(I am working in a large department store. We have staff discounts that also cover immediate family’s purchases. We aren’t allowed to serve family members or friends ourselves; the company is really strict about giving discounts. I get called to the counter.)

Coworker: “There’s a lady over there who asked for you; she said she’s a friend.”

(I recognise the lady as someone my sister knows; I barely know or even like her.)

Lady: “Hi, [My Name], I need to buy this stuff. Your sister said you’ll give me a discount.”

Me: “I can’t give you a discount.”

Lady: “Yes, your sister said you would; you can use your staff discount.”

Me: “No, I’m not allow to do that. Staff discounts can only be done by a manager, and only with family. It’s not up to [Sister] to promise that to you.”

Lady: “Well, tell the manager I am your sister.”

(It’s very obvious that we are different nationalities.)

Me: “The manager knows what my sister looks like, and you have just told [Coworker] that we’re friends; I can’t do it.”

(I knew that if I gave in to her that I would never see the end of it, and she and my sister’s other friends would be in constantly demanding discounts.)

(I have worked for this company for about seven years. In that time many things have changed, including the style of sticker we use on our paint cans to show what type of tint has been used in it and how much. When I first started in 2006, the stickers were square, but they changed — I think in 2009 — to round ones, and this situation takes place in 2013. A woman walks up to the returns counter with two five-gallon buckets of deck and fence stain — totaling about $200 — that have clearly been tinted — which we don’t take back, anyway, unless we made a mistake with the color. They have square labels.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this stain, but I got too much and I need to return it.”

Me: “When did you purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, a couple of months ago. I know I won’t be able to get cash, but could I get store credit?”

(Big red scam flag.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, since we haven’t used square stickers since about 2009, it’s extremely improbable that you bought it a couple of months ago. Also, I’m terribly sorry, but we don’t take back tinted products, anyway, unless there’s something wrong with the color.”

Customer: “The color was wrong; I just didn’t have time to come back in until today.”

(HUGE red scam flag.)

Me: *after checking the stickers* “Ma’am, the date on this sticker is from 2008; that was five years ago. Even if we did make a mistake back then, it’s not possible for us to refund you or replace it now.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just take it from me and sell it to someone, or give it away, or dispose of it? I just need to get rid of it.”

(There isn’t a flag big enough or red enough to convey that she’s attempting to pull some sort of scam, so I think, “Yeah, right, and open ourselves up to you being able to accuse us of ‘stealing’ your stain? No, thank you.” But what I actually say is:)

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we can’t sell it or give it away to anyone, because we have no idea what the chemical composition would be like by now. We also can’t dispose of it for you because stain is classified as a hazardous material, and we can’t accept anything hazmat that isn’t already considered part of our inventory.”

(This wasn’t exactly the truth, since we constantly accepted things like burnt-out fluorescent bulbs or empty spray paint cans from customers — we’d much rather pay to dispose of it for them than get fined if the EPA finds those things in our dumpster — but at least she left without any fuss! We made sure she had help loading her car back up, too, because we also didn’t want her abandoning the stain in the parking lot and using that as a method to accuse us of “stealing” it from her.)

(My grandparents give me a $20 gift card to a popular store for Christmas. I attempt to use the gift card a few weeks later on groceries.)

Me: *hands cashier the gift card when it’s time to pay* “I have a little gift card to use first.”

(The cashier rapidly types in numbers from the card, which I think is odd, because usually they just scan the card’s bar code. The computer gives an error.)

Cashier: “There’s nothing on the card.”

Me: “Really? It’s never been used.”

Cashier: “Yeah.” *he tosses the gift card under the register*

Me: “Oh… Okay.”

(While it seems strange, I consider that because my grandparents are elderly and forgetful, they might have accidentally given me an old gift card, so I don’t push back, and pay with a credit card. As we’re leaving, my boyfriend prods me and whispers in my ear.)

Boyfriend: “Get that card back.”

Me: *turning back to the cashier* “Excuse me? Can I have the empty card back, please?”  

(The cashier looks very inconvenienced, and shuffles through a box of old gift cards, making me almost tell him to forget it so the line doesn’t get held up.)

Boyfriend: “I think you put it under the register, bud.”

(The cashier turned and reluctantly reached under the register, and found my gift card. As he handed it to me, he looked around furtively. On the way home, I checked the gift card balance on my phone, and it said it had $20. I’m glad my boyfriend pushed me to get the card back, even if it was just twenty bucks! At first, I thought the cashier might have just made a mistake, but the whole thing, including him rapidly typing in the card’s number incorrectly to get a computer error, seemed really contrived in retrospect, so I later called the store to explain the situation. I haven’t seen that cashier in the months since.)

(I work in a movie theatre. It is reasonably busy today, and we have three lines operating: a line for just tickets where I am the cashier, a line for online pre-bookings, and a line for tickets and candy bar. The line for just tickets is significantly shorter than the other two.)

Customer: “Hi! I’d like one ticket to [Movie].”

Me: “Here you go; you’ll be in [cinema]. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *in hushed tones* “Dear, would I also be able to have a small Coke Zero?”

Me: “I’m afraid you will have to queue in the line on the far side.” *gesturing*

Customer: “But it’s so long!”

Me: “I know, but all those people over there are also wanting tickets and candy bar. It would be unfair to serve you before them, from the incorrect line.”

(She disappears, and I serve the few people left in the queue. Then I go to assist with the candy bar and online pre-bookings queues. I notice she has stepped in the front of the online bookings queue, which has also thinned out, to have a go with another cashier. I intercept.)

Me: *leaning over the counter near the online pre-bookings queue* “Hi, was it just the small Coke Zero?”

Customer: *she thinks she’s hit the jackpot, and smiles gleefully* “Yes, just the Coke, no ice.”

Me: “Great, just in the candy bar queue there. Thanks.”

(She finally moved into the correct queue, grumbling.)

(I work in a small store that sells kitchen accessories as well as both kitchen and sporting knives. There are usually two people in at a time so we have the chance to sit in the backroom and eat our lunch without being disturbed. My coworker has just gone for her lunch when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hello, is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “No, I know what I want. I want this sporting knife by [Brand]. I have done my research and I’m set on this one.”

Me: “Okay. Let me just grab it for you and I will bring it up to the till.”

(I grab the knife for the customer and ring her through.)

Me: “That will be $135.76; will that be everything for you?”

Customer: “That is way too expensive. Can you discount the price for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but unless the knife is damaged I can’t reduce the price.”

Customer: “Yeah, let’s do that!”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Discount the price.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am; the item is not damaged so I can not offer a discount.”

(At this point my coworker comes out and grabs her water, then goes back into the backroom.)

Customer: “Oh, if I had known she was working today, I would have just asked for her to help me. She always gives me a discount, because we know each other; she always gives me half off.”

(I know she is lying because she just “suddenly” remembered that my coworker gives her discounts, and the most we can give is 20% off to a customer; if we give any more than 50% off an item that isn’t marked down as 50%, we get locked out of the system and can not log in unless a manager is contacted, and we have to explain why we were issuing a 50% discount on an item that isn’t on sale.)

Me: “Don’t stand there and lie to my face. My coworker and I work every shift together because we are more productive as a team, and ever since we have worked together we have never seen you in here before. But if you would like, I can go grab my coworker and you can tell me again how you know each other and how she always gives you a discount.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you treat your customers like this. Give me a business card; I’m going to be calling your manager and corporate to tell them your attitude is horrendous!”

Me: *puts a business card on the counter* “Feel free, and you can also tell them how you lied to me about knowing my coworker, just so you wouldn’t have to pay full price on an item. Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping with [Company].”

(She never called my manager or corporate, but according to my manager she came in two other times with my other coworkers and tried to pull the same thing. We have her picture up in our backroom, and are told to refuse her service.)