I’m at my parents’ house when a solicitor rings their bell.

Solicitor: “Hi! I’m [Solicitor] with [Company]! Have you considered getting new windows for your home?”

Mom: “Yes. Two years ago. From your company. Which are the windows you’re currently looking at. So, either you didn’t look at the windows prior to ringing my bell, or you’re saying that the company’s windows aren’t the quality they claim to be if I have to be replacing them every two years.”

It is Sunday. We are closed for the day, yet I’m cleaning inside. The phone goes off, and I automatically receive the call.

Caller: “Hello? Is this [Our Store]?”

Me: “Yes, it is. I’m sorry, but we’re closed for today.”

Caller: “Oh? But your website said you were open.”

Me: “The page must be old; we don’t open on Sundays anymore.”

Caller: “But the website said that you are.”

Me: “I can assure you that we are closed.”

Caller: “Why are you there, then? Surely you’d only be there if you were open?”

Me: “No, I’m cleaning the shop to get it ready for tomorrow. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you until we are open.”

Caller: “But I’m just outside [Our Store]. Can I just pop in to grab some stuff? I’ll be quick.”

Me: “No can do. We are closed today.”

Caller: “Oh, please, I won’t be long.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no.”

Caller: “Oh, for f***’s sake! I’ve just driven halfway across town to come here! Just let me in!”

Me: “No, I will not. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some tidying to do. Good day.”

I hang up.

A few minutes later, I see the woman walking up to the window. She looks really angry and annoyed. The door is locked, thankfully, so she just bangs on the glass. I calmly walk up to the door and open it.

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Look, don’t waste my time. I just want to grab [product] from inside. I won’t take long at all!”

Me: “I’ve told you this multiple times: no. But you do realise that you can get [product] from [Shop] over there?”

I point to a shop just across the road.

Customer: “Really?! Well, why didn’t you say so? Thank you. See? That wasn’t too hard, was it? You could have told me that ages ago.”

Me: “Ma’am, you didn’t mention that you were buying [product], so I didn’t think to tell you.”

Customer: “Well, still, you should have been paying attention. Anyway, I can assure you that I am never coming back to this shop. The service is terrible!”

Me: “We are closed today! How many times do I have to repeat myself?”

Customer: “But your website said you were open!”

Me: *Finally losing it* “Oh, my God!”

This could go on for a long time.

I have just pressed my button to close my till, which turns the light from green to red, as well as announcing across the tannoy that “Till [number] is now closed; we’d be happy to serve you at another.” I have one customer that I am finishing up with, and there is one left behind him. Three other tills are still open.

Another customer comes up and starts unloading onto the belt.

Me: “Excuse me, sir. This till is now closed.”

Customer: *Quite snippy* “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

Me: *Pointing at the various lights* “When a till is closed, the light is red, but if you look, the green ones indicate that the till is open and available to serve you.”

Customer: *Snapping angrily* “You expect me to look at signs for myself?!”

At this, the gentleman I am still serving actually barks out laughing.

Me: “Well, I mean, generally, in life, yes, we should be able to read signs? I honestly don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

At that, my customer doubled over in fits of laughter, which caused the angry one to snatch up his shopping and storm off.

I work at a museum in a city, and most of the time, I use public transportation. Once, on one of my days off, I rented a car to go on a day trip. The salesman was friendly and helpful as he got me signed in.

Rental Salesman: “Okay, here is your key fob. When you leave this office, you’re going to go straight and then make a U-turn to go down the escalator. As soon as you reach the bottom, go straight. The first five rows will have cars from [Other Company], but if you keep going, you’ll find [Company] cars. Your car should be in the first row, but it might be further back. If you press this button on the key fob, the car will unlock and you can find it because the lights will flash.”

He said it all in a very straightforward, matter-of-fact voice, but I was a little bemused. Did I really look so dumb that I wouldn’t understand how keyless entry works? But I thanked him and went on my way.

After my trip, I went back to work. At one point, a visitor approached me and asked where the bathroom was. Our complex was made up of three buildings, but due to the historic nature of the site, only one had public bathrooms, which weren’t visible from where we were standing. Still, they were only about twenty to thirty feet away.

Me: “Go straight down this hallway and leave this building, and then take a sharp right. You’ll see the doors to the bathrooms on the outside of the next building.”

The visitor walked to the end of the hallway, looked around, and stopped in the open doorway. She turned back.

Visitor: “I don’t see them.”

Me: “Go outside, and they’re on the right.”

She stepped over the threshold, looked around again, and started walking toward the building on the left. I sighed and went after her.

It wasn’t the first time something like that happened, nor was it the last, and I silently apologized to the rental salesman for taking offense. It’s not personal; it’s just dealing with customers.

I work in a movie theater. We have a regular who is always a problem when she comes in. She never wants to get her phone app fixed, never understands how the till rings up discounts and assumes we’re not giving her the upsizes or discounts she uses her points for, and always gets upset with how we make her food orders.

Today, she came in and got helped by my coworker. She was already fussy by the time we rang her up. Due to how our system works, my coworker had to ring up her points first before ringing up her concessions. As she was about to pay, my coworker nicely said:

Coworker: “The till that I am on is not a cash till.”

We don’t have all of them with cash in them every day.

Customer: “You should just give me change from another till.”

Coworker: “No, that isn’t possible.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why not.”

Coworker: “This is not a cash till.”

Customer: “Where does it say that?”

[Coworker] pointed to the sign hanging off the till right in her line of view.

Customer: “Well, next time, you should point the sign out to me!”

She did not upsize her concessions (as she originally wanted), said she was running late, and walked off.