(My boyfriend and I are at a café waiting for my sister. The waitress comes and gives us menus. We take some minutes to choose and are ready to order.)

Waitress #1: “Hello! Are you ready to order?”

Me: “Yes! I’m interested in a cappuccino, but do you have any plant-based milks available?”

Waitress #1: “Yes, we do; we have soy, almond, and oat milk.”

Me: “Oh, that’s great! We’ll have two cappuccinos with almond milk, a salad, and a [Meal].”

Waitress #1: “Great. I’ll be right back with the drinks.”

(A couple of minutes later she returns with our drinks. We enjoy the coffee and chat. About half an hour later, my sister arrives and joins us. [Waitress #2] takes my sister’s order. We tell her we have already ordered. All seems well. My sister gets her food, even though we ordered about half an hour prior to her. I start to notice that most of the customers who came after us are eating their food already. I go to the register to address the concern.)

Me: “Hey. I’m sorry, but we ordered about an hour ago and still haven’t gotten our food. Unfortunately, I don’t have much time left.”

Waitress #1: “It’s very busy, and there’s a waiting time of about an hour. The cooks are already preparing your meal; it should be out soon. I can tell the cooks to hurry up.”

Me: “Oh, all right. Thank you!”

(I ordered a salad that doesn’t need much preparing time. Later the waitress comes to our table.)

Waitress #1: “So, the kitchen doesn’t have your order. Who took your order?”

Me: *baffled at this point* “You were the one that took our order.”

(She shows me her notebook at a random page.)

Waitress #1: “See? There’s no order! You didn’t order. What did you order?”

Me: “Two cappuccinos, a salad, and a [Meal].”

Waitress #1: “I’ll be right back with your cappuccinos.”

Me: “No, you already brought us our cappuccinos an hour ago. Look: I’d just like to pay for the coffee and leave.”

(Just to be sure, I went to the cashier to pay. I’ve never in my life had a waitress show me her notebook. She never did apologize for that situation. Later I realised I could’ve just left without paying anything, since I “never placed an order.”)

(We are watching a local pantomime. For those who don’t know the genre, it is a comedy play geared towards children and families with lots of audience participation. This one is a parody of a popular sci-fi franchise. The villain has just proclaimed their evil plan to blow up the world, to the heroes, who are in shocked silence…)

Child In Audience: “YOU SUCK!”

(I work at a one-hour-turnaround personalised gifts store. It’s closing time and all the computers and lights are turned off, but the shutter is still open. A customer rushes in, anyway.)

Customer: “Are you closed?”

Me: “Yes, but we can take your order for tomorrow.”

Customer: “For tomorrow? But you do things in one hour!”

Related:

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 26

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 25

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 24

(My toddler’s first word was “hiya,” and it’s probably still her favourite one. Strangers usually take her open nature very well, and I tell them that if they talk to her they’re her friends for life. Our apartment block’s ground floor consists of commercial units, so it’s a common occurrence to meet delivery drivers when leaving the car park. We are going out for a walk, and [Daughter] is in one of her make-friends-with-everybody moods.)

Daughter: *to everyone and everything* “Hiya! Hiya!”

Delivery Driver: *turns around as he’s carrying a load into the shop* “Hiya! How are you?”

Daughter: “Hiya!”

Delivery Driver: “Hiya!” *brings load inside*

Daughter: *to shop owner* “Hiya!”

Owner: *looks up* “Hello.”

Daughter: “Hiya!”

(The driver comes back out.)

Delivery Driver: “Hiya! You’re a chatty wee one, aren’t you?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. She’s friends with everyone in the world!”

Delivery Driver: “Ah, I wonder where she gets that from?”

Me: *laughing* “Me, too!”

(We keep walking, and we get to a corner at a bottleneck when a delivery truck stops.)

Delivery Driver: “Hiya!”

Daughter: *silent, but she recognises him so she smiles*

Delivery Driver: “Ahh, are we all shy, now?”

Me: “Yep, when you talk to her first, she’s quiet. She wouldn’t stop talking up until now!”

Driver: “Ah, that’s okay. Come here!” *he holds up a lollipop* “I got two of these; here you go!”

Me: “Oh, wow! Say, ‘Thank you,’ [Daughter]!”

(I lift her up to the door to take it.)

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Daughter: “Hiya!”

Driver: “Hiya! You’re a great girl! You be good for your mammy, now!”

Daughter: *waves* “Bye bye!”

(This isn’t as rare of an occurrence as you’d think; she is literally friends with everyone, and strangers often give her things. I’m hoping that I can teach her to be just as generous!)

(I worked doing door-to-door sales on commission for an animal shelter. I’m doing really well this particular day, in a very rich neighbourhood, and I come to one of the biggest houses I’ve ever seen. I ring the bell and a lady wearing a bright green dress and eating fries out of a Happy Meal answers with a big smile on her face.)

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name] and I’m selling a few bits and bobs to raise money for [Animal Shelter].”

Lady: “What animals are in the shelter?”

Me: “Mainly dogs, but there are also cats and donkeys.”

Lady: *raising her voice incredibly loudly* “Dogs! Filthy, disgusting , horrible animals! How dare you ask me to support f****** dogs?! They should all be thrown into a fire, cooked, and eaten! Or better, eaten alive!” *proceeds to spit at my feet then slams the door in my face*

Me: *walking away* “Holy jaysus…”