive them by email or by post?”

Customer: *Deep annoyed sigh* “Let me start again. I ordered tickets for—”

I now interrupt, which kind of goes against my morals, but this call is getting long and he is paying forty-five cents a minute.

Me: “I get that, sir, but I just need to know how you were going to receive them so I know where to check.”

Customer: “Oh, by post.”

Me: “All right, sir. Let me look at your account to see if they already went out. May I have your postal code and house number?”

Customer: *Now clearly annoyed* “We are registered in every single system. I have an account with you guys. You should be able to see my address in my account where the tickets got sent to.”

Me: “I understand, sir, but to pull up your account, I need to input the postal code and house number. It doesn’t pull up your account automatically.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see how you…”

A female in the background tells him to stop being so annoyed.

Customer: “Uh, yeah. It’s [postal code and house number].” 

Me: “All right, I see that the tickets got sent to [address] about a month ago.”

The customer tries to bluster again, but I don’t stop talking.

Me: “Clearly you didn’t receive them, so I’ll send them again. Can I send them to the same address or would you like to receive them somewhere else?’

Customer: *Sheepish* “Same address is fine.”

Me: “All right, since it’s already later in the evening, they will get sent tomorrow. If you haven’t received them in three postal days, please let us know. We will then make sure you can pick up the tickets at the theatre before the show. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “No.”

I hear more of the female voice.

Customer: “Thank you for your help.”

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Female Voice: “Sorry for him being a pain!”

As a student, my sister had a job at a small tourist information center. During graveyard shifts, only one or two people were scheduled there.

Once, the graveyard shift was being covered by a couple who both had to call off due to the unexpected death of a relative or friend. Since no one could be found to cover up in time, the center had to be closed early. Management put up a note on the door.

Management: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are unfortunately closed today. Our apologies for any inconvenience.”

The next day, when the center opened up again, it turned out someone had put a second note next to the first one, from the outside.

Guest: “This is a very big disappointment for us. We really planned to come in here today to make some purchases and get some information. So, yes, this is very inconvenient for us. I hope you take note of that!”

Two pieces of advice to people who write notes like this. First of all, “unforeseen circumstances” is a euphemism for an unexpected family crisis or illness or whatever. The point is, it is for something very serious and private, which is NONE of your business. Respect that.

Secondly, putting up this kind of note doesn’t make you smart or noticed; it makes you seem entitled and arrogant. Your business will not be missed.