Who Let This Customer Off Their Leash?

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2020

(I am a customer at my local pet store. I’m buying a dog harness, but it’s for my cat, who is just a little too big for the largest-sized cat harness and definitely too big for regular-sized cat carriers.)

Cashier: “So, what kind of dog do you have? A terrier?”

Me: “This is actually for my cat.”

Cashier: “We sell cat harnesses here. They’re across from the adoption center.”

Me: “I know, but even the extra-large size is too small for her.”

Cashier: “You must have a big cat. What breed is it?”

Me: “She’s a Maine Coon.”

Cashier: “Ah, yeah, those are pretty big cats.”

Customer: *behind me* “You’re buying that harness for a cat?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “Why? Cat harnesses don’t fit her.”

Customer: “It’s against the law to make a cat walk on a leash.”

Me: “I don’t think it is.”

Customer: “You just don’t know the law. Don’t you know you can’t walk a cat on a harness and leash? They’re too stupid for that.”

Me: “My cat is leash-trained and I can put her in a harness if I want to. It won’t hurt her.”

Customer: “It’s against the law! I’m calling the animal cops to report you! It’s cruelty to make a cat walk on a leash.”

Me: “You don’t know my cat, so…”

Customer: “I know how to care for cats, and I know what you’re doing is wrong! I’ll have your cat taken away from you.”

Me: “You do that.”

(The customer continues to rant about the law and why cats can’t be leashed-trained. While she’s talking, another customer enters the store walking a Siamese cat on a leash.)

Customer: “Does no one know the law? Cats can’t walk on leashes! I’ll report all of you!”

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Steven King’s New Horror: The American Education System

, , , , , | Right | January 31, 2020

(A group of older teenagers walks in and one greets a Shih Tzu in a cart. The dog barks and growls at her, sending her running. The teenagers come up to my register a short time later.)

Me: “Oh, you were the one scared by the little dog.”

Teenager #1: “Yeah! He almost bit me!”

Me: “Yeah, he was a mini Cujo, huh?”

(There’s a short pause.)

Teenager #2: “What’s a mini Cujo?”

(I pause and wait for one of her friends to explain, but they have the same blank look.) 

Teenager #2: “Is that like a type of dog?”

Me: “Uh, it’s a book by Stephen King about a Saint Bernard that’s bitten by a bat and contracts rabies and then goes around attacking and killing people.” 

(They all gasp and joke that [Teenager #1] is going to get rabies.) 

Me: “Yeah, just a crazy dog analogy.”

Teenager #3: *as they are on their way out* “What’s an analogy?”

(I think I died a little bit inside that day.)

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For A Few Dollars More

, , , , , | Right | January 29, 2020

(I work at a well-known chain pet store. Occasionally, we stick coupons into items to get them moving. We honor these coupons even after they expire, generally, but they recently changed our couponing system, so you need a manager or lead key in order to approve a coupon. A man finds such a coupon on a bag of cat litter. Unfortunately, the coupon expired in April. I explain that it is expired and that I can call a manager to fix it. It is a busy Sunday, with all lines backed up, and my manager is taking a long time getting to my register. The man’s wife comes up.)

Wife: “So, it was a no-go for the two-dollar-off coupon?”

Husband: “It’s expired; she called her manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry it’s taking so long.”

Wife: *ignoring me* “They won’t let us use it?”

Me: “We’ll honor it for you; it’s just that we need a manager’s key in order to accept the coupon. I personally can’t do it. As soon as he gets up here, they’ll take the amount off.”

Wife: “Just forget the coupon, then! It’s just two dollars!”

(My manager has just gotten up to the front.)

Me: “Are you sure? He’s right there.”

Wife: “Yeah, just take it off. You’ve already made me mad.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I throw the coupon away.)

Wife: “We just spent ninety dollars in here; you’d think they’d let us get two dollars off.”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize for it taking so long, and the coupon not going through properly, but I told you that you could, in fact, have the two dollars off. You chose not to let my manager accept the coupon.”

Wife: *shuts up*

Me: “You have a nice day.”

Husband: *angrily* “We will.”

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Pregnant With Rage

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

(I sold a guinea pig to these people earlier in the week, and the mom calls the store and begins ranting.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Mom: “Is your name [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mom: “You sold a guinea pig to us last week, and this morning it had babies!”

Me: “Oh, wow, okay.”

Mom: “It’s my daughter’s birthday today and now we have to deal with these baby guinea pigs! You should have told us it was pregnant!”

Me: “I didn’t know it was pregnant.”

Mom: “Don’t you separate the males and females?!”

Me: “Yes, but we can’t control how they’re kept before we get them.”

Mom: “Well, I would think if you work in a pet store you should be able to tell if a guinea pig is pregnant!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a vet; I had no way of knowing that.”

Mom: “You’ve ruined my daughter’s birthday! I hope you’re happy!”

(She hung up.)

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Unfiltered Story #182277

, , | Unfiltered | January 14, 2020

(We used to carry reptiles in our shop, but we stopped about a year or two ago for financial reasons. We now only stock a limited amount of supplies as well as feeders, and we also do boarding.)
Customer: You don’t have reptiles anymore?
Me: No, we stopped selling reptiles over a year ago. We only sell some supplies now.
Customer: Oh, it’s been forever since I’ve been here. [Old manager] used to work here.
(The old manager has not worked here while I’ve been here, which is at least five years, and is in fact dead.)
Me: Oh, yes, that was a while ago. She actually died.
Customer: Oh, yeah. So where is all your reptile stuff?
Me: In the aisle where it was before.
(Customer goes to aisle and shortly shouts over to me.)
Customer: You used to have a big rock!
(I approach the aisle.)
Me: This is all that we have in the way of reptile supplies, we don’t carry a lot.
Customer: Yeah, but you had a big rock–
Me: As I said, this is all we have.
Customer: Are you the only one here, or is there someone who can actually help me?
Me: What is it you need?
Customer: You used to have a big rock with a hole on the side, it was well-made.
Me: How long ago was this here? We sometimes can’t actually get certain products anymore.
Customer: Yeah, it was like a year ago.
(I highly doubt this since he told me just moments ago he hadn’t been in the store in forever, and when he had the old now deceased manager was here.)
Me: As I said, this is all we have, there is nothing out back, we aren’t ordering any new products. I’m sorry, but that’s all we’ve got.
(He proceeded to mope and tried to get me to sell him tanks and equipment that we use for boarding. Funny how forever can turn into one year.)