A man is calling about a car insurance quote he says he got online through a price comparison site that he can no longer find a record of. I’ve tried everything to find his quote but nothing comes up.

Eventually, I learn that it was almost five weeks ago that he got the quote, so I tell him it’s most likely not valid anymore as we only hold quotes for thirty days. He gets angry and demands a manager.

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but [My Name] is correct. If you didn’t accept the quote at the time, then the price is most likely no longer available.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous. You’re violating the rules set by the financial conduct authority.”

Manager: *Feigning ignorance* “Which rules are these, sir?”

Caller: *Sputters* “The rules! Where once you’ve given a price to a customer you have to honour it.”

Manager: “Did you accept the quote when you got it?”

Caller: “No.”

Manager: “How long did you think the price was to remain valid?”

Caller: “Until I bought it, of course.”

Manager: “So, if I’m understanding correctly you expected insurance prices to remain exactly the same, forever, just to suit yourself?”

Caller: “You can’t treat a customer like this.”

Manager: “But you’re not a customer. You’ve admitted you don’t have a policy with us, and frankly, there’s not much point in us continuing this conversation as I can do nothing more for you. You can get a new quote online or speak to [My Name] for a quote.”

Caller: “Fine, but I want a discount for all the hassle you put me through.”

Manager: “Hassle?”

Caller: “Yes! I’ve been on the phone now for thirty minutes. I could’ve been doing something else with my time, you know.”

Manager: “That was your own choice, sir, so no, I will not authorise a discount. You could’ve chosen to believe my colleague when she told you the price wasn’t available, but you decided to wait and hear it from a manager.”

Caller: “You people are disgusting. Hiking up the prices and lying to customers.”

Manager: “Sir, rates change for a multitude of reasons, but if there’s nothing else I can help you with, I will disconnect our call here, as there appears to be nothing more I can do for you.”

Caller: “You can help me save money and stop stealing from good people!”

Manager: “Well! Let me help you save money on your phone bill, then.”

Caller: “What, how?”

Manager: *Click*

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Back when PPI (Payment Protection Insurance) was a massive scandal in the UK, I worked in a PPI complaints department for a pretty bad credit card company. This American card company gave cards to those no one else would dare, leading to a lot of bad debts.

If PPI was mis-sold, we would issue a letter offering a refund amount for the customer to accept, sign, and return. Underneath the signature area was a very important statement:

Statement: “If your account is not in good standing, this refund will be used to offset any debt and the remainder will be paid to you within [number] weeks of returning.”

At least eight times a day, I’d have to explain to a customer that they weren’t receiving their refund for whatever amount due to their account being in bad debt status and how we’d reduced their debt for their own benefit as per the instruction under their signature. It was amazing how many customers had already spent their refunds before receiving them and thought that having a payment plan for £10 a month with collections on a £7000 debt meant they were up to date with their payments and should receive their refunds.

Luckily, we were the accounts managers; there was no one to escalate to, and we just held firm until they gave up. I loved that job.

I help people sign up for Medicare insurance plans and answer questions, whether they’re related to medicare or not, to the best of my ability. This is a memorable call.

Customer #1: “Can you get Medicare at age seventeen?”

Me: “It’s possible, if unusual. If—”

There is a second person apparently listening to the phone on speaker.

Customer #2: “Don’t you need to be sixty-five?”

Me: “Everyone can get it at sixty-five, but people on Social Security Disability can get it earlier, as well as people with kidney failure.”

Customer #1: “So, it can be done before age sixty-five?”

Me: “Seventeen is rare, but it’s possible. There are other conditions that can get it for you early, as well, like Lou Gehrig’s disease.”

Customer #2: “But you don’t really get it before sixty-five—”

Customer #1: “Nuh-uh, he said it’s possible. You lost the bet, so—”

They disconnected the call at that point. I’ve done many things in this job, but I’ve never settled a bet before today.

When I am working for an insurance broker, one of my tasks is to do daily banking, mail, etc. On the way, I pass the office of a large and well-known insurance company. We used to do a fair amount of business with this company, so I know the people who work there pretty well.

One day, as I walk past, I glance at their window and notice a new poster. I stop and look at it and think, “Hmm, should I say something?”

I am in a hurry to get to the bank, so I go on. On the way back, though, I can’t resist it, so I go in.

Three of the employees I know are in the front office, and after we all greet each other, one asks me what they can do for me.

Me: “Since you are an insurance company, don’t you think your posters should have spelt ‘Insurance’ properly?”

Shock, horror! All of these posters had been sent all over the state and each one — in big, bold letters — had “Insurnance” on them.

My car insurance has autopay set up so that every quarter, they take the money out of my bank account. They should take the money out of my account on June first to pay for June, July, and August. Toward the end of June, I notice they have not taken the money out of my account, so I decide to call.

Me: “Hello. I have my account set on autopay, but I don’t see that the money has been withdrawn. Can you see if I still need to pay?”

Insurance Rep: “I have your account pulled up. It looks like you’re set up on autopay and you’re past due.”

Me: “If I’m on autopay, how am I past due?”

I have more than enough money in my bank account for the insurance, so there’s no way it would have been declined if they tried to withdraw.

Insurance Rep: “Uhhhh… would you like to pay over the phone?”

I just paid over the phone, but a few days later, I got an email from a credit monitoring service saying that my credit score had taken a dip, most likely because I was past due on my bill. Not sure how that happened, but I’m already planning on switching insurance carriers for something more affordable.