Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2

, , , | Right | November 26, 2010

Caller: “Do you have a stylist who specializes in blonde hair?”

Me: “We have several expert colorists, yes. Would you like to make an appointment?”

Caller: “Oh, I’m not looking for a colorist! Just someone who knows how to cut blonde hair.”

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Express (Death) Row

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2010

([Customer #1] is slowly packing up her receipt, change, etc., while [Customer #2], an elderly gentleman, is waiting patiently behind her.)

Customer #1: *noticing [Customer #2]* “Oh, I’m sorry I’m taking up so much of your time.”

Customer #2: “Oh, that’s okay. I’m just waiting to die.”

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Military Discount Can Save An Arm And A Leg

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2010

Customer: “Now don’t forget my military discount!”

Me: “Do you have a military ID, sir?”

Customer: “Sure do.”

(He starts digging through his wallet and doesn’t immediately find it.)

Customer: “I can also show you my scars from Vietnam!”

Me: “Just the ID will do fine.”


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Lost A Sense Of Irony

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2010

Customer: “Hi, can I check your lost and found? I think I left my phone here the other night.”

Me: “Sure.” *gets out box* “Here you go.”

Customer: *rummages through the box* “Whoa!”

(She finds a very expensive MP3 player and begins to pocket it.)

Me: “Ma’am, you said you left your phone here.”

Customer: “Yeah, so? I still want this.”

Me: “But it’s not yours. Someone else lost it and will probably be looking for it.”

Customer: “Well, if they were stupid enough to lose something so expensive they don’t deserve to have it! Oh, here’s my phone!”

(She walks away with her brand new iPhone.)


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Meet The Frankensteins

, , , | Right | October 1, 2010

Customer: “Didn’t you have glasses on last time you checked me out?”

Me: “No, I don’t wear glasses.”

Customer: “Are you sure? Maybe you just wear them occasionally?”

Me: “No, I don’t need glasses. I’m one of the only people in my family who doesn’t.”

Customer: “But I know there was something different about you last time. I know I’ve seen your face before, just on a different body.”

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