Apron And Staying On!

, | Bellevue, Washington, USA | Romantic | December 4, 2016

(I am working as a deli clerk at a very well-known grocery chain. We used to have blue shirts and a black apron. However, we have recently switched to green aprons. An older male customer, who is also missing teeth, comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi, sir! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, I just have a question. Do you like your uniforms?”

Me: *thinking this is a strange question, but there seems to be no harm in answering* “Well, I don’t mind the blue shirts, because that is my favorite color. The green aprons combined with the blue shirts are kind of a bad combination, though.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I bet you would look great in just the apron.”

Me: “…”

Some Customers Are Just Too Much

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | Right | December 2, 2016

(I am in my second year of employment as a bagger at a higher-end grocery store that sells itself on its all natural and organic products, all of which are at a significant mark-up. It’s late at night; the only people on the floor are two service leaders and me. A customer with a cart near overflowing comes to the register. She unloads her cart, almost entirely comprised of organic foods, and we set about getting the order completed. I am nearly finished bagging.)

Cashier: “That will be [three-figure price].”

Customer: *stated, with no emotion in her voice* “Oh, that’s too much.”

(As it is late, we are tired, and unsure of what the customer wants us to do about it.)

Cashier: “Well, most of what you bought was all organic, and that is more expensive than the non-organic.”

Customer: *still emotionless* “That’s too much.”

(At this point, the customer starts looking around, and it occurs to us that she is hoping another customer, of which there are none, will heroically come to her rescue and pay for the not insignificant cost of her groceries. Upon realizing that she is alone, she looks back at us.)

Customer: “I only have 75 dollars.”

Cashier: “Well, would you like us to take something off of your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, lemme see…”

(The customer proceeds, taking no more than two items off at a time, again hoping that someone will come to her financial rescue. A half-an-hour later, we have reduced her order to only a handful of very expensive items, but are below the 75 dollar limit. She pays, and walks out, leaving the belt covered in her excess groceries. As the woman leaves the building, the cashier turns to me.)

Cashier: “Did she really think someone was going to pay for her groceries at 10:30 at night?”

Me: “I try not to think about it. It just makes my head hurt.”

Irresponsibly Entitled

| USA | Right | December 1, 2016

(I am the cashier serving a woman with a very full grocery cart. Her son, who looks to be around four, is hanging from the handle, swinging like he’s trying to be a monkey and making the cart tip back slightly.)

Me: “Honey, it’s not really a good idea to do that. The cart could tip over and fall on you.”

Woman: “Don’t tell my son what he can or can’t do! That’s not your job!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’m merely trying to prevent him from hurting himself.”

(At this point the cart’s front wheels are lifting off the ground every time the boy swings. His mother just shrugs.)

Woman: “If he does then I’ll just sue you for having unsafe carts and take you for everything you’re worth!”

Me: “Actually, no, you can’t. I’ve officially given both you and your son fair warning that what he’s doing is dangerous and could lead to injury, therefore I’ve fulfilled the legal requirements for health and safety. Whatever happens from here on is squarely your fault and your fault alone.”

Woman: “But…”

Me: “And if you’re going to try and lie about it to my manager or a lawyer, please direct your attention to the cameras overhead. They record both picture and sound so that’s additional confirmation I did everything I could to keep you and your son safe and thus you are entirely at fault for not stopping him.”

(The cart suddenly tips backwards, and the boy loses his grip on the handle. Miraculously it doesn’t tip over though; it just crashes back onto its wheels. He gets up and tries to swing from it again.)

Me: “By all means, ma’am, if it’ll make your day to sue us then go ahead. Just note you’ll have no case whereas I will have plenty of cause for calling social services on you.”

(The woman turns white and smacks her son’s hands.)

Woman: “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THE CART AGAIN!”

Me: “Thank you for understanding, ma’am.”

(I finished ringing her up and she hurried out of the store with her son in tow. Sometimes you really do have to spell it out for people why they can’t just laden all their responsibility on others.)

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Exhaustion Loves Company

| London, ON, Canada | Working | December 1, 2016

(I work at a grocery store, and I’ve only been there for about two months now. I’m still considered new, since the other women and men that work there have been working there for at least two years. It is probably important to note that I’ve had a long day at school, it’s about eight pm, I’ve been working since I got home from school and walked to work, and I’m exhausted. Customer #1 walks up to my till, and says hello.)

Customer #1: “Hello! Are you new?”

Me: “Little bit, ma’am. I’ve been here for about two months!”

Customer #1: “Well, this must be the first time I’ve seen you, then. I usually can remember a face!”

Me: *laughs, and begins to ring through Customer #1, bagging items as quickly as possible*

(I finish ringing her items through as Customer #2 arrives at my till.)

Me: “All right, what will it be today? Cash? Debit? Credit?”

Customer #1: “Oh! Debit!”

Me: “All right… Have a good day!” *pauses, confused* “I mean, go ahead! Did I just—”

(Customer #1 and Customer #2 laugh.)

Customer #1: “You must really be tired!” *finishes paying*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, long day! Would you like your receipt?”

Customer #1: *chuckles* “Yes, please!”

Me: “All right, here you are. Have a good day!”

Customer #1: “Yes, hello!”

(Pause, before Customer #2 laughs.)

Customer #2: “Guess we’re all exhausted, aren’t we?”

Wasn’t Born In The Pumpkin Patch

| MA, USA | Working | November 30, 2016

(It’s fall, time for pumpkin and pumpkin spice everything. I run to the store to get canned pumpkin, and I’m having trouble finding it. I look in three aisles I think it might be in, as well as at the ends of some aisles in case it’s in a special pumpkin display. No luck, so I’m getting frustrated. This store always has excellent customer service, so an employee stops to help.)

Employee: “Can I help you find something?”

Me: *speaking very fast, I’m so frazzled by now* “Yes, please! I’m looking for canned pumpkin. I’ve looked with baking, canned vegetables, and canned fruit, but I can’t find it.”

Employee: “What is it you’re looking for?”

Me: *speaking at a normal pace* “Canned pumpkin.”

Employee: “Can… what?”

Me: “Pumpkin.”

Employee: “Can you spell that?” *he pulls out what looks like his phone, or a hand-held computer, to try to look it up*

(I spell it, he types in “pumping.”)

Employee: “I don’t know…”

Me: “Like just a can of pumpkin. For pumpkin pie.”

Employee: “I don’t know what that is.”

(All of a sudden, I see it up the top shelf.)

Me: “Oh! There it is! Thank god. Thanks for your help.”

(As I rush away, he goes over to look at this mystery item he’d never heard of. Not sure how he’s gotten through life never hearing about pumpkin, in this pumpkin/pumpkin-spiced obsessed society! I appreciate his efforts to try to help me!)

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