His Brain Has Expired

| Regina, SK, Canada | Working | June 8, 2016

(One of my coworkers is standing with a box of expired product beside him, and is checking the dates of items on the shelf.)

Coworker: “Hey, what’s the date today?”

Me: “Uh, it’s the eighth.”

(He checks the date of the product.)

Coworker: “Okay, it’s still good. Wait, what’s the month?”

Me: “May.”

Coworker: “Okay, yep, still good.”

(I start to walk away again when he calls back to me.)

Coworker: “Wait, what’s the year?”

Me: “Really, dude? It’s 2016.”

Coworker: “Um… Not 2014?”

Me: “No…”

(He then sighs and dramatically slides all of the product off the shelf and into the expired box. I guess we need to start teaching our stockers to rotate product better!)

Has A Steak In His Childhood

| Denver, CO, USA | Friendly | June 6, 2016

(I’m at the grocery store when I hear a small child, maybe four years old, singing:)

Child: “I love cheese and steak! Cheesesteak, cheesesteak! I love cheesesteak! I love cheese! Cheesesteak!”

Lettuce Have Our Puns

| CA, USA | Related | June 4, 2016

(I’m at the grocery store with my mom. I pick up a head of lettuce and hold it up. I look at my mom.)

Me: “Heads will roll if I throw this lettuce.”

Mom: *looks at me*

Me: “Yes, that was a bad pun and I’m not ashamed of it.”

Change (In Attitude) Required

| ON, Canada | Right | May 28, 2016

(I work as a cashier at a grocery store, and during my first three shifts, a more experienced cashier shadows me to make sure everything goes fine. This happens the second night on the job.)

Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: *hands me $1.75 more than total*

Me: “Okay, so your change is $1.75.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I gave you [$3 more than total].”

Me: “Sir, I still have what you gave me in my hand. You gave me [$1.75 more than total].”

(I show him what he gave me and I shows he didn’t have any other change.)

Customer: “You need to learn how to count your money and do your job!”

Supervisor: “Sir, [My Name] is more than capable of counting her money and she is doing her job. Now, are you going to take the $1.75 and stop bothering her on her second day of work, or do I need to call [Boss] and tell him you’re harassing his workers when they’re doing their job correctly?”

Customer: *mutters under his breath as he takes his change and bags his items*

Me: “Thank you and have a nice day!” *turns to supervisor* “Thank you for that.”

Supervisor: “Welcome to customer service.”

Next Customer: “You guys need to be paid more.”

Wish You Could Be Joyless

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Right | May 21, 2016

(At our store we have a notorious regular who comes in every single day and hates every single one of the entire staff and the whole store, and isn’t afraid to make it known. She hates everyone and everything. The irony is that her name is very similar to Joy. Our store is notorious for having excellent customer service and satisfaction and is often recognized by our corporate office in Arizona for it. This kind of interaction happens on a daily basis.)

Me: *sees Joy and perks up, trying to be as friendly and polite as possible* “Good morning! How are you today?”

Joy: *glares and frowns* “Terrible.”

Me: *as I start ringing her items up* “I’m very sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do for you to make it better?”

Joy: “Leave.”

Me: *awkward pause* “Um… did you find everything okay?”

Joy: “No. I never do.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Would you like any rain checks?”

Joy: “No.”

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry, ma’am. Your total is [total] and I even gave you a couple extra bag credits today!” *customers can get five cents off their purchase for each reusable bag they bring in and we use*

Joy: *squinting at the screen* “Did you give me credit for my bag?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I actually gave you five credits today. I know it’s only 25 cents, but every penny helps, right?” *smiles*

Joy: *glares and gives me her money*

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a nice day!”

Joy: “I won’t! I hate this store! You have terrible employees! I hate it here!” *takes her things and leaves*

Me: *sighs*

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