The Worst Kind Of Chain Store

, , , , , , , | Working | February 6, 2019

(I am browsing in a shop that sells jewellery, scarves, and other accessories. I find something I want to buy and wait while they serve another customer, a young woman who is trying on a necklace. Neither the customer nor the owner speak English as a first language.)

Customer: “I’m not sure. I think the chain might be a bit long.”

Owner: “We could cut the chain, if you like.”

Customer: *noncommittally, as if she’s mulling it over* “Okay.”

(The owner’s wife immediately snatches the necklace away and cuts the chain.)

Owner: “That will be [price].”

Customer: *looks at the necklace again and tries it on with the new chain length* “No, I don’t think I want it.”

Owner: “You have to buy it now. We cut the chain for you. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “I didn’t ask you to.”

Owner: “You said, ‘Okay.’ ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You don’t speak proper English. I speak English. ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You must buy it.”

Customer: “I don’t want to buy it.”

(Then, the owner and his wife physically manhandled the woman out of the shop, yelling about how they were going to call the police on her. I threw down the thing I was thinking of buying and ran out of the shop, too, chasing after the woman, who was sobbing on the street, to console her. I still regret not calling the police on them for assault, or even saying something to them.)

Misogyny Abhors A Vacuum

, , , , | Right | December 2, 2018

(My store has wooden platforms covered in carpet to display stock on. My male manager and I, a female, have just pulled one out of storage to prep for display. My manager plugs the vacuum cleaner in and starts cleaning. He’s interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.)

Customer: *points at me* “Shouldn’t that be her job?”

Manager: “Not really, no.”

Customer: “But vacuuming is woman’s work!”

(The kicker? The customer was female.)

All Your Sanity Is Just Scone

, , , , | Right | November 30, 2018

(My flatmate and I are stopping in at the supermarket to get a few bits and pieces of grocery shopping after class. My flatmate is mostly buying something for breakfast, which she’s very particular about. She also recently began working a job that starts at five am before her classes at nine am, and has been a bit crabby of late. We’re in the bakery aisle.)

Flatmate: “Where are they?”

Me: “What’s up?”

Flatmate: “The tattie scones! They’re all out of tattie scones! They don’t have a single pack! There’s usually three different brands, and they haven’t got a single one!”

Me: “Oh. That sucks.”

Flatmate: *unintentionally loudly* “They don’t have the expensive ones! They don’t even have the ‘soft potato cakes’! What am I supposed to do? What’s my life come to?! What is the point of a supermarket that doesn’t even have tattie scones? All I want are some bloody tattie scones!”

(After this outburst, just as we’re leaving the bakery aisle, there’s a voice behind us, musing to herself.)

Customer: “Gosh. I haven’t had a tattie scone in ages!”

Flatmate: *pause* “I did not realise I was being that loud. I am so sorry. I’m just really passionate about scones.”

A Baby Might Consider The Uterus A Cell, Of Sorts

, , , , , , | Learning | November 4, 2018

(I am volunteering at a science festival, doing science activities with children. We have an activity where it is relevant to mention that a baby is made from an egg and a sperm. The activity is specifically designed so that we never have to mention how these two get together in the first place, but we do name the two cells. I am supervising a girl of around nine, and a few other kids.)

Me: “The baby is made from two special cells from the mum and the dad. Does anyone know what the special cell from the mum is called?”

Nine-Year-Old: *raises hand excitedly, then calls out at the top of her voice* “Vagina!”

(I carefully avoid making eye contact with any of the other adults at the stand, knowing that I will not be able to contain myself if I do.)

Me: *very calmly* “You’re very close. That’s actually where the baby comes out of the mum.”

Unfiltered Story #118687

, , | Unfiltered | August 22, 2018

Legally, you cannot refuse someone a glass of water when they ask for one, even if they are fresh off the streets, potentially mad and not planning on buying anything…

Random lady, “Can I have a glass of water with lemon, please?”

Bar owner, “Sure. Would you like ice?”

Random lady, suddenly demonic and shouting, “I’M DIABETIC!”

Pause

Bar owner, “So no ice?”

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