This Questionnaire Is Not Always Hopeless

, , , , | Working | June 19, 2017

(I’m applying online for a job at a chain pet supply store. There’s a pretty exhaustive application process, including a long list of statements you have to mark on a 1-5 scale from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.” Most are pretty typical for an entry-level retail job. For example, “I work best as part of a team” or “I appreciate constructive criticism from my superiors.” And then…)

Application Questionnaire: “When I look at the world around me, I feel little or no hope for mankind.”

(For the record, I marked “moderately disagree.” I never did hear back about that job, and not taking a screenshot of the question is one of my great regrets in life.)

Cat-ching On To Your Scheme

, , | Right | June 6, 2017

(I am at the register when a woman approaches with a large bag of dog food.)

Me: “Hi, do you have a [Membership] card?”

Customer: “No, and I don’t want one. Just ring me out.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I scan the UPC but it comes up as another item; a $4 cat food dish instead of a 35lb bag of dog food. I peel the sticker off and rescan.)

Customer: “Excuse me; what are you doing?”

Me: “Someone seems to have placed another tag over the original UPC. Your total is $58.29.”

Customer: “It rang up $4 so I’m not paying $60, and the shelf said $45!”

Me: “Well, since you didn’t buy a food dish, I can’t charge you for one. I can have someone check the shelf but if it said $45 for the [Membership] price, I can sign you up in, like, 30 seconds.”

Customer: “I want your manager.”

Me: “Sure.”

(While we wait for the manager to arrive, the woman huffs and complains that I should just give her the bag for $4 because that’s what I scanned, peppering her rant with insults about my job (“so easy a goddamn monkey could do it but somehow you’re too r******d”). I am looking at our website to see if the price she’s mentioned is an online sale.)

Manager: “What did you need?”

Me: “This cat dish tag was right over the UPC and I—”

Customer: “This b**** is trying to overcharge me! The sign says $45 but she’s charging me $55!”

Manager: “Okay, can you show me where you found it? Sometimes people put things in the wrong place. If that is the case, we can override the price for $45.”

Me: “It’s the [Membership] price.”

Customer: *to me* “No one is talking to you. Just shut up.” *to my manager* “She also scanned it once and it said $4! Are you going to honor that or do I have to call corporate?”

(I hand the $4 sticker to my manager. She looks at it, at me, and back to the customer.)

Manager: “Ma’am, did you put this sticker on the bag?”

Customer: “Are you accusing me of theft?!”

Manager: “No, ma’am, but I am asking if you know how this cheap item sticker from the other side of the store ended up perfectly aligned over the original UPC.”


(After the customer stormed out, my manager went back to the aisles and sure enough, there was a cat food dish matching the UPC without a barcode sticker… sitting where the dog food would have been on the shelf.)

Unfiltered Story #87851

, , | Unfiltered | June 3, 2017

Seemingly normal day. Customer 1’s husband was asking questions so I was answering him and ignoring her random mutterings. They chose a dog door. Later, the wife brings it back to exchange for a bigger size. Huge note here, we don’t keep customer information in our system. We never take addresses and our store will never call a customer unless asked.

Me: Sorry that one didn’t work, this one should be good though.

Customer: I guess its good for you because now I have to pay more money.

Me: It won’t be too much.

(Put in small item as a return, the system then prompts for a name, and then later a phone number.)

Me: Can I get your name for the return? (at this point the customer looks shocked and immediately raises her voice)


Me: I’m sorry, I just need a name for the return. Even a nickname.


Me: We don’t use this information unless absolutely necessary, and it is rarely used. Company policy says that I need it to do your return.

Customer: YOU ARENT GETTING ANYTHING I HAD MY IDENTITY STOLEN (goes on saying random things and generally being angry)

Me: (looks at my manager) ok just… what do I even do here?

Customer 2: (after customer 1 leaves, customer 2 walks up with purchases, looking at me with eyebrows raised) well, that was a weird one.

(I have no idea why this crazy lady felt the need to yell at me in front of a lineup, when earlier I made sure to explain that returns require a name and number.)

Unfiltered Story #88988

, , | Unfiltered | June 1, 2017

(This happens way too often)

Me: If I can get you to sign here when you’re ready. (I set down the credit card receipt. As I go to get the customer’s receipt, I see that they are staring at me.) Uh, there are pens right here. (Motion to the pens, which are RIGHT beside where I set down the credit card receipt every time)

Their Fish Are About To Be Liquidated

| Austin, TX, USA | Right | May 25, 2017

(I am working the fish department when a customer comes up to me, smelling very strongly of marijuana. His eyes are bloodshot and his pattern of speech is a bit off.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Do you have liquid food for fish? My baby fish are too small for normal food.”

Me: “Um, I really don’t think so since they would be breathing it in and that’s not good for them. But we can look?”

(I lead him to the fish food section.)

Me: “It doesn’t look like we do. What are you feeding the adult fish?”

Customer: “Flakes but they are too big!”

Me: “Maybe you could just crumble the food smaller for them?”

Customer: “You know what? That could work… Thank you!”

(Not sure how he thought fish were going to eat liquid food while they are floating in water.)

Page 5/54First...34567...Last
« Previous
Next »