My company does an awards-ceremony-type appreciation “event”, like a morale booster. Every quarter, they put out a bottle of (non-alcoholic) drink and some snacks and give out “funny” awards.

The trick to get out of it is to take a sneak peek at the human resources manager’s wall diary a few weeks before and schedule a customer visit. No matter how many times they reschedule it, I can still avoid it. (They haven’t figured it out yet!)

My coworker and I are outside on break, as are many others.

Coworker: “Hey, you missed the awards yesterday.”

Me: “I know, but you know, the customers come first, and they asked to see me. So what could I do?”

Coworker: “Oh, such bad luck. You won an award, by the way.”

Me: *Sarcastically* “Great. Cash prize, was it?”

Coworker: “Yeah, but I told them you would rather take the flowers.”

Like every other “prize” they give out.

Me: “Oh, you know me so well.”

Coworker: “I stuck them in water. You want them?”

Me: “Well, I could neglect them until they turn into potpourri. Or you can have them?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I already gave them to my wife. Thanks, by the way.”

Me: “Nothing says, ‘I love you,’ like a gift of flowers that you didn’t pay for.”

Coworker: *Joking* “Could you win another award in a few weeks? It’s her birthday.”

Me: “Such an old romantic. I—”

Before I can continue, I see [Coworker #2] rush in and toward the HR office. He is the same person who complained about me eating “foreign food” because it smelt too much (it was noodle soup) and that a charity collection shouldn’t be allowed because it wasn’t the corporate chosen one (it was for a coworker’s wife).

Me: “[Coworker #2] Cry Baby is causing issues again. If they ask you, tell them I told you to look after the flowers and we didn’t have this conversation.”

Coworker: “Come on. He isn’t going to complain about… Actually, yes, he probably is.”

And yes, we were pulled into HR with accusations of theft and bullying behaviour — also a new one: apparently using “triggering language” on purpose in front of [Coworker #2]. We denied everything, acted dumb, and stuck to our story. With absolutely no evidence, it went no further. 

Eventually, complaining about everything and everyone caught up to him. We got bought out and everyone had to reapply for their jobs; [Coworker #2] was the only one that wasn’t re-hired.

About two years ago, I started at a tech support help desk. I don’t have any certifications (A+ or N+, for example), but it’s not really needed here since we aren’t supposed to handle networking issues and we don’t have any actual hands-on with hardware. I just get computer stuff, so I just naturally fit the job. The tech support job is to do basic troubleshooting and learn basic software troubleshooting for the proprietary software that the company designed and supports.

There is no real training offered. New hires just get sat down by another tech that has a bit of experience, listen to them take incoming calls, learn how to create a new ticket, and maybe pick up on some basic issues and how to resolve them during their first day on the job. The second day, they are kind of just tossed to the wolves. There is no training manual to follow and the troubleshooting guides for the hardware and software we need to help customers with are scattered across multiple places; this includes new hardware and old hardware and new software and old software. Needless to say, it’s a cluster bomb.

I spent countless hours in my first six months constantly asking questions, reading up on software and hardware, and tracking down resolutions for problems, and pretty soon, I was more experienced than people that had been there for a couple of years. I taught myself how to navigate the MS Access databases used in the older software and learned how to rebuild databases from scratch. I found easier workarounds for problems and learned how to talk down to customers (without making it sound like I was) to find out specifically what their problem was. I excelled at the job, and the manager for the help desk took notice.

After about a year at the job, the help desk manager had me helping on calls when needed, but I was mostly going around and coaching other Tier 1 techs on how to resolve issues that are very suitable for T1 techs to handle and to stop escalating tickets to Tier 2 so often. Too many stupid issues were pushed to T2 because T1 didn’t know how to resolve them and no one was around to really train them.

I did this for about a year. I got a lot of T1 techs up to a reasonable level, but what I didn’t realize was that my own metrics were bad compared to all other T1 techs. Most T1 techs would usually handle thirty-five calls a day on average and close around twenty tickets a day, but with my manager having me walk the floor and help others, I handled around ten calls a day and closed around ten tickets a day. In my position, I was given a $.50 raise and therefore made more than the other T1 techs because I was considered a lead.

Around the two-year mark of my working at the company, in comes new upper management. They want to make an example of how good they are and they want to weed out the bad employees. This “big wig” manager runs his metric data and sees that I’m paid more, but I produce fewer results. He wants to fire me on the spot to set an example. Thankfully, my immediate manager takes the bullet.

Manager: “It was my call to pull [My Name] off the phones to help others. You shouldn’t fire him for my decision.”

Big Wig: “Put him back on the phones. If I don’t see any good results, I’m going to fire him.”

My manager pulls me off to the side the next morning.

Manager: “I have to put you back on the phones because your metrics aren’t good. I took the blame for my decision to pull you from the phones. I want to make sure I don’t lose you as an employee.”

Most T1 techs, as I stated earlier, average around thirty-five calls a day and close around twenty tickets a day. On my first day back on the phones — which is hard to get through — because I have so many T1 techs wanting me to come and help them — I take seventy-four calls and close out fifty-two tickets. This is a normal day for me; I just hammer out calls and close out tickets.

The very next morning, the big wig manager walks past me and pats me on the shoulder.

Big Wig: “Keep up the good work!”

My immediate manager sits and talks with me.

Manager: “I’m thrilled that you were able to put [Big Wig] in his place by blowing the rest of the help desk out of the water with your metrics! I walked into [Big Wig]’s office earlier with my chest puffed out and told him that it felt awesome to straight-up tell the new management team that was the reason why I took you off the phones — so you could help other T1 techs, so we’d handle more issues and take more calls as a team and not just rely on you to pick up the slack.”

A short while later, I was promoted to Tier 2 because I handled harder stuff that most other T2 techs didn’t know how to do. Then, I became the T2 lead, and the story kind of repeats itself. In came new management, and the whole song and dance started again.

Thankfully, I left the place right when the third new management team took over a few years later.

A customer gives me a voucher I don’t recognize.

Me: “I’ll need a manager to double-check this voucher. It looks different than what I’m used to, and I’m still pretty new at the job.”

The customer gets angry that it’s taking so long.

Me: “Sorry, but I’d rather not lose my job for processing this incorrectly.”

Customer: “I don’t care if you lose your job! Just do the voucher!”

I worked for a family-owned company for about nine years. I worked the warehouse, managed the showroom, and eventually managed the warehouse before I moved on. I thought the work was easy but required effort. Summer days it was hot in the warehouse, so you’d sweat. It was a warehouse job.

We, the warehouse guys, had gone a couple of years without any kind of raise and word got back to the owner that some of us were a bit irritated. He opted to do a little something for us, but it would be based on performance; the better we did, the more we’d see in return.

Not counting the warehouse manager, there were five warehouse employees. Every warehouse employee had four stores that we were in charge of pulling, packing, and shipping orders for each week. The owner said that for each order we pulled without having any mistakes on it, he would pay us an extra $10 per order. So, every week, every warehouse employee had the opportunity to earn an extra $40. In the end, if you pulled four perfect store orders every week for a full year, you could earn an extra $2,080; that comes out to a dollar raise.

The idea was great. The other guys and I were excited. Do your work, make a few extra bucks. What could go wrong?

Most store orders took around three or four hours of your day to pull, palletize, and make ready to ship. I could tear through these store lists and get my store pulled usually an hour or more before the others guys finished. I’d move on to other tasks — receiving, shipping parcels, and so on. The other guys started going slower and slower with their lists to make sure they were doing it 100% correctly to earn that extra $10. Going slower meant they weren’t helping out with other aspects of the job, such as cleaning, receiving, and helping with customers. Then, it would come down to the other warehouse guys trying to all help each other pull all the orders — some attempt to work together.

After a store order was pulled, staged, and shipped, when one of the satellite branches received the order, they would send us a mistake sheet of any inventory shipped incorrectly or missed. Any mistake on that sheet we’d double-check against our inventory to make sure the mistake was legit.

This whole extra-$10-deal lasted just shy of forty-four weeks. I kept all the correctly shipped store orders I had done. Each one was put in my desk drawer. Up until the day this all ended, I had 168 perfect pulled orders out of 175 that I did. That was an extra $1,680 I had earned that year.

The next closest warehouse guy to me had about 30 correctly pulled orders out of 175. This wasn’t really the problem, though. The problem was that these guys, since they helped each other pull each other’s orders, would spend hours a day arguing that someone else screwed up the order and it wasn’t their fault and they should still be given $10. This was a constant issue for months, along with them not helping with other aspects of the job, which means I was doing a lot of extra work without help. I went to the warehouse manager multiple times about how it was becoming irritating that I was not getting help with other tasks and the other guys were constantly fighting amongst themselves about why they should be paid an extra $10.

After nothing was done from my complaints, I walked into the warehouse manager’s supervisor’s office. I shut his door and explained the situation over the past few months. I told him I was done with the crying and lack of help and I wanted the $10 bonus canceled even though I was the one to lose out the most.

The supervisor agreed with me. We walked out to the warehouse, and he gathered everyone and told us all that the extra $10 bonus was done. The other warehouse guys were pissed. They started yelling at me and I just snapped right back that I was one that lost out the most in this situation because they couldn’t get their crap together and do their jobs correctly. I took my stack of 168 sheets I had from my perfectly pulled orders and threw them at the guys.

Me: “I had 168 perfectly pulled orders — that’s $1,680 — and here you guys are crying over the handful of perfect orders you managed to do. I’m pissed at you for screwing up something good because you can’t stop fighting with each other and can’t do your jobs correctly like you’re supposed to.”

Not one of the other warehouse guys said anything else after that. They knew I was pissed. I gave up something good, the bonus money, just so I could get more help from them as they always should have been doing.

It’s booster time at the pharmacy and the lobby is completely full of people: people standing in line to be helped and people sitting in chairs waiting for shots. We have TWO registers and a couple of computers for checking people in. People are picking up prescriptions, dropping off prescriptions, getting checked in for shots, getting rung out for shots, and also receiving their required paperwork to do shots. I am barely staying on top of helping everybody while I check people in and ring people out. We’re fully staffed but in the middle of a Monday morning rush.

Without warning, a customer comes up to the counter.

Customer: “My appointment was at 11:30.”

It’s now 12:15 pm.

Me: “Did you check in?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to check in; I did all that online.”

I’m thinking, “Okay, he just made his appointment online, showed up at 11:30, and sat his butt down expecting someone would eventually give him a shot.”

Customer: “You’re not doing your job. I want to speak to the pharmacy manager!”

Me: “The pharmacy manager is not here, but I can get the store manager.”

Customer: *Pointing* “Who’s that guy over there?”

Me: “He’s our staff pharmacist.”

He gets angry and accuses me again of not doing my job, saying that he shouldn’t have to check in, so I go page the store manager.

Customer: “I have to leave soon. Just give me my shot.”

In the time this has taken, my coworkers and I have managed to check him in.

Me: “You have to fill out this paperwork and I have to ring you out.”

Customer: “I’ll fill out the paper; just give me my shot.”

I hand him the paper and he starts to walk away. At this point, the store manager shows up.

Store Manager: “What’s going on?”

Me: “This guy has a problem with us.”

The store manager went to talk to him, so I went in the back part of the pharmacy and complained to my coworkers about the insanity of it all.

When you go to a doctor’s office, you check in at the counter and you sit down and patiently wait for a nurse to call you back. Not once have I ever seen somebody throwing a self-entitled tantrum at the doctor’s office. Yet people seem to find it okay to abuse hard-working pharmacy employees who are trying their best to help everyone.