Preying On The Stupid

, , , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work in a large chain pet store and approach three well-dressed college-age men to help them.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you guys find anything?”

Customer: “I’m interested in falconry. Do you guys sell birds of prey?”

Me: *startled* “No.”

Customer: “Do you know where we could buy any?”

Me: “No, sir. In fact, I’m thinking that hawks and falcons are going to be really hard to get a hold of. And there’s probably special licensing involved…”

Customer: *obviously not listening* “What size cage would you need for a bird of prey?”

Me: “You’d need a very, very large cage…”

Customer: *points to a small hummingbird feeder* “Could you keep a bird of prey in this?”

Me: “…no.”

Customer: *pointing at a slightly larger hummingbird feeder* “What about this?”

Me: “No, sir, that’s a bird feeder.”

(To this day, I’m still not sure if it was a prank or not!)

Unfiltered Story #92597

, , | Unfiltered | September 2, 2017

(I am opening on a pretty slow Sunday. Our particular store opens its doors at 8am for Boarding and Grooming services ONLY. The registers are not functional until 10am when the store opens to the public for sale purposes. We have one register open at the boarding desk to check out customers coming to pick up their dogs early. We also check out grooming invoices as well but we do not have a proper till set up so the only way to scan things is to use a hand scanner. This isn’t a problem for our boarding and grooming services since the bar-codes condense down all services meaning we only have to scan one thing to get everything set. Any items off the shelves must be scanned individually which is why we do not cater to those buying merchandise very often unless necessary. It is about 9am and I am prepping paperwork for our new boarding guests when a very angry man approaches my desk.)
Customer: EXCUSE ME!
Me: Oh hello! Did you have any questions about boarding services we offer?
Customer: Certainly not! I have been waiting at the register for ten minutes and not ONE PERSON has come over to assist me! What kind of customer service is this!
Me: *eyeing his over-flowing cart of various dog items* I do apologize but our registers are not open until 10am since that is when we open. We are not open right now it is only 9am and our cashier doesn’t come in until 10am.
Customer: But you look open! The door was ajar and I saw employees!
Me: The door was open because we just received a late fish delivery and the employees are still setting up for the day.
Customer: Well I don’t care! You need to have it posted somewhere when you are open on Sundays this is ridiculous!
Me: Well we do have a sign on the door with the times posted on it right at eye level.
Customer: Who reads those signs? No one! Now get someone on register!
Me: I am sorry but the registers are closed. I can check out out here on my register but I warn you I only have a hand scanner so this will take a while with all your purchases.
Customer: Well make it quick!
Me: Yes sir.
(I proceed to spend the next ten minutes hand scanning his full cart. He seems to get more agitated as the time moves on. I give him his total and call for a manager to open up our Flea & Tick cabinet which I do not have a key for. The manager says it will take a couple minutes because she is busy transporting live fish. This enrages him even more.)
Customer: WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE A KEY FOR THIS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
Me: I am sorry but only floor managers and cashiers have keys.
Customer: BUT YOU’RE A CASHIER!
Me: Actually no I am a Boarding Manager and have no need for a key for the Flea & Tick cabinet since I do not sell it. I have all the keys to my facility but it would be pointless to give me a key I would never use.
(Manager finally shows up and retrieves his Flea & Tick for him before rushing back to her duties.)
Customer: You know you should really get a cashier in here in the morning so it doesn’t take so long!
Me: We do have a cashier coming in when we OPEN at 10am.
Customer: You should have someone come in earlier though!
Me: Right I’ll mention it.
Customer: *happily* Good!
Coworker That Watched The Whole Thing: You just can’t please some people
Me: It’ 9:30am and I need a damn drink…

Unfiltered Story #92746

, | Unfiltered | August 30, 2017

(I am in college at the time, and recently lost my childhood dog over finals week.. I come back home shortly afterwards, and plan to run some errands with my boyfriend. Because I am out, my parents ask me to pick up her ashes from the pet store, so long as I can handle it. Since my boyfriend is with me, I agree; though, I am admittedly a little bit numb as it still hasn’t sunk in. Still, I go to the back of the store and am greeted by a young nurse.)

Nurse: *chirpy* How can I help you?

Me: I am here to pick up Holly [Last Name].

Vet: *types name into system* I will get her in just a minute. I bet you are glad to have your pup home soon, huh?

Me: *a little forlorn* I guess.

Vet: *continues on, obliviously* And I bet she will be glad to see you!

Me: *deadpan* She is dead.

(I can then see the wheels turning as it clicks. Suddenly, she turns bright red.)

Vet: I am SO sorry! I mean, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing your childhood dog? I am sorry. Why don’t I go get her for you?

(At that point, I had to assure her it was alright, and if she looked at Holly’s records, she would see she had been in and out for months previously. Really, it was hard to be mad at the lady for trying to make small talk about my loving, sweet dog. I know she would’ve loved the attention, and I already had too many great memories of her. Besides, I probably should’ve started by saying I was picking up ashes!)

Racists Lose Every Argument

, , , , , | Friendly | August 17, 2017

(My friend and I are at a popular pet store chain picking up food for my snake. While waiting in line, he is trying to teach me a few words in his tribe’s language (Native Creek). He is very clearly not white, dark eyes, long, straight dark hair, copper skin tone, etc. Another customer behind us scoffs and we both look at him but my friend keeps speaking Creek.)

Customer: “You know, he should really learn to speak American if he’s going to be here.”

Friend: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “So you do speak English! Why are you speaking that gibberish, then?”

Me: “He is teaching me some words; he can speak whatever he wants. This is America, right?”

Customer: “Yes, it is! And as an American, he should just speak English!”

(My friend is looking very uncomfortable, as he is pretty shy and sensitive about racism.)

Me: “Sir, he is more American than you could ever wish to be.”

Customer: “How dare you! Look at him! I am the most blue-blooded American you can find! Born and bred!”

Me: *laughs* “His ancestors were here thousands of years before yours or mine even knew America existed.”

(He sputtered and huffed but shut up until we checked out.)

Needs “How To Behave Like A Decent Human Being” Classes

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2017

(I work at a pet store that also provides training classes for dogs. The day before, the trainer got into an accident and went to the hospital. He then had a bad reaction to some antibiotics he was given and had to rush back to the emergency room the next morning. He calls and tells the manager on duty that he can’t come in, so she agrees to call his students and let them know class is canceled and will resume next week as scheduled. Unfortunately, his paperwork is messed up and the manager does not know he has a seven pm class, so she doesn’t call them. The four families arrive and ask me when class is starting. Since I got there at four pm I have no idea what is going on so I ask the manager and she tells me to relay what happened to the class, since she is busy.)

Me: *addressing all four families* “I have just been informed that the trainer had a bad reaction to his antibiotics and had to be rushed to the hospital, so he had to cancel class. We were told that the manager earlier called all his students to let them know but I think she missed your class. I am terribly sorry, you guys. Class will start next week.

Customer #1: “Oh, okay, no problem. Thank you!” *happily walks off to go shopping*

Customer #2: “Things happen. We’ll see you all next week!” *leaves store*

Customer #3: *suddenly intensely irate* “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! WHY WE WERE NOT CALLED?! HUH?!”

Me: *calmly but slightly taken aback by her sudden shift in tone* “I apologize, but I do not know anything about training. I do not work that department; all I know is I was told the morning manager called the classes b—“

Customer #3: “WELL, CLEARLY NO ONE GOT CALLED BECAUSE WE’RE ALL HERE! I WANT TO TALK TO THE MANAGER, NOW!”

Me: “Of course. She’s the blonde one over there helping the customer with fish.”

Customer #3: “THE ONE WITH HER BACK TO US?! HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!” *stomps off towards the other end of the store*

(Customer #4 was standing off to the side during this entire exchange and now looks over at me and approaches. I prepare for the worst.)

Me: “I am terribly sorry about this inconvenience. I thought the manager called this morning.”

Customer #4: “Oh, honey, it is not your fault. I don’t know what that lady’s problem is but she needs to pull out whatever died up her butt. It’s not an inconvenience; I literally live five minutes away and I bet you she lives about that far, too. Some people think that just because you work at a store you don’t have a life outside of this and you need to cater to them.”

Me: *relieved* “Thank you for understanding! So many people just don’t get it.”

Customer #4: “Well, she obviously never worked retail! I worked retail for ten years and it gives you a whole new perspective on life. Don’t let her get you down. This ain’t a big deal. Have a good night. We’ll see you next week. And tell the trainer I hope he is feeling better!” *leaves the store*

(My faith in humanity has been restored.)

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