Do Not Put THAT On The Butt!

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(Having grown up outside of “Cajun Country,” I often have trouble understanding customers that come through the store. This lady’s accent is particularly thick, and I have no one who grew up locally to ask for help.)

Customer: “I’m lookin’ for taco potter.”

Me: *getting a lot of strange mental pictures* “Taco potter?”

Customer: “Yeah. Y’know, taco potter.” *she mimes shaking something*

Me: “Do you mean… taco powder?”

Customer: “That’s what I said! Taco potter!”

(I take her to the seasoning section and show her packets of taco seasoning.)

Customer: *getting agitated* “No! Taco potter! Taco potter!” *emphatically mimes shaking something out of a jar*

Me: “I… um… I’m not sure what—”

Customer: “Taco potter! Like you put on a baby’s butt!”

Me: “Oh, talcum powder!”

Customer: “Yes! Good lord! Taco potter!”

(Why couldn’t she just say, “like you put on a baby’s butt,” in the first place?)

That’s A Hard Pass

, , , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I work in a local drugstore very close to the college football stadium. We do not sell alcohol of any kind. On a game day, a coworker and I spot a lady walking down the center aisle, wearing a team sweatshirt and looking lost.)

Me: “Excuse me, can we help you find something?”

Customer: “Yeah, where’s y’all’s beer?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, we don’t sell beer.”

Customer: “You sell hard liquor but you don’t sell beer?!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, if we sold hard liquor I’d have a lot more fun at this job.”

A Lax Understanding Of Tax, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | March 24, 2018

(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve bought some clothes during a sale, but the price the cashier gives me is almost ten dollars more than I was expecting. I don’t want to cause a fuss without reason, so I pay, but I immediately inspect the receipt, and spot the problem right away.)

Me: “Oh, yeah… Taxes are a thing that exist, aren’t they?”

Cashier: *laughing*

Me: “Thanks! Have a good day!”

A Lax Understanding Of Tax

No Rest Even In The Restroom

, , , , , | Friendly | March 15, 2018

(I’m an 18-year-old female. I go to a party at the house of some friends. It’s a very family-friendly party. There are people of all ages there including lots of kids. There is no alcohol, but there is lots of good food. When I arrive, I warmly greet various friends, including a man much older than me. We’re not close friends, but we do know each other from previous encounters. He makes small talk with me as we both move through the house. I’m in a good mood, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of the party, and smiling as we talk. I’m headed for a hallway with a bathroom, and I assume he’s heading for the nearby kitchen, where the biggest crowd of people are helping themselves to food. But as I start to enter the bathroom, he’s right on my heels.)

Me: “Oh, were you going in here? I’m sorry.”

(I step back away from the door.)

Man: “No, I’m going in there with you.”

Me: *taken aback* “Um, why?”

Man: “In case you needed help.”

(I am flabbergasted for a moment, and then creeped out, and then angry.)

Me: “I don’t need help peeing, thanks.”

Man: “Are you sure?”

Me: *feeling really angry now* “Yeah. I’m sure.”

(I closed the door with me inside the bathroom and him outside it. I locked the door. If you’re ever in a situation where an old man mistakes your friendly demeanor for flirting, don’t do what I did: lock yourself alone in a bathroom until you calm down and then spend the rest of the party avoiding that old man without telling anyone what happened. Thankfully, he seemed to be embarrassed and avoided me as much as I did him for the rest of the party. Looking back, years later with more life experience, I know now how lucky I was that day, and that I should have immediately gone looking for the hosts of the party for help.)

Taking A Different View On The Interview

, , , , , , , | Working | March 6, 2018

(I’ve come in for a job interview. The manager seems to like me and keeps asking me questions for 20 minutes, even though I don’t have previous experience in the job. The interview is wrapping up, and I feel like it’s gone pretty well.)

Manager: “Well, unfortunately, I’ve received an application from someone with previous experience doing this exact sort of work, and for that reason, he’s more qualified for the position. But if the other person hadn’t applied, I would definitely have hired you; I feel you could perform this job very well.”

Me: *upset, but plastering on a smile as best I can* “Oh. Well, thank you, anyway. Would it be possible for you to keep my resume on file, in case an opening comes up?”

Manager: “Oh, yes, of course.”

Me: “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

(We shake hands, and I get up and head for the door.)

Manager: “You know, if you manage to get experience somewhere else, please do feel free to come back and apply again.”

(I wish I had just smiled and given her a polite promise to do just that, but I was so surprised by her gall that I ended up making an involuntary, “Are you kidding me?” face, instead.)

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