Misogyny Abhors A Vacuum

, , , , | Right | December 2, 2018

(My store has wooden platforms covered in carpet to display stock on. My male manager and I, a female, have just pulled one out of storage to prep for display. My manager plugs the vacuum cleaner in and starts cleaning. He’s interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.)

Customer: *points at me* “Shouldn’t that be her job?”

Manager: “Not really, no.”

Customer: “But vacuuming is woman’s work!”

(The kicker? The customer was female.)

All Your Sanity Is Just Scone

, , , , | Right | November 30, 2018

(My flatmate and I are stopping in at the supermarket to get a few bits and pieces of grocery shopping after class. My flatmate is mostly buying something for breakfast, which she’s very particular about. She also recently began working a job that starts at five am before her classes at nine am, and has been a bit crabby of late. We’re in the bakery aisle.)

Flatmate: “Where are they?”

Me: “What’s up?”

Flatmate: “The tattie scones! They’re all out of tattie scones! They don’t have a single pack! There’s usually three different brands, and they haven’t got a single one!”

Me: “Oh. That sucks.”

Flatmate: *unintentionally loudly* “They don’t have the expensive ones! They don’t even have the ‘soft potato cakes’! What am I supposed to do? What’s my life come to?! What is the point of a supermarket that doesn’t even have tattie scones? All I want are some bloody tattie scones!”

(After this outburst, just as we’re leaving the bakery aisle, there’s a voice behind us, musing to herself.)

Customer: “Gosh. I haven’t had a tattie scone in ages!”

Flatmate: *pause* “I did not realise I was being that loud. I am so sorry. I’m just really passionate about scones.”

A Baby Might Consider The Uterus A Cell, Of Sorts

, , , , , , | Learning | November 4, 2018

(I am volunteering at a science festival, doing science activities with children. We have an activity where it is relevant to mention that a baby is made from an egg and a sperm. The activity is specifically designed so that we never have to mention how these two get together in the first place, but we do name the two cells. I am supervising a girl of around nine, and a few other kids.)

Me: “The baby is made from two special cells from the mum and the dad. Does anyone know what the special cell from the mum is called?”

Nine-Year-Old: *raises hand excitedly, then calls out at the top of her voice* “Vagina!”

(I carefully avoid making eye contact with any of the other adults at the stand, knowing that I will not be able to contain myself if I do.)

Me: *very calmly* “You’re very close. That’s actually where the baby comes out of the mum.”

Unfiltered Story #118687

, , | Unfiltered | August 22, 2018

Legally, you cannot refuse someone a glass of water when they ask for one, even if they are fresh off the streets, potentially mad and not planning on buying anything…

Random lady, “Can I have a glass of water with lemon, please?”

Bar owner, “Sure. Would you like ice?”

Random lady, suddenly demonic and shouting, “I’M DIABETIC!”

Pause

Bar owner, “So no ice?”

Lawyers Were Never Real People

, , , , , | Legal | August 10, 2018

(I work for a government department that deals mainly with legal professionals, but we do occasionally get calls from members of the general public.)

Colleague: *on phone* “It’s a bit complicated. Are you a lawyer or a real person?”

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