Seeing Red Can Make One Roll Up One’s Sleeves

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2018

(A huffy-looking woman comes in with her teenage daughter.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Woman: “My daughter needs a flapper dress for a ’20s dance her school is doing.”

Me: “Okay, great. I’ll pull a few options for you to look at.”

(I pull several styles of flapper dresses for the girl to try on. The woman stops her daughter before she gets the chance.)

Woman: “These are all sleeveless.”

Me: “Well, yes. Most flapper dresses did not have sleeves. If you’re not comfortable with that, I’d be happy to pull some more casual ’20s dresses. They were worn far more often than the flapper ones, and we have some darling ones that would look perfect in a dance.”

Woman: “No. It has to be one of these kind; it just has to have sleeves.”

Me: “The only dress we have in this style with sleeves is unavailable to rent, currently. If you would like, we can add a cardigan, jacket, or shawl to one of these dresses to add some coverage.”

Woman: “No. That would ruin the effect. It has to be one of these dresses but with sleeves.”

(The woman argues with me for a while longer before I go to my manager. She gives me the go-ahead to show her our only sleeved flapper dress. I thought it would be exactly what they were looking for, as the daughter had been drawn to the style it was in: a red fully-fringed dress. Relieved and thinking I have the answer, I take it to them. The woman’s eyes widen with shock when I show the dress to her. Fuming, she takes her daughter by the arm and tells her they’re leaving.)

Me: “I’m sorry. Is something wrong?”

Woman: “There are some colors we don’t wear in this family. Red is definitely one of them!”

(She dragged her daughter out, glaring at me all the way out the door.)

The True Justice League

, , , | Queens, NY, USA | Right | December 7, 2017

Throwback Thursdays

THROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s the wildest experience you’ve had with the police while at work? Let us know in the comments!

(A cop comes in, in uniform and out of breath.)

Bat Cop: “Batman.”

Employee: “Sorry?”

Bat Cop: “Batman. Mask. Where can I find one?”

Employee: “Uh, we’ve got a selection of—”

(The cop grabs a mask, shoves a stack of money into the employee’s hand, and runs out.)

Employee: “What the f*** just happened?”

(I’m wondering the same thing, so I take off after the cop, only to find a second cop waiting for him.)

Second Cop: “You find one?”

Bat Cop: *puts on the mask* “Yeah. Think it’ll work?”

Second Cop: “It’s worth a shot…”

(They walk around the corner, so I follow to find a drunk man clinging to a second-story window dressed as Spider-Man.)

Drunk Spidey: “You all just fake cops. Gonna be the Joker or some s*** behind that badge!”

Bat Cop: *in a deep voice* “Spider-Man. Come on down. We have work to do.”

Drunk Spidey: *after a long pause* “We do?”

Bat Cop: “The city is in danger. I need your help.”

(Slowly, the drunk man climbs down until he’s hanging from the bars of the window. One of the cops has found a stepladder and they manage to cajole him into climbing down. It looks like they’re going to let him go until…)

Drunk Spidey: “Yo, Batman! Is there such thing as, like, Bat-heroin? ‘Cause I used all my Spider-heroin!”

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The Nightmare Immediately After Halloween

, , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

(I work at a seasonal pop-up store that sells Halloween decor and costumes. Because we don’t want everyone to return their costumes right after their parties, we only accept returns up until the 20th of October and exchanges up until Halloween. However, managers can override the return policy at their discretion, such as if an item was marked down for damage, or the customer was being super nice. An older woman walks in.)

Customer #1: “Hello, I’d like to return this costume. I bought it for my granddaughter and it didn’t fit her.” *the costume she bought was $45*

Assistant Manager: “We can’t do returns, only exchanges. We do have that costume in a larger size if you’d like to exchange it.”

Customer #1: “No, I want to return it. Why can’t you do it?”

Assistant Manager: “Well, as it says on your receipt—” *she picks up the receipt and points right under our logo* “—we can only process exchanges past the 20th. It’s the 26th.”

Customer #1: “Well, I didn’t see that.”

Assistant Manager: *points to a placard on the register* “It’s also posted at all three registers.”

Customer #1: “You really can’t do a return? I need a return.”

Assistant Manager: “Sorry, we can’t.”

Customer #1: *looks to me, a lowly minimum wage cashier, for pity*

Me: “Sorry, all we can do is exchanges. Why don’t you look around the store and see if there’s something else you want?”

Customer #1: “No, I want my money back.”

(The customer huffs, shoves the costume back in her bag, and walks out. This part of the story is pretty normal, as people come in ALL the time trying to return things. The story gets a little more interesting though when another customer comes in… with the same costume and goal.)

Customer #2: “My wife came in and purchased this lovely, lovely costume for our granddaughter. And sadly, it didn’t fit at all. So, I want our money back.”

Assistant Manager: *once again goes over our policy, slowly and in detail*

Customer #2: “I don’t care. Give me my money back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t. Like she said, our policy states—”

Customer #2: “I don’t give a d*** what your policy states. I. Want. My. Money. Back.”

Me: “We can only do exchanges, not returns. You can buy anything of equal or greater value in the store and get what you paid taken off.”

Customer #2: “I want my money back. It’s illegal not to give me my money back. I ought to call the police; it’s illegal to do this. I want to speak to a manager.”

Me: “Certainly, sir, I’ll page her right now.” *I pull out my walkie* “Could I get [District Manager] to the front, please?”

Customer #2: “That better be the d***ed manager. I don’t want another cashier telling me I can’t have my money back!”

Me: “She’s the district manager, sir.”

Customer #2: “Good. She’ll give me my d***ed money back.”

District Manager: *with the store manager in tow* “What’s up?”

Customer #2: *points a finger at both myself and the assistant manager, recounting his story and demanding his money back, again*

District Manager: *explains the store policy to him a third time*

Customer #2: “You cannot do that. It’s illegal to keep my money when I want it back. How about I call the cops right now?”

District Manager: *without missing a beat* “You go right ahead and do that. Our policy—”

Customer #2: *pulls out his cell-phone* “I’m calling the police. Your policy is illegal.”

District Manager: “All I ask is you step aside so [My Name] can ring up other customers.”

([Customer #2] obliges, grabbing his costume and walking outside to, I assume, get better reception and wait for the police. We never find out what the police think of our “illegal” practices though, because the next time we look outside he and his wife have disappeared.)

District Manager: “You know, I would have given him his return just to get him out of the store until he threatened to call the cops.”

Me: “You have more patience than I do, because the first time he threatened that I was going to tell him I was refusing him service and he was trespassing on private property.”

(The kicker? He left his receipt, meaning that if he came back or went to the store across town that’s in our chain, he couldn’t get an exchange or return at all. I wonder if that policy is illegal, too.)

Found Yourself A True Renaissance Man

, , , , , , | Romantic | September 27, 2017

(This is the second year I’ve gone to the local Renaissance fair with my boyfriend, and the first year I’ve had any kind of money to spend, so I’m quite eager to head to one of the major costume shops along the main street. The capes from this shop are STUNNING, and I have been wanting one for years, so I’ve made sure I’ve got what I think is enough money to buy one. I drag my boyfriend over to the stall to look over which ones he thinks look best on me.)

Me: “Excuse me, how much are these emerald cloaks over here?”

Shop Lady: “Oh, the unpainted ones are [price way higher than I expected], but if you want one of the painted ones, it’s [higher price].”

Me: *heart sinking a good bit* “Oh, okay. Thanks!” *I sigh and whisper to my boyfriend* “Oh, well. I can always get it next year.”

Boyfriend: *smiling as he squeezes my hand* “You sure? I can lend you the money or something.”

Me: *awkwardly blushing, wondering if it sounded like I was guilt-tripping him to pay* “Nah, it’s fine; I don’t need it, and I don’t know when I could pay you back. Thank you so much for offering, though. It means a lot to me.”

(I go back to admiring the painted capes, making sure I knew which cape I’d want the next year when I could get one for myself. My boyfriend excuses himself for a moment and one of the shopkeepers chats with me for a bit. Next thing I know, my boyfriend is back with one of the bags the store puts purchases in. I stare at him for a moment before it clicks.)

Me: “Did you…?”

Boyfriend: *with a smile that I swear lit up the whole park as he hands me the bag* “Don’t worry about paying me back. Consider it a two-week-early birthday present.”

(I’m ready to cry, I am so touched! My whole face warms up as I blush, and I can’t stop grinning. He takes my hand and gives it a gentle kiss, looking at me adorably.)

Shop Lady: *winks* “Just so you know, those capes are waterproof if you ever wanna wear yours after a shower. Say, after he’s gotten home and you’ve got nothing else to greet him in…”

(Now it was his turn to blush as I giggled uncontrollably.)

This Is Complete Bull

, , , , | Right | August 14, 2017

Customer: “Hey, I’m looking for a cow costume.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I actually have several cows. I’ll bring one right out.”

Customer: “You have several? Good, I actually want two: a male and a female.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll be right back with both.”

(A short time later.)

Me: “Here is the cow, and this is one of our bulls. I actually have him in three colors: black, white, or brown. Do you have a preference?”

Customer: “A bull? That’s your male cow?”

Me: “Uh, yes. A bull is a male cow.”

Customer: *skeptically* “I don’t know about that.” *leaves without getting anything*

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