Your Refund Request Is Barking Mad

, , , , | Right | October 27, 2017

(I work in the dog and cat department of a big pet store in a local mall. Probably half of our customers come in from out of town. This happens when I answer a call for my department one day.)

Me: “Thanks for holding for [Pet Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was in the store earlier today, and I bought a kennel, but the cashier also charged me for a bag of [Puppy Food].”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry. If you could bring your receipt to the store, we’d be happy to get you a refund.”

Customer: “She also gave me the food.”

Me: “I’m sorry; did you say you have the bag of food?”

Customer: “Yeah. But I don’t want it.”

Me: “Okay. Well, if you could bring the bag of food and your receipt back to the store, we’ll get you a refund.”

Customer: “I live in [Nearby Town].”

Me: “Okay. Well, our return policy is thirty days, but if you don’t think you can make it back within that time, I can pass you on to my manager, and she can extend that window.”

Customer: “Can’t you just do the refund over the phone? I paid by debit.”

Me: “Uh… no. No, we can’t do a refund over the phone.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “For one thing, you can’t do debit transactions over the phone, period. For another, you have the product. You need to bring the product back, and your debit card, for us to do the refund.”

Customer: “But I don’t want the dog food.”

Me: “That’s fine. You need to bring it back to the store so we can do the refund.”

Customer: “Fine.”

Getting A Sinking Feeling About This

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

Customer: “Should I put gravel in my fish tank before or after the water?”

Me: “It’s a little easier to get the water level where you want to be it by putting the gravel in first. Aside from that, it doesn’t really matter.”

Customer: “Well, I already put water in. So, if I get this gravel…” *picks out a small bag* “…and try to put it in now, will it sink?”

Me: “Er, yes. Gravel’s just a bunch of small rocks.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know anything about this; I’m new to fish tanks. You’re sure it’s not just going to float?”

Me: “It’s a bag of rocks, ma’am. Rocks sink.”

Customer: “I’m new to this! You’re sure that it won’t float?”

(She continued to ask at least five more times throughout the rest of the conversation whether or not gravel sinks in water. She still didn’t seem to believe me by the time she left.)

Toxic Parenting

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I’m the manager, and since our aquatics specialist isn’t working today, I’m putting away a shipment of fish when a customer comes over.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “I need food for my goldfish.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you. Were you looking for a particular brand?”

(We walk over to the food aisle.)

Customer: “Which one of these is non-toxic?”

(I stare, stunned.)

Customer: “In case my kids eat it, you know?”

Me: “I… well, I’d advise keeping it out of their reach, but all of the foods are non-toxic, ma’am, or we wouldn’t be able to feed them to the fish.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you!” *grabs a container of food and happily heads out of the department*

Not Sure How I Should Take That

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(The credit card readers in our store are finicky. The machine shows a picture indicating which way it takes the card, but it actually reads on both sides of the slider. If it doesn’t read it, we ask them to turn it around. One day, two men come up to my till with a bag of dog food.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

(The customer slides his card and the machine issues a long beep, which means it didn’t read it.)

Me: “Oh, can you slide that again? It didn’t read it. Just turn it around the other way.”

Customer #1: “Oh, it doesn’t show it that way.”

Me: “I know. It takes it both ways.”

Customer #2: “So does he.”

(At this point, I pause for a moment, wondering if I heard right. Then I laugh awkwardly.)

Customer #1: “Dude!”

Customer #2: “What? She laughed.”

Customer #1: “Her face is all red.”

(I quickly circle the survey on the bottom of the receipt and hand it to [Customer #1].)

Me: “I’m fine.”

(I try to laugh it off as the two customers leave. I see my coworker walking by, grab him, and tell him what just happened. He looks at me for a moment, blinking, then bursts into laughter and starts to walk away.)

Coworker: “I’m glad I’m not a cashier.”

Has A Sudden Vested Interest

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 26, 2017

(My wife has a service dog, a German Shepherd, for an invisible disability. Some people seem to have trouble with the concept of a service dog, even when he’s wearing his vest. On this day, we are walking through a pet store with him in full gear, in a bright red vest with “Do Not Pet” on it in several places.)

Woman: *comes around the corner with a little girl of about six, and gasps loudly when she sees the dog* “Oh, honey, look at that doggy! Isn’t he cute in his nice vest? Isn’t he a cute doggy?”

Me: *stepping around so I’m slightly between the dog and the woman* “Aw, thank you. Yeah, he’s a good boy, helping his mommy.” *This usually deters them from asking to pet him without making them uncomfortable, but this lady is having none of that.*

Woman: *completely ignoring me and talking to the little girl* “Isn’t he a cute doggy? You wanna pet the doggy? He’s a pretty doggy, isn’t he? You wanna pet him?”

Me: *stepping more firmly between the woman and the dog* “He’s actually working, so he has to stay focused. He can have pets when he’s out of his vest, but he’s got a very important job right now.” *I’m speaking mostly to the little girl, who doesn’t seem very interested in petting the dog in the first place.*

Woman: *still COMPLETELY ignoring me* “He’s a nice doggy, huh? You wanna pet him? Let’s go pet him.”

(At this point, the woman grabs the little girl and tries to walk around me, shoving the girl’s hand towards the dog, even though she doesn’t look like she wants to pet the dog. At this point, I’m floored, as I’ve never had someone try to pet him even after I told them they couldn’t. I throw my arm out, physically blocking her from getting past me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you CAN’T pet him. He’s WORKING. He’s a service dog for my wife, and he needs to focus on her. You can pet him when his vest is off, but not right now.

Woman: *looking like she’s only just noticed me, and scowling* “Can you take the vest off then?”

Me: *astonished, and more than a little angry* “No.”

Woman: *glares at me, and snatches the girl’s hand away* “Well, you didn’t have to be rude about it.” *leaves*

Me: *speechless*

(Respect the vest, people! I get that she wanted to show the little girl all the “cute doggies,” but touching a dog when their owner says you can’t is never okay, service dog or not.)

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