Getting Away Was A Pipe Dream

(My family has recently noticed that our water has been turning off often. For the first couple of times, we just write it off as company problems, but soon, we realize there is a problem with our plumbing. We call a plumbing company and they send out a plumber to check our attic. I am only five years old.)

Plumber: “I’ll need to check your attic pipes first, since that’s where it’s most likely to break.”

Dad: “That’ll be fine.”

(My dad shows him the way to the attic and the plumber climbs up and goes in. He stays there for a few minutes, when he suddenly screeches and practically jumps out of the attic.)

Plumber: “A spider bit me! It looked like a widow; I think I need medical help.”

(My mom, being a doctor, always has medicine for certain common things such as headache, stomach pains, and spider bite, so she lets the plumber sit on the sofa as she readies a needle, after calling an ambulance in case he needs further treatment.)

Sister: “Hey, what are you doing?!”

(The plumber has gotten up and picked up my dad’s wallet, which was on the table. He makes a run for the door.)

Dad: “Come back here!”

(My dad easily blocks him and we call the police, who identify him as a wanted thief.)

Me: “What happened? Why are they taking the pipe man away?”

Sister: “Don’t worry, [My Name]; he was a bad man, so they’re taking him to the place for bad men.”

(To this day, I still have no idea how he thought he was going to get away with it when my dad, a bulky man with at least a foot and 60 pounds on him, was standing right next to him.)