(I work as an animal carer for our local petting zoo which also has a child day-care center for children aged 0-4. Of course the children love all the animals and are always curious what we are doing. One morning I am on my way to feed our rabbit groups near to where the children are playing. A cute little girl of about three follows me to the pens.)

Girl: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I am going to feed the rabbits and give them some water.”

Girl: “Why?”

Me: “Well, I think they would like to have something to eat and to drink just like you do.”

Girl: “Will that make them pee and poo?”

(Trying to keep a straight face.)

Me: “Yes, they will need to pee and poo.”

(The girl seemed satisfied and I allowed her to pet one of the rabbits for a moment before she went off to play again.)

(I work at a pet store that also provides training classes for dogs. The day before, the trainer got into an accident and went to the hospital. He then had a bad reaction to some antibiotics he was given and had to rush back to the emergency room the next morning. He calls and tells the manager on duty that he can’t come in, so she agrees to call his students and let them know class is canceled and will resume next week as scheduled. Unfortunately, his paperwork is messed up and the manager does not know he has a seven pm class, so she doesn’t call them. The four families arrive and ask me when class is starting. Since I got there at four pm I have no idea what is going on so I ask the manager and she tells me to relay what happened to the class, since she is busy.)

Me: *addressing all four families* “I have just been informed that the trainer had a bad reaction to his antibiotics and had to be rushed to the hospital, so he had to cancel class. We were told that the manager earlier called all his students to let them know but I think she missed your class. I am terribly sorry, you guys. Class will start next week.

Customer #1: “Oh, okay, no problem. Thank you!” *happily walks off to go shopping*

Customer #2: “Things happen. We’ll see you all next week!” *leaves store*

Customer #3: *suddenly intensely irate* “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! WHY WE WERE NOT CALLED?! HUH?!”

Me: *calmly but slightly taken aback by her sudden shift in tone* “I apologize, but I do not know anything about training. I do not work that department; all I know is I was told the morning manager called the classes b—“

Customer #3: “WELL, CLEARLY NO ONE GOT CALLED BECAUSE WE’RE ALL HERE! I WANT TO TALK TO THE MANAGER, NOW!”

Me: “Of course. She’s the blonde one over there helping the customer with fish.”

Customer #3: “THE ONE WITH HER BACK TO US?! HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!” *stomps off towards the other end of the store*

(Customer #4 was standing off to the side during this entire exchange and now looks over at me and approaches. I prepare for the worst.)

Me: “I am terribly sorry about this inconvenience. I thought the manager called this morning.”

Customer #4: “Oh, honey, it is not your fault. I don’t know what that lady’s problem is but she needs to pull out whatever died up her butt. It’s not an inconvenience; I literally live five minutes away and I bet you she lives about that far, too. Some people think that just because you work at a store you don’t have a life outside of this and you need to cater to them.”

Me: *relieved* “Thank you for understanding! So many people just don’t get it.”

Customer #4: “Well, she obviously never worked retail! I worked retail for ten years and it gives you a whole new perspective on life. Don’t let her get you down. This ain’t a big deal. Have a good night. We’ll see you next week. And tell the trainer I hope he is feeling better!” *leaves the store*

(My faith in humanity has been restored.)

(I am in the car with my three-and-a-half-year-old son on our way home from the toy shop. He picked out a stuffed tiger. It should be noted that he occasionally forgets what he named his toys.)

Me: “That’s a very cool tiger. What will you name him?”

Son: “Mummy, it’s a girl!”

Me: “Okay, she still needs a name.” *trying to think of something he can remember* “How about Fluffy?”

Son: “No.”

Me: “Stripes?”

Son: “No.”

Me: “What about Ginger?”

Son: “I don’t like those names!”

Me: “So what will you call her?”

Son: “Georgia Wagstaff!”

(I have no idea where he heard those names but two years later the tiger is still named Georgia Wagstaff and he still plays with her.)

My mom works as a city hall archivist, and as we live within walking distance of it, I frequently meet up with her at the end of her work day to help with shopping and the like.

I’m heading inside, and as I’m passing a few dumpsters, I’m greeted by a kitten — weaned and old enough to be on its own, but by no means an adult cat. Being a cat person, I obviously stop to talk to it. The kitten is friendly and healthy, though attention-seeking. My home town has had a serious problem with stray cats, but this one doesn’t seem to be that. It seems more lost and desperate. I spend a few minutes with it, and something about the situation just doesn’t seem right with me. There’s not much I can do, though, so I head inside and inform mom and her colleagues about the cat, even pointing it out to them.

The next day, mom comes home from work and tells me the cat was a pet, and they managed to track down the owner! Turns out, however, that this wasn’t just a case of a lost pet.

The woman who owns the cat lives in the neighbouring town, which is about ten kilometres away. She’d recently brought the cat home, but her boyfriend didn’t like it. Rather than dealing with this issue like a sensible adult, he takes the cat for a drive while his girlfriend is out of the house, and dumps it so far away it wouldn’t be able to find its way back. It’s his deservedly bad luck that I found it and figured out something was wrong. Also, in his haste to get rid of the cat, he neglected to remove the collar, which had the owner’s phone number.

In the end, the cat was reunited with a loving owner. As for the boyfriend, I have no idea what happened to him… though he certainly deserved getting dumped.

This story is part of our Homeless Animals roundup!

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Read the Homeless Animals roundup!

Customer: “Hey, I’m looking for a cow costume.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I actually have several cows. I’ll bring one right out.”

Customer: “You have several? Good, I actually want two: a male and a female.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll be right back with both.”

(A short time later.)

Me: “Here is the cow, and this is one of our bulls. I actually have him in three colors: black, white, or brown. Do you have a preference?”

Customer: “A bull? That’s your male cow?”

Me: “Uh, yes. A bull is a male cow.”

Customer: *skeptically* “I don’t know about that.” *leaves without getting anything*