Something similar to this story happened with my bank accounts about thirty years ago. Apparently, there was a woman in my city with the same last name, first initial, and birthdate. She moved somewhere else, and the bank moved all my accounts with her, as well as my husband’s since we had a joint account apart from our individual accounts.

It took me a lot of aggravation to get them to correct it, and when they finally sent me the bank statements I had missed, they had a note attached saying that I should have informed them that I had moved. Grrrrr!

I did read them the riot act on that, but other than an excuse, nothing was done.

Related:
Incredibly Unreassuring Insurance

I’m working at a shop-in-shop postal office. It’s super hot outside, but we have air conditioning — phew!

I see a lady coming in, her face as red as a beet or tomato. She’s clearly overheated, so I worry. People like that usually have a short fuse! When she comes closer, I suddenly recognize her; she’s my old teacher! I haven’t seen her in over a decade! 

She comes in with a huge parcel.

Teacher: “Please tell me you can ship this.”

Me: “Eh… I don’t think I can.”

Teacher: “I saw on the website that this size is allowed. I just went to [Store], but they demanded that I make a shipping label because they don’t have a printer, and when I got home, their site was down! So, please…”

Me: “I don’t think I can. [Coworker], can you please come and help?”

Coworker: “Oh… this size? The last time we accepted a parcel this big, the delivery guy scolded us. You should go to a real post office… but I don’t know if [Other Store] has a true post office there…”

There is a moment of silence. I see that [Teacher] looks defeated. I think [Coworker] notices, as well. 

Coworker: “You know what? Let’s just try it. If we have the option to print a shipping label, we’re gonna do it.” *Tries* “Yes, we can! All right, now, if we just hide this package in the back of the shipping cart…” *Does so* “There, let’s cross our fingers! You paid, so whatever happens, it’s not your fault! And [My Name], let me deal with the delivery guy today.”

[Teacher]’s eyes watered, and she mumbled a sweet, trembling, “Thank you so much.” 

And the delivery guy… didn’t notice the big parcel. It was below the maximum allowed size, so I don’t know why he complained last time. According to [Coworker], the delivery guy doesn’t like big parcels because he’s worried about the weight and how to fit it in his bus. Well, this parcel was long but weighed less than 700 grams! A liter of water is heavier!

And my old teacher? It turned out that she DID recognize me! She was still in touch with my parents, but she was unsure and didn’t want to embarrass herself by asking me if I was “that little one from way back then”. From my parents, I found out that cursed path this parcel followed… and that [Teacher] was immensely grateful for what my coworker and I did.

I give you three instances of my ex that I have since dubbed “The Snap™”, where she could go from 0 to 1000 in an instant.

Example #1:

I’m cooking her dinner.

Me: “Hey, babe, do you want a boiled egg with your curry?”

Ex: *Extremely snappy out of nowhere* “I don’t know. Do you want to be single?”

Me: “…That would be a no, then?”

Ex: “Duh! Boiled eggs are f****** gross! If you like boiled eggs, you’re a psychopath. Why would you even ask me if I want an egg with my curry of all things?”

Me: “Because I like an egg with my curry sometimes. I guess I’m a psycho, then.”

Somehow, she is back to perfectly pleasant after that.

Example #2:

Again, a dinner incident. I planned to make pancakes, but we’re out of jam for topping, so we pop to the store.

Ex: “What flavour jam were you craving?”

Me: “Dunno… I’m a bit fed up with forest fruit, as I always have that.”

Ex: “How about strawberry?” 

Me: “Not really, either. I think I want—”

Cue The Snap™.

Ex: “OH, MY GOD! Forget about the whole f****** d*** jam, then, why don’t you?!”

Me: “—blackcurrant. Uh… is there a problem?”

Ex: *Suddenly sugary sweet again* “No… why?”

Me: “We can get strawberry if you really prefer that.”

Ex: *Still smiling innocently* “No, blackcurrant is fine.” 

These kinds of instances pop up here and there, and when I ask her about it, she first ignores it, but after a while, she confesses that she is going through a burnout and she’s just tired and depressed, and that’s why she’s snappy. We haven’t been dating for three months, and we’re not at an “unconditional love and support” level by a long shot, especially not with the way she has been snapping at me, but I try my best by her. She says she understands that I need some more love and attention than she is giving me, and she urges me to speak up about it when I need it.

So, we come to the scene of the last Snap™.

We’re at her place, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. I open my arms to invite a snuggle, but she claims she is “too tired to even lean across”.

But not two seconds later, she gets up to pluck her cat from the other end of the room and give it a very grand display of hugs and kisses.

Trying to be playful and not too “Hello, I’d like some attention” and on-the-nose with my needs, I say:

Me: “Wow, [Cat] gets so many kisses today! You happen to have one to spare for me?”

Ex: *Snappy thundercloud out of nowhere* “I don’t know. Check under the couch for one for all I care.” 

I broke up with her the week after that, and somehow she was all “Surprised Pikachu Face” about it, even after all this.

I enter a dollar store. I shop there often, and I notice immediately that while the store is filled with customers, I only spot three employees: two stocking and one on the register. It’s quite clear they are all frazzled.

Right behind me, an older woman and man enter the store, as well. Immediately, the woman starts complaining about how crowded it is and how “there’s such a huge line at checkout” (three people).

The store isn’t that big, so I come across them multiple times. Each time, I hear the woman complain about the crowded store and the long lines. Each time I see the line, it’s max four people long.

When I go check out, I’m the third in line. Behind me, I hear familiar nagging about “the immense waiting time”. I’m not in a great and patient mood, so when she stands behind me and once again complains, I turn around with the sweetest smile I can muster at that moment.

Me: “Oh, feel free to go ahead!”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no! I am in no hurry! I have all the time! But why isn’t that young man calling for another register, I wonder?”

Me: “Well, I did notice very few employees; they are probably understaffed.”

Customer: “They should hire more people, then. Oh, this takes so long… and they even closed the self-service registers!”

Me: “Eh… there are no self-service registers here. There never were.”

Customer: “Oh, of course, there are! Over… Oh, they must have changed that the past week. Well, no wonder they are understaffed! They made more registers but didn’t hire more people!”

It was then my turn to pay. I think my entire waiting time was not even two minutes? I quickly moved out of the way with my stuff to pack it on the side, not to hinder this “not in a hurry but in a hurry” woman. I should have given her one of the “we are hiring” pamphlets that were near the door.

Related:
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 19
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 18
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 17
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 16
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 15

I’m a sports coach for teenagers who want to swim but don’t want to do competitions. They just want to swim, swim hard, swim a lot, and swim even more. The group I teach has an average age of seventeen years old, and I’ve taught most of my students for over five years. 

Teaching them can be challenging, as they get bored easily, so I try to make each lesson different from the other one. And if we all have an off day, we just take it easy. 

This time, I decide to see if the kids are up for some childish fun. I make assignments like “If the letter E is in your name, you do [this], and if there isn’t, you do [that],” or, “If there’s black in your swimming gear, do [this], and if not, do [that].” I manage to find combinations where most of the time, half does [this] and the other half does [that]. The kids surprisingly like it a lot.  

As a final assignment, I decide to be cheeky. For the sake of the story, let’s say my name is Amy. 

Me: “All right, last assignment. Just imagine the most beautiful name you know, one you would love to be called yourself. Don’t say it out loud; keep it to yourself! Now… if this name contains an A, an M, or a Y, you do [this]; otherwise, you do [that].”

Most kids don’t hesitate and just do either assignment. One, however, stays behind. 

Me: “Something the matter?

Student: “Aren’t we a bit arrogant today? *Big grin* 

Me: “I was hoping the others would have noticed, as well, but it seems you are the only one! So, as a reward, you may do whatever you want.”

Student: “Nah, I’ll just do [this assignment].”

I love teaching these kids.