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Their Policy’s Days Are Numbered

, , , | Right | March 18, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [Insurance Company]. How may I assist you?”

Caller: “I have a question about my policy.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Do you have your policy number?”

(There’s a long pause. I can hear the ruffle of papers.)

Caller: *shouting* “God d*** it!”

Me: “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.

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Not Quite The Code To Success

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2011

(A friend of mine comes in to buy something. I help her find it, check her out, and we make plans to meet up after my shift is over. We’re both 22-year-old brunette girls.)

Coworker: “Hey, I think there’s a guy on the phone for you. Did you just help a tall brunette girl?”

Me: “Yep, I’ll take the call.”

(I take the phone.)

Me: “Hello this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Did you just help a girl find a book?”

Me: “Yes, it was a copy of the new Margaret Atwood book. Would you like a copy?”

Caller: “Is that like a code or something?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: “Someone asks for that book and you go home with them?”

Me: “Sir, she just happened to be a friend of mine. We made plans to hang out later today. Can I help you find a book?”

Caller: “Oh, so is there a book code that means I can have a threesome with you two?”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “Wait, are you the one with big boobs or no boobs?”

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Literally Going Nowhere

, , , , , , | Right | September 7, 2010

Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “It’s this stupid GPS watch that I bought. What a big waste of money!  It doesn’t even work.”

Me: “What’s the problem with it?”

Customer: “It shows the time, but not now how far I ran. I was running on the treadmill for over thirty minutes!”


This story is part of the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

Read the next More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup story!

Read the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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No ID, No Idea

, , , , , | Right | June 26, 2010

Customer: “So how long will it take to receive my new debit card?”

Me: “Five to seven days.”

Customer: “How will I make sure no one uses my card?”

Me: “Although there is no 100% foolproof way, you can start by writing ‘SEE ID’ on the back of the card so merchants can cross-reference it with your ID for each transaction.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t do that. I do a lot of transactions online and they won’t be able to see my ID.”

*long, awkward pause*

Customer: “Never mind, just pretend I didn’t just say that.”

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