A customer reads out the warning label on some hand sanitizer.

Customer: “’For external use only.’ D***, I was planning on douching with these.”

I had a guy come into our store and pick up a box of tampons.

Customer: “Can these stop diarrhea?”

Me: “I don’t think so, sir. They’re for—”

Customer: “Yes, they can! They’ll work!”

He was adamant they could, so we just let him buy them. His a** was definitely not happy with him for that one.

I work at a grocery store in the apparel department. Fitting rooms are open to the public but have to be unlocked with a key. My job is to sit at the fitting rooms, let people in, and answer the phones to the store. I’m pregnant, so my store lets me have a chair at the fitting room which I usually have in front of a fan so I’m not melting all day.

I have a handheld to do my work on while I’m sitting in this chair, and a manager sits nearby with another handheld marking down a rack of clothes. In walks a gentleman trying on clothes. No problem. I let him in, and he comes back about two more times with different items. This takes place the third time.

Me: “Welcome back. How many this time?”

He rolls his eyes and scoffs at me. I look at him, confused. He smirks.

Customer: “Maybe I should just get a job here.”

I let out a small chuckle.

Me: “Why’s that?”

Customer: “Well, maybe I’d get to sit around and play on my phone all day like you.”

Immediately, my manager pops her head around from where she’s sitting.

Manager: “Excuse me?! She isn’t just sitting around on her phone. That’s a work device. The only reason she’s sitting is that she’s pregnant. That was uncalled for.”

I just stood up awkwardly and let him into the rooms again. He got real quiet and hurried away when he was done. We talked a bunch of crud when he left. I’m just glad that the manager had my back.

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 26
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 25
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 24
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 23
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 22

I get an email setting up a phone interview for a practical dream job.

The big day comes, and I’m hanging around my phone. It’s incredibly hot, and out of nervousness, I quickly open my refrigerator and gulp down some soda. My phone rings, I rush over and answer it…

…and this colossal, earth-shattering burp escapes from my mouth.

No, I didn’t get the job.

I am going through chemo. Eating is a challenge, few things sound good, and fewer taste okay. I’ve learned that even water can taste bad on chemo. I am out with my mom and niece for dinner. I’ve eaten a side dish of gnocchi at this restaurant before and it actually sounds appealing.

Me: “I’m wondering if I can order a double portion of the gnocchi and no entrée? I’ve had it before and it’s really good.”

Waiter: “I’ll check and see if I can do that.”

Mom: “Just so you know, my daughter is going through chemo and rarely wants to eat, so if she can eat this, it would be great.”

The waiter comes back and says of course they will do that for me. It’s really good and it’s so nice to eat a meal!

Later, he returns with a piece of their amazing Key Lime pie for me.

Waiter: “I had a grandmother go through chemo, and citrus flavors usually worked for her. I hope you can enjoy it.”

He had me in tears. When they brought our check, they had comped my food.

We stopped on the way out to talk to his manager. It’s sad; she came out looking apprehensive since people are so much more likely to complain than compliment. We told her how much we appreciated our waiter and how kind he had been. She said she was glad we stopped; his requests had been a little odd and she was glad to meet me. She said I could come back anytime for the gnocchi. And I did!