Paying The Price Of Your Obfuscation

(I work in a large kitchen and bath fixture showroom. A customer walks in wanting to check out a shower set.)

Customer: *points at a shower set* “How much is this?”

Me: “Do you know which finish you would like it in? Each finish will be a different price. Also, are you doing a remodel or a replacement?”

Customer: *glares at me* “I want the price of this exact one. And that is none of your business.”

Me: “Great, that is a lovely color choice for that set. Unfortunately, I have to ask that question, because showers are controlled by brand-specific valves in the wall. This shower will not work witho—”

Customer: “I don’t care. What is the price?”

(I tell her the price for the set, explaining that it is a specialty color that needs to be ordered, which should only take a few days.)

Customer: “Yeah, whatever. Write down that price for me.”

(I write down the price and make of the fixtures, as well as the color she is looking at, and hand it to her.)

Me: “Now, I do want to specify that if you do not buy the valves, the shower won’t work.”

Customer: “We all know that is a lie.” *rolls eyes* “You just want more money from us, even though you overcharge.”

Me: “We work off of manufacturing prices here, but each brand really does have their own valve—”

Customer: “Just stop talking. I am really done with your lies. Now, I want this shower. When will it get here?”

Me: “Would you like to order it today?”

Customer: *glaring at me* “Are you stupid? I have my receipt right now.”

(She waves the handwritten paper in my face that is obviously in no way an order form. I never gave any indication that it was. She merely asked for the price.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is just pricing.”

Customer: “What are you talking about now?”

Me: “Ma’am, you asked for a price. What you are holding is a price.”

Customer: “Well, order it then!”

Me: “If you would like to have a seat—”

Customer: “Just order it!”

Me: “Okay, I need a full name and phone number.”

Customer: “Those are private.”

Me: “Um, well, I need to put them in our system. That way, when the order comes in, I have a way to contact you.”

Customer: “That is not true. I order things all the time and they never ask for my number.”

Me: “Ma’am, how else would we be able to contact you when your order has arrived?”

Customer: “I am uncomfortable with your handling my information. I am going to go somewhere else.”

Me:.”…..”

(Two weeks later, I get a phone call:)

Customer: “Where is my order?!”

Me: “Ma’am, you never placed an order.”

Customer: “I have a receipt!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have a price. I asked for your information, but you left before anything could be ordered.”

Customer: “You should have ordered it anyway!”

Me: “Ma’am, no money was put down, so it was not possible for anything to be ordered. Half of the cost must be put down first. You informed me that you were going to order elsewhere.”

Customer: “This is extortion!”

Me: “Ma’am, I never took money from you.”

(The customer hangs up. She came back in three days later, and still didn’t buy anything after another employee informed her she needed to purchase the right valves so that her shower would work.)