(I am a handyman and almost always work alone, but I am working on a bigger project and could use some assistance. As I am leaving [Home Improvement Store], a young man comes up to me.)

Young Man: “Hey, man, need some help? I need a job real bad.”

(The baggy clothes, cigarette hanging from his lip, and dirty appearance turn me off, but I am willing to perhaps see if he might have some skills I can use.)

Me: “How are your math skills?”

Young Man: *proudly* “I don’t need no stinkin’ math; I’m gonna be a carpenter!”

(I assured him that I did not need his help.)

(This happens in a sophomore math class.)

Teacher: “Does anyone know the circumference of the earth?”

Student #1: “Eleven miles.”

Teacher: “Uhh. You sure about that?”

Student #1: “Eleven miles.”

Student #2: “Dude, you live twelve miles away from here.”

(I’m a department manager in a small health food store. We’re small enough that whoever is closest to the phone picks it up.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store].”

Customer: “Hi, is [Other Manager] there?”

Me: “No, she’s not. Can I take a message?”

Customer: “I guess. Will you actually give it to her?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(No, sir, I’m going to write it down and put it directly into the shredder.)

(I overhear one side of this conversation between a lady at the front desk of the dentist office and someone calling.)

Front Desk Lady: “Hi, thanks for calling [Dentist’s Office]. How can I help you?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No problem, I can make that appointment for you. That doctor is only in this office on Thursdays, but he is also in [Nearby Office] on Fridays; which office would you prefer?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “Okay. Well, I can set you for an appoint on Thursday the 29th at this office, or Friday the 30th at [Nearby Office]. Which would you like?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, next week is Thanksgiving and we are not taking appointments on Thursday or Friday.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, that doctor is only in this office on Thursdays, and [Nearby Office] on Fridays, so I cannot make you an appointment for earlier in the week. I can schedule you for an appointment on Thursday the 29th or Friday the 30th at [Nearby Office]; which would you like?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, but next Thursday is Thanksgiving, so we will be closed for the holiday.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, but the doctor is not in this office on Monday or Tuesdays. He is only in this office on Thursdays and [Nearby Office] on Fridays. Can I schedule you an appointment for the 29th or 30th?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, but we are not open next Thursday or Friday because of the Thanksgiving holiday. So, can I schedule an appointment for the 29th or 30th for you?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, but the doctor only works Thursdays at this office.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, we aren’t going to be open next Thursday; it’s Thanksgiving.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “Okay, I’ve scheduled your appointment for the 29th at [time].”

(The front desk lady hung up the phone. I burst out laughing and so did she.)

This story is part of the Thanksgiving 2022 roundup!

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(I work in a pharmacy. The national Finnish health insurance covers certain medicines — insulin, medicine for glaucoma, etc. — almost 100%; you only pay 4,50 euros for three months’ use. But there is a price range the insurance covers and if there are less expensive generic alternatives, the insurance covers only the cheapest for 4,50€. You can still have the more expensive brand, but you have to pay the price difference yourself. Some medicines don’t have generic alternatives for years, but when they eventually come available, this is often the discussion:)

Me: “This eyedrop used to be 4,50€ but now there’s another brand that is 19€ cheaper so the health insurance covers only the cheaper one for that price. If you don’t want to change brands, you have to pay 4,50€ plus 19€; that is 23,50€.”

Patient: “Okay, I don’t want to change brands; I want to talk with my doctor first. I’ll take the original.”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine. You can have either one, but for the original, you now have to pay 23,50€.”

Patient: “Yes, but I don’t want another brand. I’ll just take the original today and talk with my doctor about the generic alternative. I’ve always used [Brand]. I’ll take that one.”

Me: “All right. I understand the situation. There used to be only [Brand] but last month [Cheaper Brand] became available and they set their price much lower. That is why the health insurance doesn’t cover the original [Brand] anymore, even though it used to cost only 4,50€. But you can still always choose the original one if you want. It’s just a bit more expensive now.” *enters the original brand on the computer and sends the customer to pay*

(An hour goes by and the telephone rings:)

Patient: “Yeah, I was there earlier and bought my glaucoma drops. They should be 4,50€ but it says on the receipt that I paid 23,50€ ! Why was it so much?”

Me: “…” *loses a little bit more faith in humanity every time*