Watch Out For The Crazy Gecko Tote Lady

, , , | Right | January 11, 2020

(As a pet care specialist at a nationwide pet store chain, my duties include not only caring for animals on the sales floor, but also rotating “deep cleans” of each pet care sub-department during the week. On this day, I am in the midst of reptile habitat maintenance — glass aquarium removed from the end cap, working with a cart of cleaning supplies and freshly washed decor and dishes, and fresh substrate — and am wearing a brightly-colored uniform shirt and a radio, with a name tag. An older fellow walks in, fetches a cart, and pauses his walk down the main aisle when he reaches where I am standing with a gecko in a tote and my gloved hands smoothing coconut soil into its home.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you work here?”

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What’s In Store Is That Our Store Doesn’t Have Policies For Their Store

, , , | Working | January 10, 2020

(I do volunteer work for a cat rescue that has adoption centers in pet stores. I am at one store every week and have become familiar with the employees. At closing time, I close up the adoption center and use the public restroom. While in the stall, I notice that some polka-dot fabric has been stuffed into the dispenser for the paper toilet seat covers, and I pull it out. It turns out to be a dress, most likely from the clothing store next door, complete with price and security tags. I finish up in the restroom, and take the dress up front.)

Me: “Hey, I found a stolen dress in the restroom, probably from [Clothing Store].”

Employee #1: “Wait, really?”

([Employee #2] exits the office nearby and joins the conversation.)

Employee #2: “Huh. Well, we don’t really have a policy regarding customers finding stolen merch from other stores in our store, so I guess you got yourself a new dress.”

(I give her a look. I worked retail for years, and I am really not okay with playing finders-keepers with stolen merchandise.)

Employee #2: “I guess if you don’t want it, you could always take it back to [Clothing Store].”

Me: “Sure. But then they could accuse me of stealing it in the first place.”

Employee #1: “Oh!”

(From the looks on both of their faces, this hadn’t occurred to either of them. And now [Employee #2] is realizing how helpful it is that she’s wearing a [Pet Store] uniform as it sounds less suspicious for her to say that a customer in [Pet Store] found their stolen merchandise in the bathroom.)

Employee #2: “Or, you know, I could take it back.”

Me: “Yeah.”

(Somebody’s gonna be really sad when they go back into that bathroom tomorrow to find their stolen merch gone.)

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Colorful Pronouns

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2019

(I am a transgender man and wear a pin with my pronouns on it at work as a way to encourage their use without necessarily having to out myself. Today, I am ringing a woman out who repeatedly refers to me as “she.” After the third time, I gently correct her.)

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s ‘he.’”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: *taps pin* “It’s ‘he,’ not ‘she.’”

Customer: “Oh! I thought that said, ‘she/him.’”

Me: *blinks and glances down at the pin, which very clearly reads “he/him”* “Er, no. It doesn’t.”

Customer: “Well! You can’t blame me for being confused! It’s pink!

(The pin is indeed pink.)

Me: “Well, I have a yellow one at home. I’ll have to wear that next time. Have a wonderful day, ma’am.”

Customer: *leaving* “It’s pink!

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Good Boy Gets On The Nice List, Owner Not So Much

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2019

(I volunteer at a mom-and-pop pet store for friends. They offer grooming services as well as food and various pet supplies. The following takes place the week before Christmas. People have been calling for grooming appointments all week, so we are booked. Most people are understanding except for this lady.)

Me: “[Pet Store], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to have my dog groomed. When is your earliest appointment?”

Me: “Our next appointment is the week after Christmas.”

Customer: “I need my dog groomed before Christmas! I have family coming over and he is a mess. Is there any way you can squeeze me in?”  

(Sometimes we make exceptions for emergencies like a rescue or extreme matting, so I ask her if her dog is either one, to which she says no.)

Me: “Unfortunately, all I can do is put you on the waiting list in case someone cancels, but we are booked up until next week.”  

Customer: “Well, s***. I can take him to [Large Chain Pet Store an hour away] before then, but I don’t want to drive that far.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t have anything before next week.”

Customer: “Are you sure you are booked? I can come later.”

Me: “We take our last appointment at 4:30 and those are all booked up. The only appointment I have is next week.” 

Customer: “Well, you are no help! Now Christmas will be ruined!” *hangs up*

(I tell the owner.)

Owner: “Well, what did she want you to do, pull one out of your a**?”

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Unfiltered Story #180396

, , | Unfiltered | December 21, 2019

(Alright so I work at a pet supply store that has closed early for New Year’s Eve. Me and my manager are in the office counting our tills when the phones ring. We ignore it because we’re closed but they keep going off every minute. Finally she asks me to answer it.)

Me: Thank you for calling (store name), this is (my name). How may I help you?

Caller: Yea I just bought this pet water bed today and it’s leaking all over! My mum said it would be easier to take care of than this!

Me: I’m….sorry. What did you buy?

Caller: (a bunch of laughing in the background) A water bed for pets!

Me: Uh…. May I put you on hold for a second?

Caller: Yea, sure.

(I then put them on hold and talk to my manager, telling her what they said and how I’m sure it’s a prank. She tells me what to tell them so I step out of the office again to resume the call.)

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, we do not sell pet water beds. You have the wrong store.

Caller: I bought it at mattress bargain! *hangs up*

(I shrug and go back to the office to keep counting tills. The phones go off again and again and again so my manager answers this time and I hear her say that we do not sell that product here and she hangs up. The phones start going off again and again and again once more. She tells me to answer and if it’s them just hang up.)

Me: Thank you for calling (company name), this is (my name). How may I help you?

New Caller: Yea how big are you fish tanks?

Me: Our fish tanks? Well we have many sizes. Is there a certain one you were looking for?

New Caller: Yea one for a gold fish. I have one about an inch. And guess what. IT’S GOT A WATER BUG IN IT! *hangs up*

Me: Seriously…..?