Why Store Credit Will Always Feel Like A Deficit

(A gentleman comes in and wanders around. He is muttering to himself about “junk junk junk,” or something to that effect. Finally, he approaches the counter and I meet him there.)

Customer: “I need to return this, please.”

Me: “For sure. Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

(I begin processing his return.)

Me: “As per store policy, I will be able to give you $27 in store credit. Is there anything you’d like to purchase with it today?”

Customer: “Wait, what? I want cash.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but store policy is that all returns are for store credit.”

Customer: “Nobody told me that.”

Me: “It’s on a big sign right here.” *points in front of register* “And on the wall by my head here, and on the bottom of the receipt.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know. I wish I’d known.”

Me: “We can put the money on your account if there’s nothing you’d like today, and you can use it any time to make a purchase.”

Customer: “Ugh, no. I don’t need any of this junk.”

Me: “Well… perhaps shopping for a gift for someone else, then?”

Customer: “I never give gifts.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not sure what else I can offer.”

Customer: “I just wish I had known. I’ll just take the credit.”

Me: “Very good, sir. Here’s your receipt. I’m sorry this item didn’t work out for you.”

Customer: “Whatever. You should tell people they can’t return anything when they buy your junk. Just a friendly piece of advice.”

Me: “I… Noted?”