A Closed Open Policy

, , , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(We have a company meeting at another location that digs into time that would normally be spent doing weekly audits of our ATM machine. At the meeting I ask [Coworker] to leave for our branch ASAP so that we can finish before we open. [Coworker] takes her time, and arrives 15 minutes after I do. I set everything up so that all she has to do is punch in her code and we can start balancing. Instead of assisting, [Coworker] punches in her code and then checks her email, applies lipstick, and logs on to social media, all while I’m frantically counting cash, balancing it against spread sheets, and strapping it to load back in. Finally I finish.)

Me: “[Coworker], can you punch in your code again?”

Coworker: *in the nastiest tone possible* “Oh, now you need me.”

Me: “You could have helped me this whole time! I needed help.”

Coworker: “You could have waited for me. Everyone knows you need at least 15 minutes to settle in before you actually start working.”

(We opened late that day.)

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It Was A Long Friday Night

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(The video game store I work at is in a mall with mostly retail stores, but a couple of snack-type stores and one sit-down style pizza restaurant. It’s about 10:30 am on a Saturday and the store is empty at the moment. A man with a very angry look on his face comes in directly to me.)

Customer: “Is there any place in the mall that sells alcohol?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure that [Pizza Place] has a bar, but—”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The man turns and walks hurriedly out of the store in the direction of [Pizza Place].)

Me: *finishing what I was going to say, to myself* “…but they don’t open until noon.”

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You Pay Like A Girl

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I’m a female heavy-duty mechanic. I get put to work on a customer’s truck that I’ve been warned is a pain in the a**. I get finished with his truck with no problem and bring him over to my service writer to finish paperwork.)

Service Writer: “Please sign here.”

Customer: “Do I get a cheaper price because she’s a girl?”

Me: “…”

Service Writer: No.”

Customer: “Why not? Other places do it.”

(There is a moment of silence as my service writer glares at the man and I focus harder on my paperwork so that I don’t swear at him.)

Service Writer: *finally breaking the silence* “We don’t work like that here.”

Customer: *grumbles and walks away*

Me: “Did he really say that?”

Service Writer: “Yup, and he’s not even paying the bill. His boss is.”

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Trying To Fulfill Your Delivery Period

, , , , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(I work as a delivery driver for a well-known supermarket. I’m 25 and male but quite familiar with the concept of a woman’s period and tampons. I’m training a new driver, and our current customer appears to have placed an “emergency order,” since their shopping only contains a box of tampons, some tea bags, and some chocolate. I look to my trainee and say:)

Me: “Okay, this next customer has a small order, but my advice is be patient. If she doesn’t answer the door right away, give it a few. She probably won’t want to be wound up.”

Trainee: “Why, is she a b****? Have you delivered before?”

Me: “Umm, no. Just look at the receipt, mate; it’s quite obvious what’s going on here.”

(The trainee looks at the receipt long and hard, but it doesn’t appear to sink in. Eventually I take pity on him.)

Me: “She might be on her period; she’s bought tampons, chocolate, and tea.”

Trainee:What!? I ain’t going near that! It’s disgusting!”

(He refused to even leave the van to make the delivery and generally acted like I might have caught some kind of taint just by being around a woman who may or may not have been on her period.)

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Turning You Into A Preposition

, , , , , | Learning | October 17, 2017

(It is the first day of school.)

Me: “Hey, where is the cafeteria at?”

Other Student: *snottily* “Never end a sentence with a preposition.”

Me: “Okay, then. Where’s the cafeteria at, b****?”

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