My 23-year-old brother-in-law is a six in looks and a two in personality. He is the youngest out of four siblings, so on top of having the spoiled baby syndrome, he is egotistical, selfish, and condescending. He is not above making fun of things like speech impediments to make himself feel superior or talking down to people, despite being the kind of guy who could easily be hit by a bus by not looking both ways.

He also is an electrical engineer which, for non-engineers, means he has a God-complex and is always right. And for whatever reason, this catch of a man thinks he deserves the perfect woman by his standards: a ten physically and a fifteen intellectually and a personality that matches him, despite never taking the time to get to know any of these girls. It is sufficient to say that he is squarely single and can’t figure out why from these encounters:

Date #1: He decides not to see a girl after having sex on the first date, because it was “just okay.” Naturally, he ghosts her.

Date #2: He decides not to see a girl again because she is an ER nurse and he is offended that she is late to their first date.

Date #3: Potential girlfriend refuses to get physical and just wants to hold hands because this is her first date ever.

Date #4: The girl is religious so that makes her automatically insane.

Date #5: She hasn’t seen one obscure anime, so she must have lied to him about liking anime.

The list of his jerky exploits goes on and on and on as he picks out a new insecure girl only to reject them in a horrible, self-righteous manner. I think he is going to be single for a while. If only he would stop going on dates and screwing with these poor girls.

(I am working at the circulation desk at the library when a woman comes up with a stack of VHS tapes that she wants to check out for her son, who looks to be about three. As part of the checkout, we open the boxes and make sure that the videos match the box. 

One of the videos doesn’t match the box, so I tell the mom I won’t be able to check that one out to her.)

Mom: “But he’ll cry!”

(Wishing I could just tell her that the kid will only cry if SHE makes a big deal out of not getting the one video, I explain again that I cannot check out that video because it is not the one that is on the box.)

Mom: “But he’ll cry!”

(I offer to hang on to the videos while she goes and gets another one to replace the one I can’t check out.)

Mom: “But he’ll cry!”

(I start to point out that if her son really wants that video and it isn’t in the box… And then Mom shouts:)

Mom: “You don’t UNDERSTAND!”

(She shoved the whole pile of videos across the counter at me, grabbed the kid’s hand, and dragged him out. And yes, he cried.)

(I have just handed the check to a table of four young customers who look like they might be in high school. Their bill is $42.58 and they leave me $43 in cash. I immediately chase after them as they are just leaving the building, thinking it must have been a mistake.)

Me: “Hey, guys! I was just wondering if something was wrong with my service tonight? You only left me 42 cents as a tip.” 

Customer: “Well, no, there wasn’t a problem. We just didn’t have enough money extra to leave you a tip.” 

Me: “Okay… Just so I’m understanding correctly… you think it’s acceptable to come into a restaurant and order enough food that you can barely pay for down to basically the last penny and then not tip your server?” 

Customer: “Well… like I said… we just didn’t have enough left over.” 

Me: “Then next time you want to come out, either make sure you have enough money to pay for what you want, assuming you all can add correctly, and either order less food so you can tip appropriately… or, to save everyone the headache, just stay home. Because now, when I clock out of here tonight, I will have to tip out the bar, the bus boy, and pay taxes from all the tips I made, which technically means it cost me money to wait on you. That is literally the opposite of what my purpose is in coming to work every day. So, thank you very much for wasting my time. If you come back, just be aware that I will absolutely refuse to serve you and I can’t tell you that anyone else here will want to, either. Have a nice night!” 

(One of the girls came in to complain to my manager, but when he heard my side of the story, too, he basically laughed in her face and told her that we don’t really need customers like them, anyway. At the end of the night, he even bought me a beer. WINNING.)

I’m supervising the checkouts in my supermarket. There is a section of about eight to ten checkouts where the customers can scan, pack, and pay for their items themselves.

It’s a busy day and all the regular checkouts have fairly large queues. I can see one gentleman getting frustrated and he decides to enter the self-service checkouts.

The checkouts have a weighing mechanism built into them so that the shopping you have in your basket at the beginning matches the weight of your bags at the end.

This customer keeps placing items on the floor and the automated checkout keeps telling him to place the shopping in his bag… It’s not rocket science! 

One of my checkout girls who supervises the self-service checkouts explains the process to the customer and he huffs and puffs and mumbles under his breath. This goes on for about five minutes and he is really getting angry!

Finally, he scans his last item and tries to scan his coupons to get money off some of the items he purchased. Again he fails miserably and really begins shouting at my member of staff, who is fairly new and very timid but polite and very good at her job. He is getting quite aggressive and is making personal remarks about the lack of service the assistant is providing.

I am just about to step in, but she waves me away and gestures that she is okay and is handling the situation. 

Finally, the customer pays with his card, turns, and shouts at the checkout girl again and exits the store.

She looks at me and smiles and points down to the bagging area and we both start laughing; Mr. Grumpy Pants paid for his shopping and left it all behind!

He never came back for his shopping!

(I used to work as a front desk/secretary/whatever the h*** the owners thought they needed for a furniture store. Hindsight being what it is, I brought a lot of the issues on myself because I didn’t fight hard enough at the beginning, but still…)

Manager: “I need you to come in tomorrow for a few hours because I have to take my daughter to the dentist.”

(I normally have Tuesday and Wednesday off, but she is asking me to come in on Tuesday.)

Me: “Sure. But since you’re going to be so long, can I just work all day and then take the next Wednesday and Thursday off, instead?”

(Timing-wise, between appointments and travel to and from the office, getting her daughter back to school and then getting to the store, the day is going to be like two-thirds done.)

Manager: “That should be fine.”

(On the day of the dentist appointment, the manager shows up and the day is actually like 80% over.)

Manager: “Oh, by the way, I need you in on Thursday because I won’t be here.”

Me: *stunned silence*