(A customer comes into my shop and wants to exchange a dog harness for a bigger size. Not usually a problem. She takes out the item; it’s not one of ours.)

Me: “Ma’am, that doesn’t appear to be something we stock here. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t get it here. I got it off of Amazon. Can’t I just exchange it for a bigger size?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. We don’t accept stock from other shops. You can’t return it here.”

Customer: “Why not? Surely you can sell it on?”

(I then had to explain that we don’t work on a bartering system. I ended up selling her something else. Bonus: she came back four months later and tried to return two dog harnesses, still not from my shop, for a more expensive dog harness than she’d bought previously.)

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 10
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 9
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8

(I am in a chain pet store when I overhear a conversation between a middle-aged lady, a young teenage girl and a store employee. The teen is looking at the fish display which is split into warm and cold fish.)

Teen: “Oh, this one is pretty cool!” *points at one of the “cold” fish, before moving over to the warm display* “—and this one, the angel fish!”

Lady: “Um, I think they are a warm and a cold fish… They don’t go well together.”

Teen: “So? I’m sure they will get along.”

Employee: “That’s not the point, ma’am. One lives in warm water and one lives in cold water. They are more likely to get sick and die if they are not correctly taken care of.”

Teen: “So? I’ll just put them together; they will be fine.”

Lady: “This employee just said they will probably die if you put them together. I’m not going to waste money on this.”

Employee: “We do have a 30-day return on fish that die, but I cannot in good conscience sell you these creatures if you aren’t going to take care of them properly.”

Teen: “But you will make money. Why do you care?”

Employee: “Because believe it or not, everyone who works here cares about the animals in our care. Actually, do you have everything set up ready to go or were you just looking today?”

Teen: “Oh, I was just going to put them in a goldfish bowl. They will be fine.”

Employee: *looking strained but trying to keep her cool* “We advise that you have a proper tank set up for a minimum of a month before introducing fish to it. A bowl for a goldfish only works if you clean it daily if it does not have a filter.”

Teen: “You don’t need to clean them! I want fish because you don’t ha—”

Lady: *interrupting her* “I’ve heard enough. You said you had done research on this and that everything was ready. This is why your pets keep dying. I’m going to go buy you a plant instead.” *turns to the employee* “Thank you for your help. Good bye.”

(I’m an assistant manager at a small local pet supply store. Company policy is that if a full time employee goes more than 30 minutes over 40 hours a week a manager just has to sign off on their timesheet to approve any overtime. I’ve just gotten done doing this for an employee who closed the previous evening, who told me about a customer who arrived one minute before closing and stayed until almost forty minutes after despite being told the store was closed, when the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to make a complaint about your employee!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask which employee you had a problem with?”

Caller: “I don’t know her name. She has red hair and she was there last night at closing! I was there no more than five minutes after you closed and she was extremely rude!”

(I have already reviewed the receipts from the previous night. Only one transaction took place after closing and it was 38 minutes after.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am; could you please give me more details so I can speak to her about her behavior?”

Caller: “When she unlocked the door to let me out after I had paid I said ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were closing’ and she said ‘Have a great night!'”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure I understand. Was there something about her tone of voice that seemed rude to you?”

Caller: “No! I said I’m sorry and she didn’t say ‘that’s all right!'”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, I don’t see the problem here.’

Caller: “I said I was sorry. It was rude of her not to say it was all right!”

Me: “Well, frankly, ma’am, it wasn’t all right. I’ve already reviewed our receipts from last night and you were here much later than five minutes after we closed. Furthermore, my employee tells me that you had been told that we were closing and you ignored her and continued shopping. Also, our business hours are on our website, our Google listing, printed on our receipts, and printed on our door very clearly. There is no excuse for you to not know what time we close and to keep my employee here more than half an hour late. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: *sputtering angrily*

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am.”

(The first person our customers interact with when entering our store is a cashier. Some cashiers are trained for dealing with the animals we sell and some are not.)

Lady: *to my coworker* “I just bought this hamster two days ago and it’s dead! I called your manager and I want my money back for all of this!” *shows cage, food, etc.*

Coworker: “We can help you with that. You’ll just need to go over there where you see the fish, and talk to one of our pet care associates first. After that we can do the refund at the register.”

Lady: “Why should I go all the way over there? I’ve got the dead thing right here!”

Me: *taking over for my coworker as I am also trained for pet care* “Ma’am, only pet care associates can handle your pet now. We are not allowed to handle it unless we have the training to do so. May I see your receipt?”

Lady: “Fine!”

(I examine the receipt and notice she bought a gerbil, not a hamster. I also note the water bottle has been installed upside down.)

Me: “Ma’am, I see you bought a gerbil. Is that correct?”

Lady: “No, I got a hamster. He’s right here! See?”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well, this is a gerbil; notice the tail? So we can refund you the price for a gerbil and the equipment.”

Lady: “Your manager said you’d refund me for a hamster! That’s what I want!”

Me: “I completely understand your frustration, it can be rather confusing, but you purchased a gerbil. This animal right here has a long tail, which means she is a gerbil.”

Lady: “She?

Me: “Yes, ma’am. All of our animals are female.”

Lady: “Well, now I’m glad he’s dead.”

Me: *losing my patience* “We can process your refund and I’ll take this over to pet care for you. And for future reference, the water bottle is upside down. Your gerbil died from lack of water.”

(I return to my coworker after I’ve handled to poor dead gerbil.)

Coworker: “It’s a hamster. It’s a gerbil. It’s a jamster! I bet it likes skrillex.” *does some crazy techno moves while mimicking dub step music* “What a rare breed!”

Me: “It’s extinct now. Unfortunately Darwinism was not really at play here; it got the wrong species.”

(My local pet store features animals from a local rescue that are up for adoption. One day I’m in the store when they have two rabbits in the bin who are available. I overhear an employee talking to a distraught woman.)

Employee: “No, those aren’t ‘bunny eggs;’ rabbit poop is round like that. But if they all hatch I promise we will find homes for all the freshly hatched bunnies.”