Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2

, , , | Right | November 26, 2010

Caller: “Do you have a stylist who specializes in blonde hair?”

Me: “We have several expert colorists, yes. Would you like to make an appointment?”

Caller: “Oh, I’m not looking for a colorist! Just someone who knows how to cut blonde hair.”

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Express (Death) Row

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2010

([Customer #1] is slowly packing up her receipt, change, etc., while [Customer #2], an elderly gentleman, is waiting patiently behind her.)

Customer #1: *noticing [Customer #2]* “Oh, I’m sorry I’m taking up so much of your time.”

Customer #2: “Oh, that’s okay. I’m just waiting to die.”

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Military Discount Can Save An Arm And A Leg

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2010

Customer: “Now don’t forget my military discount!”

Me: “Do you have a military ID, sir?”

Customer: “Sure do.”

(He starts digging through his wallet and doesn’t immediately find it.)

Customer: “I can also show you my scars from Vietnam!”

Me: “Just the ID will do fine.”

This story is part of our customers give TMI roundup!

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Lost A Sense Of Irony

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2010

Customer: “Hi, can I check your lost and found? I think I left my phone here the other night.”

Me: “Sure.” *gets out box* “Here you go.”

Customer: *rummages through the box* “Whoa!”

(She finds a very expensive MP3 player and begins to pocket it.)

Me: “Ma’am, you said you left your phone here.”

Customer: “Yeah, so? I still want this.”

Me: “But it’s not yours. Someone else lost it and will probably be looking for it.”

Customer: “Well, if they were stupid enough to lose something so expensive they don’t deserve to have it! Oh, here’s my phone!”

(She walks away with her brand new iPhone.)

This story is part of our iPhone roundup!

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Meet The Frankensteins

, , , | Right | October 1, 2010

Customer: “Didn’t you have glasses on last time you checked me out?”

Me: “No, I don’t wear glasses.”

Customer: “Are you sure? Maybe you just wear them occasionally?”

Me: “No, I don’t need glasses. I’m one of the only people in my family who doesn’t.”

Customer: “But I know there was something different about you last time. I know I’ve seen your face before, just on a different body.”

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