Just Skate Right On Over The Facts

| UK | Right | June 23, 2016

(I work as a fishmonger in a well-known supermarket and a middle age woman approaches me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some skate; do you have any?”

Me: “I’m afraid skate is actually critically endangered now. It’s unlikely that you will ever be able to get skate again, but some other stores may sell different types of ray.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll come back next week, then.”

No One Can Get Their Point

| FL, USA | Right | June 20, 2016

Customer: “Can I have a pound of turkey, sliced thin, please?”

Me: “Which kind of turkey?”

Customer: *pointing to something in my meat case* “This one.”

(I have no way to tell what she’s pointing at, since the counter, the meat rack, and all the meats on it are blocking my view. I can only even see her arm down to the elbow.)

Me: “I can’t see what you’re pointing at, ma’am.”

Customer: *jabbing her finger at it* “THIS one.”

Me: “The counter is blocking my view, ma’am.”

Customer: “Then look closer, you f***ing [disabled slur]!”

Me: “Please don’t use language like that in the store, ma’am. Could you just tell me which kind you want?”

Customer: “THE ONE I’M POINTING AT!”

Me: *giving up and guessing* “Oh, you mean the [Brand] hickory smoked honey.”

Customer: “YES! What was so hard about that?!”

Complaint Compliant

| Lexington, KY, USA | Right | June 17, 2016

(For years our store’s deli has had meat/cheese slicing available as an on-demand service, with no additional slicing fee. More recently, many customers have been taking advantage of this, getting up to 14 or more pieces sliced at once. To hopefully put a stop to this and to save on labor costs, our corporate offices have decided to change this policy to an ordering system with next-day pickup PLUS a $2 charge per piece. There are several signs posted around our deli explaining the new policy. However we’ve had several customers either not pay attention to these signs or just think we’ll slice their order anyway.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could I get this ham sliced?”

(I apologize to the customer and explain the new rules to him in case he might not have seen the signs.)

Me: “We can still slice you order for you but it won’t be available until tomorrow morning, and there is a two dollar fee.”

Customer: “This is stupid! I live in [Town 20 miles away] and you expect me to come back tomorrow? AND I have to pay two dollars more? What are you going to do about this?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, there’s nothing I CAN do. Corporate is the one that started this new policy, not us. All of this is above my pay grade.”

(The customer grumbles under his breath and storms off. I think that’s the end of it but about ten minutes later I see that the same customer has cornered one of our managers. Later, as I’m about to go on my lunch break I ask the manager what happened.)

Me: *to the manager* “So, I’m guessing that guy bugged the crap out of you about slicing, too?”

Manager: *exasperated sigh* “YES! That was one of the most hard-headed people I’ve ever dealt with…”

(She begins telling me about HER interaction with the customer:)

Customer: “I just spoke with one of your associates. You mean to tell me you won’t slice when I ask anymore?”

Manager: “No, sir. Corporate changed the policy two months ago as a cost-cutting measure.”

Customer: “Well, then, what are you going to do?”

Manager: “We’re doing exactly what corporate told us to do, sir. My associate and I have explained the new rules to you.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand…I’m complaining! I live in [Town] and I shouldn’t have to come back tomorrow!”

Manager: “No, I do understand, sir. You’re not the only one who’s had a problem with the new rules. If you have any questions or complaints, you’ll need to call HQ.”

Customer: “Excuse me, but this is supposed to be customer service and you’re being very rude to me!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m being as nice as I can be in this situation. We cannot slice for you right this minute and we’ve given you alternative options.”

Customer: “You DO understand me, right?… This. Is. A. Complaint!”

Manager: “Sir, as I’ve already explained, this is a corporate issue. If you want to complain, give them a call. There’s nothing more I can do for you at the store level.”

(Apparently, this went in circles a few more time before the customer finally stormed off.)

Whatever Floats Your Oat

| Canada | Working | June 16, 2016

(I’m the worker in this scenario. I see a gentleman looking around for something, so I approach him.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for oatmeal.”

Me: “For eating?”

Customer: “Uh, yes. What else would I do with it?”

Me: *realizing what I just said* “Yeah, I’ll admit that wasn’t the smartest question I’ve said today.” *goes red with embarrassment*

(The kicker is that it wasn’t the first time that day I had asked that question!)

The Sting In The Tale Is A Lack Of A Sting

| Omaha, NE, USA | Working | June 15, 2016

(I am working the express checkout at a chain grocery store when one of the assistant managers gets word that another store nearby has just failed a sting. The managers then start informing all cashiers it is likely they will attempt to hit our store next since we get the most stings out of the entire company. They tell us anyone who looks under 35 gets carded no matter what and then explain the consequences if we fail.)

Me: “So, [Assistant Manager], are there any red flags we should be watching for in case they come here?”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, it’ll probably be some nervous looking kid attempting to shove cash in your hand before you even scan anything with the Hulk in a t-shirt lurking behind him.”

Coworker: “What happens if we fail?”

Assistant Manager: “Well, they’ll hand you a citation and then probably flag one of us down to inform us of the fines and consequences. Don’t forget, you’re liable for the fine and you can get charged with a misdemeanor and also be fired, so be vigilant.”

Coworker: *sounding disappointed* “Oh…”

(The assistant manager and I exchange glances.)

Assistant Manager: “What were you expecting?”

Coworker: “Well, I thought there would be like music or balloons or something.”

Assistant Manager: “You’re giving them the money, [Coworker], not the other way around.”

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