Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

That Cat Snake Just Noodled His Way Right In!

, , , , , , , | Friendly | January 19, 2023

I opened my back door one day, and something small and furry darted past my feet, causing my three cats to start yowling and running around like crazy. It moved too fast for me to see it properly and immediately took up residence behind my fridge. Given I’d been trapping stray kittens in my yard for the last few weeks, I assumed it was another little kitten. My bravest cat stuck her face behind the fridge and then ran off meowing with a scratch on her nose, further leading me to the kitten conclusion.

I wriggled my fridge forward as best I could. I could see a small ball of fluff back there, so I bravely reached in, grabbed it, and hauled it out.

It kept coming… and coming… and coming. It took my brain a second to process that instead of a stray kitten, I was now holding a very pretty sable ferret. The ferret, to its credit, seemed happy to be held and was making happy little squeaking noises and sniffing my hand.

I was standing in my kitchen, holding a ferret, absolutely dumbstruck about what my next move was when I heard someone knocking on my front door. 

I opened it a crack to find a very exasperated neighbor and his daughter, around seven.

Neighbor: “Hi. I’m so sorry, but my daughter’s ferret has gotten out and we think he might have gotten into your yard. Is it okay if we go back there to check?”

I opened the door further and held out the wriggling little tube-shaped rat who had clearly heard his family’s voices and was now making a bid for freedom.

Me: “I hope this is him. Otherwise, something super weird is happening.”

Daughter: *Absolutely filled with glee* “YOSHI!”

Autocorrect May Need To Talk To Human Resources

, , , , , , , , , , | Working | December 1, 2022

A former (and lovely) boss of mine was called Joanna, but everyone referred to her as Jo.

During lockdown, we were all working from home and would communicate mostly via email or online messaging.

She’d often send us information, to which I would reply, “Thanks, Jo,” but the stupid autocorrect on my phone changed the J to H, so I once replied to my boss, “Thanks, Ho!”

*Facepalm*

Related:
Autocorrect Picks The Weirdest Words
Autocorrect Has Daddy Issues
Autocorrect Rears Its Ugly Head Again
Autocorrect Causing Friction Once Again
Autocorrect Is Cat-atonic

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 31

, , , , , , | Right | August 15, 2022

CONTENT WARNING: Gross

 

I run a bookshop. Some years ago — before the Internet became so widespread — I received a phone call from a man looking for books on breastfeeding.

Okay, some guys like to understand what’s going on and feel involved. I find a book.

Man: “Are there lots of pictures?”

Turns out his sister had just had a baby and watching her feed the little one had gotten him rather excited. He wanted something he could… enjoy himself… with.

To this day, I’m still not sure if this was a prank call or not. (He never came in for the book.)

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 30
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 29
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 28
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 27
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 26

At Least You Weren’t “That” Customer

, , , , , | Working | March 11, 2022

I was approaching the counter at a local pharmacy. I was the only one checking out at the time. I walked around a divider in the way.

The girl behind the counter politely pointed out that the entry was actually around the other side, so I backtracked and came around the other way.

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t see the sign.”

Assistant: “Oh, there isn’t one!”

I’m Glad Someone Here Knows What’s Going On

, , , , , , | Related | August 19, 2021

I manage support for mainframe computers and have done so for many years. My kids have grown up around a great deal of tech, but I’ve never taught them anything specifically related to mainframe.

I am out shopping with my oldest daughter, who is a teen, when I got a call. Since we are close to the office and it is a weekend, I just take her in with me. She can read a book and wait until the problem is fixed. It’s not uncommon when you’re the support lead, so she knows the drill.

As often is the case, one problem leads to another problem. We’ve been in the office about three hours by this point, and there are now three of us support staff in the office, plus my daughter.

All of a sudden, my daughter gets up and walks over to where my employee is working. Though he is the youngest of us three, he has at least a decade on my daughter.

Daughter: *Pointing to something on the screen* “That job is blocking up the queue. It’s sorting the records by time, but it’s trying to recalculate all the time to daylight saving and that takes longer. Just delete it and tell the Red team that they need to run job 8-B. Job 8-A only gets run on the night daylight saving switches over, and it’ll be replaced when [project] finishes, anyway. The problems on [system 1 and 2] are cascaded because job 8-A’s mucking up the times in the records in real time.”

All three of us turn to look at her.

Me: “[Daughter], why do you think that’s the problem?”

Daughter: “It’s the same problem you had on CICS4 last week.”

I may talk about my work in front of my kids more than I realised. Yes, she was right.


This story is part of our Best Of August 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of August 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of August 2021 roundup!