(We have had a shoplifter who stole hundreds of dollars worth of items, so the manager is checking the CCTV footage and calls me in.)

Manager: “[My Name], I’ve just seen you talking to the woman who stole that stuff on the footage.”

Me: “Really?”

(I check the footage and laugh.)

Manager: “What are you laughing about? It’s no laughing matter; she stole from us.”

Me: “True. I’m laughing because it’s obvious she is trying to keep her face away from the camera, and also about what she is asking me right at that moment.”

(The footage shows the woman leaving and then coming back in a few minutes later.)

Manager: “What did she ask you?”

Me: “If she’s allowed to park her car right in front of the store.”

Manager: *now laughing, too* “Are you kidding me?”

(We got great footage of her and her children putting the stolen items into her car — and a clear shot of her number plate — on our outside camera. The police are very confident that she will be convicted and serve prison time because she’s out on bail for doing the same thing elsewhere.)

(After I wreck and roll my car down a hill, I spend a few weeks in the hospital for various injuries. In that time, my store manager is promoted and a new manager takes her place. On my first day back, the store manager calls me to the office over the store’s loudspeaker. I knock on the office door, where I can clearly see her playing Candy Crush on her phone. I wait a moment, then knock again. She glares at me through the window and whips open the door.)

Store Manager: “Yes?”

Me: “Uh, hi. I’m [My Name], the [department manager]. You wanted to see me?”

Store Manager: “Oh, you’re the one who’s been off.”

Me: “Yeah, I rolled my car and—“

Store Manager: “You’ve missed several shifts. Weeks of your responsibilities are backed up.”

Me: “I was in the hospital but I filed for a medical leave of absence with HR.”

Store Manager: “I saw.”

Me: “Okay… so… I’ll get started on my work then?”

Store Manager: “You left us in a deep hole.”

Me: “Right, sorry. Again, I rolled my car and I was in the hospital.”

Store Manager: “We had to pick up your slack while you were off.”

Me: “I’m not sure I would call being stuck in a hospital bed for several weeks being ‘off.’ and I thought you said all my work was backed up.”

Store Manager: “I did.”

Me: “Well, are we backed up or did people pick up my ‘slack’?”

Store Manager: “I don’t appreciate sarcasm. I’ll give you a pass this time, but if you plan on leaving us like that again, you’ll need to notify us.”

Me: “A pass? For being in the hospital?”

Store Manager: “I’ll be keeping an eye on you. Go get started on your work.”

(She turns away from me and I assume that is the end of the conversation. I leave the office, only to be called back over the loudspeaker about ten minutes later. I knock again and wait for her to finish what she is doing on the computer before opening the door.)

Me: “You called?”

Store Manager: “Have a seat.” *turns the computer screen toward me* “I’m writing you up. This is a formal reprimand I’ll need you to sign to acknowledge this conversation.”

Me: “Why?”

Store Manager: “You have a very unprofessional attitude.”

Me: “Uh, sorry? When?”

Store Manager: “How about the entire conversation we just had? Or not coming to work for [weeks] and expecting to just waltz back into your old job?”

Me: “I was on medical leave because I wrecked my car.”

Store Manager: “And that mindset right there — everyone should cater to you.”

Me: “We should probably call HR.”

Store Manager: “No need. You can just sign this paper acknowledging that we talked about your attitude.”

Me: “No.”

Store Manager: “Excuse me?”

Me: “No, I’m not signing anything. I wrecked my car, I was in the hospital, and I went through the proper channels. I did nothing wrong.”

Store Manager: “You know Pennsylvania is an at-will employment state, right? I can fire you at any time and right now, it looks like we’re headed that way.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I also know I can also file a lawsuit against you and [Company] for firing me after going on a medical leave that was previously approved by our HR department. And yes, I have every email and voicemail saved.”

Store Manager: *glares* “Get out of my office.”

(She never did write me up for my “attitude,” but she did keep a very close eye on me for several months. When she stopped showing up and our previous store manager returned, it came out that the other store manager was skimming from the registers and blaming cashiers for the loss, forcing them to accept reprimands or be fired.)

(A customer approaches the counter holding a dress and a few tops.)

Me: “Hello! Are you all set?”

Customer: “Uh, maybe… What would you put with this?” *holds up the dress*

Coworker: “Like a cardigan over it? We have some over here.”

Customer: “I have a navy blue one.”

Me: “That might work, or we also have some white and pink over there that might look good, as well.”

(My coworker leads her over to the cardigans. She starts walking with her, then just stops in place.)

Customer: *annoyed* “I was talking about jewelry, actually.”

(Uh, okay. Sorry you thought we could read your mind?)

(A gentleman comes in and wanders around. He is muttering to himself about “junk junk junk,” or something to that effect. Finally, he approaches the counter and I meet him there.)

Customer: “I need to return this, please.”

Me: “For sure. Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

(I begin processing his return.)

Me: “As per store policy, I will be able to give you $27 in store credit. Is there anything you’d like to purchase with it today?”

Customer: “Wait, what? I want cash.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but store policy is that all returns are for store credit.”

Customer: “Nobody told me that.”

Me: “It’s on a big sign right here.” *points in front of register* “And on the wall by my head here, and on the bottom of the receipt.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know. I wish I’d known.”

Me: “We can put the money on your account if there’s nothing you’d like today, and you can use it any time to make a purchase.”

Customer: “Ugh, no. I don’t need any of this junk.”

Me: “Well… perhaps shopping for a gift for someone else, then?”

Customer: “I never give gifts.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not sure what else I can offer.”

Customer: “I just wish I had known. I’ll just take the credit.”

Me: “Very good, sir. Here’s your receipt. I’m sorry this item didn’t work out for you.”

Customer: “Whatever. You should tell people they can’t return anything when they buy your junk. Just a friendly piece of advice.”

Me: “I… Noted?”

(I am doing an exchange for a gentleman, and once the receipt prints I hand it over to him. I am male.)

Customer: “The f*** is this? You’re ripping me off! I should have gotten more back! I want your manager!”

(I call over my manager, who is a short, young woman, and explain the situation. She is a very blunt person and very good at math, so I know she can figure out what happened)

Manager: “May I see the receipt, please?”

Customer: “Who are you? I wanted a manager!”

Manager: “And you got one; let’s see that receipt and figure this out.”

(I grab it off the counter and hand it to her. After just a few seconds of looking at it, she figures it out and explains how everything worked out, that the amount he got back is correct. She even shows him with the calculator the simple math she used to solve the confusion.)

Customer: “How the f*** do you expect me to trust a woman with math stuff? This is a joke that you are management here!”

Manager: “If I can’t do math because I am a woman, then what is your excuse, exactly? Tell you what; you grab a second-grade math book and double-check my formulas, and give me a call if you need a tutor to get you through it. Until then, you have a wonderful day.”

(The customer leaves with a very red face.)

Me: “How do you put up with stuff like that?”

Manager: “The secret to success is to not give a f*** what people say you can and can’t do, and to relish the looks on their faces when you prove them wrong.”

This story is part of our International Women’s Day roundup!

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