(I am a producer at an AM radio station that has an affiliation with a television news station. With a generally older listenership, this is an example of the kind of calls I get on a daily basis.)

Me: “[Station], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, is this [Station]?”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, channel five is in Spanish”

Me: “Your television channel?”

Caller: “Yes. Can you fix it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I think you have the wrong number. This is the radio station”

Caller: “Yes, I know that. What I want is to know why they are speaking Spanish on channel five.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think I can help you with that. You should try calling your service provider”

Caller: “I am calling my service provider. You control that news station with that weather guy. So, why can’t you fix my TV?”

Me: “We don’t control the TV station. We are a radio station.”

Caller: “Okay, put me through to the TV people.”

Me: “I can’t put you through to them. They are a different company. You have to call a new number. They only broadcast on channel ten, anyway; they can’t help you, either”

Caller: “Why can’t you just fix this?! Let me talk to your boss!”

Me: “Sir, I am the producer of this show. I’m the only person you can talk to right now; you called the hotline.”

Caller: “Jesus Christ! I’m writing a letter!”

Me: “Thanks for listening. Have a nice day.”

(Never did see that letter. He probably sent it to the TV station.)

(We have a new hire who is originally from Kenya and has a very thick accent as a result. One of my managers turns out to be very racist and belittles her behind her back.)

Manager: “I have no idea how [New Hire] even managed to get a job here. She can’t speak properly, and her people have probably never even heard of indoor plumbing before. How can we trust her to even know how a computer works?”

(My coworkers and I are all speechless at her statement. All of a sudden the new hire in question walks into the lunchroom. She must have overheard our manager because she turns her head toward the sink when another coworker turns it on, and loudly proclaims:)

New Hire: “Running water indoors! What is this witchcraft?!”

(After quite a few complaints, plus an unrelated incident that cost the company money, the manager no longer works here anymore, while the new hire still does and isn’t really all that new anymore. We all still like to proclaim the sink to be witchcraft every time someone turns it on.)

(My friend and I are going to a concert at a bar. I am 22. He is 19, so not of age, and has never learned to drive, nor has he ever left the country, so he has no driver’s license and no passport.)

Bouncer: “Tickets, please.”

(I hand him the tickets.)

Bouncer: “IDs?”

(I hand him my state-issued driver’s license. My friend hands him his county-issued ID.)

Bouncer: *points to me* “You’re good to go.” *points to friend* “I can’t let you in with this.”

Friend: “Why not? It’s a valid ID.”

Bouncer: “This doesn’t even look like a real ID. I’ve never seen one of these. It’s not even from this county.”

(We spend about five minutes arguing back and forth.)

Bouncer: “Okay, fine. I’ll let him in, but he’s not getting one of the ‘over 21’ bracelets.”

Me: “He’s NOT over 21.”

Friend: “Yeah, I’m 19.”

Me: “Just like the ID says.”

(The ticket guy realized he didn’t even read the information on the ID, glared, put the bracelet on me, and pointed at the entrance.)

(I work at a big national department store. My initial availability is basically “all day, every day.” After having been there for about a year, they start looking to promote me to “team lead” status, but at the same time my mother’s health takes a serious downturn, and the following occurs:)

Assistant Manager: “We were looking to make you a team lead, but I see you just changed your availability until only six?”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately my mom’s just been through several health scares, and I’m the only one that lives with her.”

Assistant Manager: “Well, if we’re going to give you this promotion, you need to be a bit more flexible. You can’t work closing at all?”

Me: “I can occasionally, if it’s absolutely necessary, but not on any sort of permanent schedule. Why is this such a big deal for being a team lead?”

Assistant Manager: “Well, when you’re a team lead, you need to be available to close one day and open the next day, twice a week. It’s just the regulations. We’d really, really like to give you this opportunity; you’re one of our hardest workers and we think you’d be a great fit.”

Me: “I’d like it, too, but unless you can find someone who’ll voluntarily be a 24/7 live-in nurse for my mom with no compensation, I just can’t do it right now.”

Assistant Manager: “Are you sure? This could be a really big opportunity!”

Me: “As you said, but my mom’s health comes first.”

(This conversation happens about once every two or three months with a couple different assistant managers. They even start sneaking closing shifts outside of my listed availability onto the schedule, despite me repeatedly saying I can only occasionally cover someone as an emergency, so it becomes a weekly ritual of finding someone to switch shifts with. After about a year and a half, my mother passes away, right in the middle of me landing a more standard 9:00 to 6:00, Monday through Friday job. Unfortunately, in order to score the job, I basically have to give in my notice on Thursday that I’m starting the new job on Monday, and end up talking with the very first manager that started the cycle.)

Assistant Manager: “Listen, I’m really disappointed you’re looking to go through with this.”

Me: “I know, but it’s a stable position. It’s about 50 cents less per hour, but it’s more hours and more stable hours without constantly having to shift my schedule around, and honestly, I have more potential for improvement there. I’ve already found people to cover my scheduled shifts here the next two weeks.”

Assistant Manager: “But you’re finally free up to switch to team lead!”

Me: “Really? That’s your take-away from my mother dying? That my schedule’s more free?”

(At least he had the sensibility to look embarrassed about that. I still took the new job, and got several rapidfire raises and promotions, well past what I would have in the department store. Here’s the funny part! About six months later I was shopping in that store, and the assistant manager saw me. He actually asked me if I “came to my senses” and wanted my old job back!)

(I work in a toy store and, as expected, kids are almost always in the store. The store is fairly small, and there are no aisles. As this happens, there are a few kids around.)

Me: “Hey, welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve come to look for something for my daughter.”

(I go and I show him where the girls’ section is. He sees a box he likes, and while talking about it and asking about it, multiple times he curses, all in the matter of half a minute or so.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I don’t mean to be rude, but could you please refrain from cursing as there are children around?”

Customer: “Okay, and don’t correct me again.”

(He grabs the box and heads over to the register, where I ring him out. I offer him our rewards card.)

Customer: “Yeah, no, I don’t want it. I really don’t want to be around you.”

(I am mildly offended, but complete the transaction quickly. The customer walks out. At this point, I usually say things like, “have a good one,” or whatever, but he is definitely in a bad mood. A minute after, my manager points out that it was good of me to ask him to refrain from cursing, but due to my attention issues, I didn’t realize that I had gone on for about fifteen seconds about not cursing, which in my head felt like I said it once. He says to consider it a learning experience, and tells me that it isn’t really my fault that the guy reacted so rudely. I feel like crap automatically, and hope the customer will come back in so I can apologize to him.)

Me: *answers the phone with usual greeting of place and name* “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, uh, [My Name], f*** you. We clear?”

(I fall dead silent out of shock and hang up, walking towards the back room where I tell my manager what just happened.)

Manager: “What an a**hole.”

(Let’s just say I’m not sorry anymore.)